TIP #1 - If a girl ever blocks advancing the relationship by saying "No, let's just be friends," say, "No, I have lots of friends. See you later." By continuing this type of relationship, you portray yourself as someone who has nothing better to do than hang around with a girl who is not that interested in you. The relationship will never get to where you want to go - to bed. And even if by some miracle the relationship did advance to the bedroom, she would be doling out sex - dictating the where, when and how much. If she wants to cut you off at any time, she can and you have to accept it because that is the implied agreement from the start. She is in complete control; hence, she will never be satisfied with you.

If, on the other hand, you walk away from this relationship, you have established that you are the type used to leading a relationship, you have plenty of other girls willing to take you on your terms, and she is losing out. We have even seen cases where a man will completely turn around the relationship as soon as a girl sees that he is willing to "walk" rather than accept something that is not on his terms.

TIP #2 - When do you give up on a girl? When do you decide that a relationship is not advancing? When you are the only one making an effort to keep it advancing. If she is not putting energy in to you, take the hint and move on to the next prospect. Don't stay where you're not appreciated. If this situation does occur, try to figure out shy. How did she perceive you? What turned her off? Learn from your mistakes.

Reading A Single Woman's Sexy Signals  It takes two to tango. If you're a shy guy, learn how to read a single woman's seductive signals before you ask her to dance. Remember, shy can be very sexy!  Here are the top ten flirting gestures, body language, and actions that let you know a single woman is interested in you:  1) Eyebrow flash: She raises both eyebrows exaggeratedly for a couple of seconds, followed by a rapid lowering to the normal position. The flash is often combined with a smile and some eye contact. 2) Lip lick: Very common. Some women use only a single-lip lick, wetting the upper or lower lip, while others run the tongue around the entire lip area. 3) Short darting glances: Usually occurs in sets, with an average of three glances each.

 4) Hair flip: She pushes her fingers through her hair. This can be one hand movement or more of a stroking motion. 5) Coy smile: She gives you a sort of half-smile, showing little if any tooth, combined with a downward gaze or very brief eye contact. 6) Whisper: She leans over and speaks into her friend's ear, just like in junior high school. 7) Primping: She pats or smoothes her clothing, even if it doesn't need any adjusting. 8) Skirt hike: The hem goes up to expose a little more leg. 9) Object caress: Fondling keys, sliding hands up and down a glass, playing with toys or other things on the table. Very sensual. 10) Solitary dance: While seated, she moves in time to the music, with her eyes on you. This article was contributed by Deb Levine, author of, "The Joy of Cybersex."

Misconceived Beliefs of Shy Men

If  I Ask a Woman to Dance and  She Turns Me Down or If I Talk  to a Woman and She Ignores Me, It's Because I'm Not Worthwhile or Good Enough For Her.

This irrational  belief causes shy men to fear approaching a woman  and produces  low self-esteem when they are  rejected. This  fear of  being rejected  and turned  down  prevents  shy men from making contact with women.

If  you're turned  down for  a dance,  it doesn't mean that you're not worthwhile or not good enough for her. She just  may not feel like dancing at the moment. She may just be tired. She may not even dance. There can be a number  of reasons. So don't take it personally.  However, what to do in  a  case like this is to ask her, "Would you like to dance later?" If she says yes,  just ask her again  later. Even better, just ask her, "Well, can I join you for some conversation?" In the mean time just ask other women to  dance.  Also,  I might  add, a lot of guys get turned down  to  dance,  so  don't  feel that you're the only man  in the world that happens  to. It happens to all men, even real good-looking men.

If  you  approach  a  woman  and  try to start up a con- sation and  she  ignores  you,  don't  take that personally either. She  just may not feel  like talking or  being  bothered.  Perhaps  she's  tied down  to  a boyfriend  or even married. Also,  you just might not be using the  proper social skills.  So if she  ignores you, move  on to the next woman  and you'll find someone who will respond to your advances.

Centerfolds

These are the topless dancers right out of the pages of Playboy that you would die for and the kind of bodies men drool over.  I'm sure when you look at these girls you have all kinds of fantasies and your hormones are raging out of control.  Can you score with these dancers?  Yes.  Will it be easy?  No.  You're going to have to have something these dancers want and need.  And what can that be?  Material things, money, gifts, trips, something to further her career, cars, pay her rent, etc.

           

Will she date you if you have a lot of charm, good personality, and good looks or average looks, but not a man of financial means or material things to offer?  Well, maybe.  The main thing is to give it your best effort to get a date with these centerfolds.  So what if you get rejected.  It's not the end of the world.  Just move on to the next beautiful playmate.  Just look at it as a numbers game.  The more times you come to bat, the more chances you have to hit a home run.

TIP #1 - Flowers and small gifts, candlelight dinners, and romantic notes and cards are all great touches. Small in time and money it takes, but large in their effect. It is important that all of these are out-of-the blue and a surprise to her.

 

FOR EXAMPLE: Sneak over to her house and leave flowers and a note at her door. Again, use these romantic touches, but do so sparingly so that you don't come on too strong.

 

TIP #2 - Use imagination for your meetings - not just the same old date. Go for walks in the rain. Have picnics in the park. Go to showings of old classic movies.

 

TIP #3 - The easiest way to impress a girl is not with talk of your athletic prowess, financial wizardry, or social stature, but rather a simple compliment like, "You are dressed beautifully tonight." Make sure that you say it at the right time so that it doesn't look like you are just trying to give her a line.

Becoming physically intimate too soon can be fatal to a relationship. It can shatter the slowly developing friendship and trust between the two of you. It magnifies and distorts feelings, clouds judgment, and superimposes cruel reality on hopes and dreams ("Is that all there is?"). It narrows options and introduces tensions and pressures into what was a joyous and carefree acquaintanceship. It damns you for  lack of respect for the woman, and for lack of discipline on your part. It is begging for trouble.

Getting to know a woman, "touching" her is critically important in a relationship. Physical contact at the wrong time can intrude, hinder real understanding, block communication.

You can learn more about each other by joining your voices in song, by becoming one in music and lyrics and poetry, than by sleeping together. You can get a deeper sense of communion by sharing a meal than by sharing a bed. Just holding hands or a gentle kiss can easily be more explosively effective in linking the two of you than having sex.

Physical intimacy implies commitment, responsibility, a sense of permanence. It is a promise. The two of you should be fully committed to each other before you seal the bond with lovemaking. Sex should never be undertaken lightly, without a full understanding of its implications...and consequences.

For Shy Men Only

 

What  is  shyness?  Webster's  defines shyness as being "uncomfortable in  the presence of  others." For the  shy man  this refers  to being uncomfortable in the presence of the opposite sex.

               

Shyness  can be  a crippling  mental handicap and it's consequences can be devastating in the following ways:

 

1. Shyness breeds negative feelings like anxiety, de­pression, and loneliness.

2. It encourages you to think too much about  yourself and to be over-preoccupied with your own reactions.

3. It will limit you in  voicing your own opinions and values and speaking up for yourself.

4. Shyness hinders  your  thinking  and  ability  to communicate effectively.

5. It has an unfavorable bearing on how others will e­valuate your personality.

6. Shyness  makes  it more difficult for you to meet new people, make friends, or enjoy potentially good times. Thank goodness, shyness can be cured and overcome!

As an example of shyness, at  every nightclub you will find the  shy man. You'll see him just standing around all night, being afraid to approach a  woman and start up a conversation or even to ask a woman to dance. So what  happens? They  get frustrated and leave  the club.  They keep  coming to  the nightclubs and repeat the same routine. They stand around wishing they could meet someone, get frustrated, and then go home  frus­trated and depressed.

               

You  can overcome your shyness  and you "must" if you're going  to  nightclubs, etc.  This  kind  of  social setting  can be most threatening and anxiety-provoking if you are a shy man. This kind of setting will only aggravate your shyness condition if you don't take the appropriate steps to overcome your shyness.

               

In order for you to promote this change yourself, first you must believe  that change  is possible. You must  really want to overcome your shyness condition. Last, you must be willing to commit time and energy to take  action and  to risk  some temporary  failures in initiating change  procedures that  can lead to long-­term  success.  To  sum  it  up  you can change if you believe you can but it takes work...hard work.