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This week I want to focus on a problem for a lot of men that interferes with their chances for finding love romance, and relationships.
A lot of guys fall into the trap of thinking that there's only one girl out there in the whole wide world for them and when they find her it will be the key to their happiness forever. The real truth is that you could be perfectly happy with any number of women that come along in your life at the right time. It's all a matter of both parties being willing to commit to building a relationship built on love,
commitment, compromise, and trust.
Another mistake is to think you can find the perfect girl for you. When I say perfect, I'm saying a girl with no flaws or shortcomings. There has never been a perfect person on earth except God. We all have flaws in our makeup and personalities. We just can't be perfect every day to everyone. At some point we are always going to do something or say something that the opposite sex does not agree with.
If you can accept the fact that no one woman is perfect, you'll have a lot easier time accepting her as she is and not try to change her or criticize her for being the way she is.
1. THEATRE (LIVE) -Most larger towns offer live theatre performances that can be just as good as a Broadway play in New York City. Attending live theatre on a date ranks at the top of the list for things to do on a date in my opinion.
2. THEATRES (MOVIE) -This is probably the most popular thing to do for entertainment. However, I don't recommend it for a first date. You can't really get to know someone while you're watching a movie. May I suggest, on a first date, go to the most romantic restaurant you can find.
3. TOURS -Discover your area by going on any sightseeing tours. You would be surprised to find out that there are a lot of things you have not seen in your area.
4. TRAIN RIDES -If there are any scenic train rides available in your area, this would be a great idea for a date. Here in Houston we have a train that goes on a scenic tour to Galveston.
5. VIDEO DATE -Why not visit your local video store and rent some movies. This makes a great date and don't forget the popcorn! You may not be aware of it, but some libraries offer free movie rentals. Also, may I recommend renting, "Body Heat" to get her in a hot mood.
This week I want to focus on a problem for a lot of men that interferes with their chances for finding love romance, and relationships.
A lot of guys fall into the trap of thinking that there's only one girl out there in the whole wide world for them and when they find her it will be the key to their happiness forever. The real truth is that you could be perfectly happy with any number of women that come along in your life at the right time.
It's all a matter of both parties being willing to commit to building a relationship built on love, commitment, compromise, and trust.
Another mistake is to think you can find the perfect girl for you. When I say perfect, I'm saying a girl with no flaws or shortcomings. There has never been a perfect person on earth except God. We all have flaws in our makeup and personalities. We just can't be perfect every day to everyone. At some point we are always going to do something or say something that the opposite sex does not agree with.
If you can accept the fact that no one woman is perfect, you'll have a lot easier time accepting her as she is and not try to change her or criticize her for being the way she is.
Trust me, you will go through some storms in your relationships. It's all part of playing the dating game. The main thing is to not let it get you down.
You need to be like the palm tree during storms and hurricanes. Let me explain why:
Have you ever watched a palm tree in a storm or hurricane? They will bend so hard they almost touch the ground. Then when the wind subsides they bounce right up.
You need to be just like that palm tree after you go through some dating storms. You need to bounce right back up and be stronger than ever.
Make yourself comfortable. Put on some of your favorite music in the background. Soft music, music with a romantic undertone, as you prefer. Dim the lights (but not so low that you are unable to read your project book, wall chart, or index cards). Have a glass of water within reach. Take a deep breath and punch those numbers.
"Hello, I'm John Smith. No, I'm not peddling insurance, just my own sweet self. I'm the fellow who asked you for your phone number last night at the art gallery. Time to let her talk. Keep enough presence of mind to make the appropriate noises and grunts at the right times to let her know you're still there. Laugh at her funnies. Encourage her. Administer verbal strokes and smiles, as necessary.
Speak in your natural voice... you need not strain. Take care not to dwell overly much on yourself. I, I, I, I... talking about I and me constantly is boring, boring. Ask her about herself, question her *gently*. Let her talk. Listen. Listen. Respond. Pepper the conversation with humor, genuine good humor. Humor is the saving grace of human discourse.
There is an abundance, a veritable universe to talk about, to share:
1. Tell her about the time you almost skidded off the overpass because you were trying to juggle a soft drink and a baloney sandwich.
2. Share your most embarrassing moments growing up.
3. Explain why the sky gets dark at night (Olber's Paradox).
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4. Discuss the implications of not helping the refugees of Kosovo.
5. Discuss whether cats make better pets than dogs, or vice versa.
6. Give her your favorite exotic scrambled egg recipe.
7. Play her a song from your favorite album.
Avoid like the plague politics, religion, and conspiracy theories. There will be plenty of time to argue about these later in the relationship. Iffy topics include demonic possession and the occult, UFO's, and the weather. Subject that tend to arouse strong negative feelings or conversely, that evoke no feelings at all, are best left alone.
When the conversation starts to wind down, when you both run out of things to say - this is a signal to sign off. Tell her how much you enjoyed speaking with her, that her company, even at a distance, has enlivened your evening. Ask her, gently, if she would care to repeat the experience (assuming it has not been too painful for either of you). Hang the phone up and have a cold beer or glass of wine to celebrate.
If emotional blocks to meeting single women are too strong for self-help, don't be afraid to try psychotherapy or tranquilizers! Also, if you are suffering from depression, seek help from your doctor who can prescribe you some really good antidepressant drugs to help you fight and overcome feelings of depression.
Some of you single men who read our dating tips archive may be so shy, inhibited, and psychologically blocked that you will be unable to truly profit from the advice contained in our archive or our books, CD's, DVD's, cassettes, and videos on meeting, attracting, dating, and seducing single women. I beseech you not to come to any such conclusion until you until you have first made a strong, persistent effort to practice the methods and techniques in our dating tips and advice in our products. Remember that the overwhelming majority of single men who read our tips, books, listen to our tapes, and watch our videos will be able to use this advice effectively to meet, date, attract, and seduce single women without outside professional help.
But if you have powerful blocks, can not bear to start a conversation with a woman, or face the company of a date, no matter how hard you try, then you probably need psychotherapeutic help.
Get in touch with the nearest mental hygiene clinic, or ask your family physician to recommend a good psychiatrist or psychologist. Your physician may also prescribe one of the many, very effective tranquilizers, not as a cure-all but to help reduce your anxiety, embarrassment and fear sufficiently for you to begin going out, meeting single women, talking to them, and developing promising relationships.
