How to Create Stronger and More Romantic Relationships With Single Women

You have been dating a nice woman, and the two of you seem to feel at ease with each other and enjoy being together. It feels right being with her, but you have yet to touch, to hold hands, to exchange more than a hug and a nominal kiss or two. Where do you go from here?

  1. Talk. Set up lines of communication. Establish a rapport.
  2. Share your past, your pain and disappointments as well as your triumphs and joys.
  3. Laugh together, cry together. Humor is healing, and tears are sacred.
  4. Slowly and reverently peel back the layers of mystery in each other.
Every revealed nuance, every secret desire, every confession of weakness, every exploration of hope and admission of paralyzing fear strengthens the bond between the two of you, helps you accept the other as a human being, flawed but worthy of acceptance as a trusted and intimate companion.
Share interests, activities, and hobbies:
  1. Play games you both enjoy, board games, lawn games, tennis, bowling, miniature golf, pool, etc.
  2. Prepare home cooked meals for her, and volunteer to wash the dishes when she cooks for you. 
  3. Don't forget to praise her spaghetti sauce (made from an old family recipe, no doubt).
  4. Sing to her. Make up silly rhymes to tunes you know.
  5. Tell her stories, true stories from your life and made up stories from your imagination.
  6. Write poems especially for her.
  7. Read aloud favorite plays, each of you taking a part.
Develop customs and "traditions" unique to yourselves as a couple:
  1. Celebrate the monthly anniversary of your first meeting with a small party.
  2. Give her little, inexpensive presents (stuffed animals, key chain trinkets, bath soaps). The personal touch counts.
  3. Remember 'special' dates, not just her birthday.
Build trust:
  1. Be reliable.
  2. Act honorably.
  3. Treat her with respect.
  4. Keep your word. Always.
Learn how to disagree:
  1. Establish the 'rules of engagement', the ground rules for arguing. There is a line you may not cross without causing permanent injury.
  2. Be willing to compromise your differences (as distinct from your principles). Making up after a fight can bring you closer than you
  3. were before.
Get to know her family, and introduce her to your own:
  1. Family background gives important clues to a person's character.
  2. A long-term relationship is a bond between families, not just the persons involved.
There comes that magic moment when you finally touch, when she fiercely grasps your hand of her own free will, when you start to give her the usual goodnight peck on the cheek and she turns her face to catch the kiss full on her lips (and, oh, how soft and yielding and warm they are!). This is a healing touch, an affirmative, giving touch. It is a pledge of yearned for commitment, a seed cast upon the waters of tomorrow.

Consider the process, the dynamic of how two people become one, a couple. The two of you gradually grow closer, begin to have deep feelings for one another, and to bond. Past a certain threshold, you cease to think of the woman as someone you have been dating, instead she becomes the other half of us. This is the point where commitment enters the picture, commitment to the relationship and to the happiness and well being of your partner. This is the critical moment when you decide to share your life together.

Cautions: Since you are somewhat inexperienced in the realm of man- woman relationships, you will blunder at first, learning by trial and error, making painful mistakes. You force the pace, letting your anxiety and impatience bruise the fragile trust between you. You let personal insecurities drive you to acts of jealousy. You try to change, or "remodel" her. Your stratagems to pull her closer, to take possession of her -- drive her away. Sometimes, it seems as if all your efforts are self-defeating...

Be prepared for the possibility that the relationship may never "kindle". If such be the case, consider it 'training' for your next one. Go on with your life. Meet new persons. Explore new relationships.
Finally, recognize that even a close relationship may go sour. Danger signs in a failing relationship include lack of respect between partners, constant bickering, and, most telling of all, power and domination dramas. If the two of you can no longer make each other laugh, give each other comfort by a touch, and share intimate moments, then there is little hope left. If your partner disparages and makes fun of you, there is not much remaining to hold on to. You can no longer evade hard choices, and the time has come to consider a graceful exit.

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