Surviving A Breakup - 3 Things To Help

Surviving a breakup can feel impossible, especially if you didn't really want the relationship to end. But even if you were the one who decided it was over, it can feel crummy to have such an important part of your life end. There are three important things you can to help with surviving a breakup.

First, let yourself be sad. Its natural to not want to feel sad. None of us likes to be upset or depressed. But when a relationship ends, no matter who ended it, you lose a part of your life. If you haven't been dating long, the sad period probably wont last that long. But for a long-term relationship, you might be sad for a long time.

Its important, as painful as it is, to allow yourself to feel that way. The tendency is to avoid those feelings and try to move on to something that feels better. But being sad is a necessary step in the healing process.

Letting yourself feel the sadness will let you deal with the emotions and the pain. Remember that surviving a breakup is more than just moving on. If you can deal with the bad feelings, youll be better to able to experience the good feelings that come when you have moved on.

Second, keep busy. You have to deal with the sadness and not deny it or push it aside, but that doesnt mean you can or should let yourself wallow in it. If you feel like spending the entire day in bed crying, you can let yourself do that. But the next day, even if you feel that way again, make yourself do something else.

Let yourself cry for an hour, and then find an activity to help distract you. Even if its only watching a movie, at least you'll be able to concentrate on something else for brief periods of time.

Keep in mind that no matter how active your activity might be, sad thoughts and memories will still creep in. Even if you're solving a hard puzzle and concentrating to distract yourself, now and then a memory will pop up and your mind will be back on the breakup. This is normal.

You just have to deal with the feeling briefly and not let it sidetrack you. Feel it, cry for a bit if you need to, and then keep concentrating on your activity. Soon, the sad thoughts and feelings will pop up less and less when you're doing other things.

Finally, decide to forgive your ex. Surviving a breakup is not just about leaving one relationship and looking for another.

You need to resolve things in the old relationship to help you be more emotionally healthy in the next relationship. If you were hurt in the relationship, forgive your ex for his or her part in that.

This might seem an impossible task. Start by realizing that it really does take two, and that surviving a breakup is more important than having someone to blame for it.

 

Senior Dating - Personals Are The Way Forward

When you are ready to start senior dating, personals can be the best way to obtaining that first date.

Contrary to urban myth, the personal section of most quality newspapers are full of like minded individuals all looking for a partner to share their lives. Most personals are divided into sections based on sexual orientation and then sub divided by age.

Always state the age of the person you would like to meet. You can pick a broad range but keep it realistic or else your first date could look like a babysitting outing.

Don't discard any replies that are not your ideal mate. You should aim to meet those that match the friendship criteria i.e. you are not attracted to them but would like to spend time with them based on their qualities.

People who fail to meet their partners via personal ads or dating sites are those that close their mind to the other opportunities available. Your new best friend could be into senior golf i.e. he or she could introduce you to a whole golf club of potential partner candidates.

  

When writing your senior dating personals, you need to put your positive thinking cap on. You are trying to sum up in a few little lines, all those great qualities that make you such an attractive date. Spend time drafting an outline and ask your friends to do the same. Then amalgamate the two and see what the final ad is like.

Proof read your ad several times, sleep on it and then proof read it again. Appearances matter only now you will be judged on your writing and editorial skills not your looks.

Avoid common platitudes. It can sometimes appear as if every single personal ad has a great sense of humor. Be original and a little different - that way you stand out and your ad has more chance of being read.

Post your ad in the correct paper - this may appear obvious but some people end up posting an ad in a paper whose target market doesn't include their ideal partner.

Yes, you should have a fairly good idea of who your ideal partner would be. This way, you will write the ad targeted at that particular market.

Ok success - he or she has phoned in response to your ad. So what do you do now? Well obviously phone them back. Try to stay calm and reduce the nerves.

Always use a code to prevent your real number being revealed (safety, safety) and pick a time when you are feeling relaxed and happy. Keep the call light and obviously check that now is a good time for the other person to talk. Make arrangements to meet in a public place and then end the call.

Do not put pressure on yourself to get to know him/her over the phone. Some people cannot communicate via the phone and thus may not show their best side.

Senior dating personals just may be the road to your new life partnership.

Senior Date Just As Hard The Second Time

A first time senior date is every bit as nerve racking as a first date for a 16 year old. Life experience does nothing to ease the jitters of meeting someone for a romantic connection for the first time. In fact, if you have recently left a long time relationship, it may be even harder for you to go out on the scene again than it is for younger people. Here's some tips to minimize the anxiety for a first time senior date.

First of all, you should lower the expectations. Don't expect your first date to be the person who you spend the rest of your life with. Think of it as a way to meet a new person who you might be friends or more with.

Next, choose the location well. Many people think of a date as dinner and a movie. But this may be too much for a first senior date. Instead, meet for coffee or lunch. That keeps things on a lighter level. More importantly, it keeps the date short.

If you share common interests, that makes a great first senior date. For instance, if you both enjoy art, go to an opening at an art museum. You will find it much easier to talk when you have a natural common interest in front of you.

Avoid making a date for someplace where you will be alone. A picnic by a secluded creek can be very romantic, but its not a good idea for a first date.

But, going to a movie, play, or music event, even though it is crowded, may not be a good idea either. That's because it doesn't give you a chance to talk.

You should always arrive at your destination in separate vehicles so that either of you can leave if things get uncomfortable. Also, let a friend or family member know where you are going and who you are going with. It is unfortunate, but these days, it is important to be safe.

After a first senior date, you have to decide whether to see the person again. If the first date was enjoyable and the companionship seems good, by all means go out again. If you were at all uncomfortable, listen to your instincts.

Don't feel that you have to go out on second dates just because you went out on the first one. Lifes too short at this point to go on meaningless dates. It may also prevent you from investing the emotional energy into finding someone with whom you can spend the rest of your life.

Yes, a senior date is just as nerve racking as a high school date. But first dates remain first dates whatever the age. Go out with confidence, hoping for romance, and committed to having fun whatever the outcome.