Animate Your Listening

She can't read your mind, but she can read your face to get a clue of your reactions. Look at yourself in a mirror and imagine things that make you sad, happy, astonished, shocked. Exaggerate your expressions - try so hard that every facial muscle feels strained!

Experiment with every feeling you think may come up in a conversation - respect, admiration, sympathy. As you become more used to expressing your emotions this way, you will feel less as though you are overdoing it, and you will better convey your feelings.

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Single male 1953 model, low mileage, high performance. Bumped a few times, but never wrecked. Proven ability to hug the road and not wander off course. Exterior in mint condition, warm, sentimental, sensitive interior, never soiled. Factory equipped entertainment package includes stereo, humor, depth, imagination and intelligence. Radio picks up all kinds of rock and jazz. Spacious seats with plenty of room for passenger...runs on high-octane fun and romance, lifetime supply included. Available for inspection by female drivers only, prefer 20-40 eye-catching exterior, self-confident, affectionate, warm, sincere with sense of humor and full set of tools. Come from close solid family, would like to have little Toyotas some day. Equipped with Marketing Degree. Only driven once a week by little old lady to/from church. To arrange test drive, please write. HAPPY MOTORING.

Your Courage Is Impressive

In the FIRST PHASE of a pick-up, you are trying to impress the girl. To help your confidence and understanding of what is happening, remember that the very fact you are picking her up is very impressive to the girl. Girls admire courage in a man. They like a take-charge guy. You are showing a lot of guts by defying convention and trying to pick her up.

She will also feel very flattered that you have gone to this trouble to meet her. She will be pleased and thrilled by your attention, although she may not feel it is proper to show her pleasure or offer you encouragement right away.

If I Ask a Woman to Dance and She Turns Me Down or If I Talk to a Woman and She Ignores Me, It's Because I'm Not Worthwhile or Good Enough For Her.

This irrational belief causes shy men to fear approaching a woman and produces low self-esteem when they are rejected. This fear of being rejected and turned down prevents shy men from making contact with single women.

If you're turned down for a dance, it doesn't mean that you're not worthwhile or not good enough for her. She just may not feel like dancing at the moment. She may just be tired. She may not even dance. There can be a number of reasons. So don't take it personally. However, what to do in a case like this is to use this pick up line to ask her, "Would you like to dance later?" If she says yes, just ask her again later. Even better, just ask her, "Well, can I join you for some conversation?" In the mean time just ask other women to dance.

Also, I might add, a lot of guys get turned down to dance, so don't feel that you're the only man in the world that happens to. It happens to all men, even real good-looking men.

EXAMPLE #2 - Alan was attracted to a girl that worked at a store that the often went to. From her name tag, he knew her name was Elise. At first he would just maintain eye contact and smile at her as she worked the cash register and made change for his purchases. Her manner was very positive, and he was sure that she was interested in him, but he avoided any long conversations. He was always friendly and positive towards her, but the lack of conversation or "come on" kept her guessing.

One day, knowing that the store closed in an hour, he walked up to the counter and said, "Listen, some friends are coming over for dinner at my house. Would you like to join us?"

I don't even know your name!" was the reply.

"My name is Alan. Will you join us?"

She was shocked that she hesitated, but only for an instant. He gave her directions to his house, and then went home to call some friends to see if they wanted to come to dinner, so that his story would have credibility to Elise. The dinner went well. They got to know each other, and began dating.

Alan did many things right: 1) He kept her guessing about whether he was ever going to ask her out. 2) He asked her to come to a casual get-together on the spur of the moment. If she declined, it wouldn't have been as embarrassing as if he asked her out on a real date. 3) The dinner was a very casual affair giving both of them an ideal opportunity to meet and talk with no pressure. 4) He was able to portray himself as a fun-loving, spontaneous person who enjoys having people over for an evening of friendly talk and good food.