When doing research for a book I wrote on how to pick up single sexy women in bars and nightclubs, I interviewed over 200 single women in nightclubs. One of the questions was, "What kind of man turns you off in a nightclub?" Here are some of their answers (most of the women had the same answers):
Robin - "One who comes right up in your face with bad breath. A man with bad body odor and wrinkled clothes. Takes things for granted and sits down without asking. One who comes on too strong."
Kerry - "One who thinks he's a good dancer, but steps all over your feet."
Erika - "The overly flashy type man. A man who treats me like a piece of meat."
Valerie - "A man that acts dumb. He shows off in front of everybody. He thinks he's real cute. Cares more about himself than he does about you. Also, he comes right up to you with bad breath."
Paula - "A show off, a man that thinks he's really special, a guy dressed tacky, or a bum, a fast mover."
Susan - "A drunk, stubborn man. Some men insist that you dance with them even if you say no. That turns me off."
Gail - "A forward, especially drunk, insistent man."
Debbie - "A fat, drunk man. A man who thinks he's macho."
 Free Dating Tips on How to Meet, Attract, and Seduce Women
Erin - "A foul-mouth man."
Sandra - "Too feminine and doesn't dress masculine. A fat man. A man who is not a good listener."
Karen - "If he's too suggestive, dresses too fancy (don't like suits), and too
drunk."
Kim - "A guy that's too pushy and brags too much on himself."
Nicole - "A guy that's too forward and obnoxious."
Barbara - "Gay and ugly men."
Nancy - "A drunk and untidy man."
Natalie - "A cocky snob (stuck up)."
Gayle - "Short and fat. Real conceited guys who think they are God's gift to women."
Peggy - "A man I don't even know that fondles me and paws at my body. A real drunk guy that stumbles up to me and trys to hustle me or dance with me. Obese men." Teresa - "The type that lie and sit around and brag about themselves. They think
they are hot stuff."
In conclusion, use these interviews as a guideline on how to conduct yourself accordingly at the nightclubs. You're not going to score with very many sexy single women if you do things to turn them off. These interviews can be summed up as follows:
1. Single women like to be approached in a respectable manner. They usually don't like the aggressive approach and don't like to be treated like a piece of meat.
2. Single women like well-groomed, well-dressed men, with a pleasing personality. 3. Single women dislike conceited, drunk, forward, and obese men.

The dating phase of a relationship is a very crucial aspect of relationship building. It is a time intended for learning, for sharing thoughts, hopes, dreams, fears and for bonding. If we skip this crucial phase, what then, are we bringing upon ourselves?

My 13-year-old son pretty much summed up what passes for the progression of relationships today like this:

Two people hang out together for a while with a bunch of other people, he said. Then, they decide they wanna get married, have some kids, decide they don't like each other and what they've gotten themselves into, get a divorce, and have to pay child support.

His description, sadly, is almost dead-on. Is this truly what we aspire to? What is happening here? Are we truly "skipping" the dating phase completely, leaping from introduction to engagement without ever really taking the time to get to know each other? Without any true bonding or relationship building at all? Have we, as a society, completely eliminated the true date and opted for merely hanging out instead?

Today, we hear couples say they are going on a date, and then usually the couple attends some group function or outing in a public place where lots of their friends are gathered. They all just "hang out" together, at the mall or at the movies, making what was supposed to be a time of sharing and getting to know one another more of a group social event than anything.

Perhaps something vital is being left out of most relationships today, and that something is the dating phase.

It wasn't always this way. Once there was a "pecking order" for all things relationship-py, and it went something like this: There was an introduction, which progressed to occasional meetings at adult-chaperoned events, and then came the dating phase.

The purpose of dating, then, could be described as a phase of time in two people's lives spent together as a couple in order to get to know one another better as individual people, on a one-on-one basis.

Time spent together out of the shadow of their peers, during which they could be themselves their real, true selves and decide if who and what each of them were as individuals would be better, stronger, more beautiful and capable merged into one entity, which it would be, if they came together as a couple.

If and only if this dating phase of a relationship went well (meaning the couple involved decided, based on time spent together getting to know each other on a deeper, more personal level, that the ingredients necessary for a long-term, forever kind of relationship were present between them), there was usually an engagement announced, and finally, a marriage.

Consider this the next time you're asked to go on a date. Are you truly dating? Or are you just hanging out? You'll know.

Dating Older Women

For a long time, older men have been able to capture the hearts of younger women. This may have been partly evolutionary. Younger women could still bear healthy children while older men had the financial wherewithal to support them.

But, in our affluent society where smaller families are the norm, some younger men have begun dating older women.

Older women who seek younger men out to date are known as cougars. There are some famous Hollywood couples who fit the younger man dating older women pattern. For instance, Demi Moores love is Ashton Kutcher. And, Susan Sarandon has been married to Tim Robinson for years.

One reason that many older women prefer younger men is that women peak sexually in their late 30s and into their early 50s. Men, on the other hand, peak in their late teens and early twenties. So, a sexually motivated woman may look to date a younger man whose libido more closely matches her own.

Additionally, younger men are more likely to understand the social needs of an older woman. While older men may be stuck looking at women in more traditional roles, younger men are more open to see a womans career strengths and earning power as a plus.

But younger men also have their reasons for dating older women. He gets the excitement of the sexual experience and the sexual self confidence of a woman who knows her way around the bedroom. Such a man will be able to relax knowing he doesnt have to take the lead all of the time.

He may also get the financial security out of dating older women that younger women get out of dating older men. He can take the time to pursue graduate school, develop his talents as a concert pianist or start his own business secure in the fact that he doesnt have to be the breadwinner.

This is not to say that the younger man dating an older woman is not without its downsides. Women worry that as they age, they will become less attractive to a younger man.

Another potential sticking point is that after a certain age, a woman can no longer bear children. While she may have children of her own from a previous relationship or not want to have children, a younger man may come to feel that he wants to father children. This is not possible when he is with an older woman whose biological clock has run out.

Older men have long faced the problem of dating women their childrens ages. But now women are facing the same situation. How do grown children feel when mom brings home a young stud their age? It may not be something they have ever considered possible.

While it certainly is still not common for a younger man to be dating older women, it is no longer out of the realm of common occurrence. If you are interested in dating older women, there are web sites which feature personals for cougars.

Copyright 2006 David Steele

In my work as a Marriage and Family Therapist most of my practice has been working with couples, because after experiencing divorce growing up as a child, and again after a ten year first marriage, I decided that my mission is to help people have successful marriages and families, and I thought the best way to do that would be as a marriage counselor. However, what I discovered over the years is that people generally make appointments with me when it's almost too late; they're on the verge of divorce or it might be a last resort, after there's been a lot of irreversible damage done.

How relationships work and how to have a successful Life Partnership have always been fascinating mysteries to me. One thing's for certain; times have changed and what used to work doesn't work anymore. The biggest change in the past 30 years impacting relationships that I can see is that we have developed a need to be "happy". This is a dramatic shift from our parents and grandparents who were quite satisfied surviving and achieving some measure of comfort and security. The need for happiness sounds very simple and innocent, but it's the primary reason for failed relationships today, and the high divorce rate, single parent families, mental and physical health problems, juvenile delinquency, welfare, and so on.

While we seek to be happy in relationships, we don't seem to know how. As a result I have seen many people make relationship choices and fall into traps that prevented them from getting what they want in their life, resulting in unhappiness and relationship failure. A trap is basically an unsolvable problem that results in unhappiness in a relationship. Getting out of the trap often means leaving the relationship.

When you're single you can do a lot more than you realize to avoid these traps and prepare for a successful and lasting relationship, as you'll see in this article.

1. Marketing Trap

Believing you need to make yourself more appealing to attract a partner and "selling" yourself with attractive packaging and presentation. High risk of disappointment and relationship failure as people discover that the excitement and promise of the "sizzle" conflicts with the reality of the "steak".

Solution: Authenticity. You will attract compatible people when you show them who you really are. At the risk of mixing metaphors, "Birds of a feather flock together", so don't try to look like a prize-winning chicken when you are your own breed of duck!

2. Scarcity Trap

Believing there is a limited supply of possible partners, so you have to take what you can get or be alone. Results in relationship failure when you settle for less and compromise your Requirements. A self-fulfilling prophecy when you get less because you expect less.

Solution: Define your first choice of what you really want and persevere. Trust that if you apply yourself you can get what you really want in your life. You must be able to say "No" to what you DON'T want, to be available to say "Yes" to what you DO want. You have the power to choose who, what , where, when, and how, and can get what you really want if you make effective choices aligned with your Vision and Requirements.

3. Compatibility Trap

Assuming that if you have fun together and get along well, you are compatible and a committed relationship will work. Results in relationship failure when discovering the vast difference between a fun-focused, recreational " dating" relationship, and a serious long-term committed relationship. Being so different, the process and criteria for choosing a recreational relationship needs to be very different from choosing a Life Partner.

Solution: When you are ready for a Life Partnership, define your Requirements and use them to scout, sort, and screen potential partners. Do not try to convert a recreational relationshipinto a committed one, unless 100% of your Requirements are met.

4. Fairytale Trap

Passively expecting your ideal partner to magically appear and live happily ever after without effort on your part. Believing that finding your soul mate will just "happen". Results in disappointment when the frogs that happen to jump into your life don't become princes.

Solution: Take personal responsibility for your relationship choices and outcomes. Have effective scouting, sorting, and screening strategies. Initiate contact and be the "Chooser", don't simply react to people that choose you.

5. Date-To-Mate Trap

Becoming an "instant couple" as if giving each person you date an extended test drive. Believing that if you develop an exclusive relationship with someone you are dating, a successful committed relationship will eventually happen. Other terms for this are "Serial Monogamy" and the "Mini-Marriage.. This approach is a costly use of time and emotional energy. The inertia in this trap is pressure to make the relationship work, attempt to solve unsolvable problems, and fit the round peg in the square hole because breaking up and being single again is an undesired outcome.

Solution: Date a variety of people and have fun without being exclusive. When you are ready for a committed relationship define your Requirements and use them as tools to scout, sort, and screen potential partners. Make a careful relationship choice and consciously use a "pre-commitment" period to determine if this is the right relationship for you.

6. Attraction Trap

Making relationship choices based on feelings of attraction. Interpreting a strong attraction to someone as a sign that the relationship is a good choice and "meant to be". This approach results in relationship failure when unsolvable problems surface because you ignored the red flags while infatuated. Unconscious choices usually result in repeating unproductive past patterns.

Solution: Balance your attractions by defining your Requirements and use them to scout, sort, and screen potential partners. "Choose your life's mate carefully. From this one decision will come ninety percent of your happiness or misery.(H. Jackson Brown, Jr. from "Life's Little Instruction Book").

With over 700 online dating sites in the United States alone and new sites cropping up weekly, it can be difficult to choose the right site totally free online dating site for you. The vast choices available can be overwhelming. Totally free online dating site comes a dime a dozen. Choosing a totally free online dating site could sometimes be confusing. Totally free online dating site lets you try the free dating services before making a financial commitment. Totally free online dating lets you try out some of the numerous dating sites in order to know which one offers the best opportunity for you to meet people.

There are innumerable advantages in using totally free online dating site on the Internet. First is the convenience. Totally free online dating site offers the world of dating at your fingertips. The freedom of totally free online dating site is that you can post a profile, browse members of a website and often receive emails at absolutely no cost. Some sites may require you to only pay the free online dating site when you want to write back to someone or initiate first contact. This means you never have to join a totally free online dating site that doesnt meet your own standards.

Many people use totally free online dating site upon the referral of friend. If some of your friends are successful in their online dating quest, you naturally want to try out the same site to see if lightning can strike twice in the same place. Others have a standard criteria for the free online dating site because they strongly associate themselves with a specific group such as Christian, Asian, gay, vegetarian, swingers name it and theres a probably a free online dating site for it.

Totally free online dating should allow you to have total control over the point at which you give out your personal email address or phone number. Find out if the totally free online dating site ever sells your information to telemarketers or allows members to access your personal information. Any breach of your privacy is grounds for choosing a new totally free online dating site. Some totally free online dating sites pose as dating sites but are in reality pornographic sites or are soliciting your personal information for profit. Be sure the totally free online dating site you join is legitimate and is truly in the business of bringing singles together.

If you are considering online dating, there are a few tips that can help make the experience a more enjoyable and successful one.

Online Dating Tip # 1

Find someone who shares your common interest, life goals and family preferences. It is important to share some of the same hopes in order for a relationship to be worthwhile.

Online Dating Tip # 2

Use caution when giving out personal information, including your full name, address or telephone number. At first, provide nothing more than an e-mail address.

Online Dating Tip # 3

During casual conversations, look for possible warning signs of control, jealousy or tempers.

Online Dating Tip # 4

If an individual seems to be extremely needy or needs to talk to you every minute, this may be a sign of possessive behavior and should be recognized early. If you notice this happening, move on and find another possible online dating match.

Online Dating Tip # 5

Dont be afraid to ask questions. Its perfectly normal to inquire about marital status, children, hopes, dreams, etc. If someone is uncomfortable with these questions, its a good indication they have something to hide.

Online Dating Tip # 6

Dont rush. Take the time to get to know someone before you decide that you are comfortable enough to meet them. A relationship takes time to build and there is no reason to rush into anything.

Online Dating Tip # 7

If you learn that someone hasnt been honest about his/her profile or other detail, end the dating potential immediately. Dishonesty is no way to begin a relationship and it makes you question anything else that he/she may be hiding.

Online Dating Tip # 8

With honesty in mind, it is important that you be honest in your profile and with anyone whom you are having an online dating relationship with. If and when the relationship is ready to move to the next level, it will be too late to correct anything that wasnt truthful and the chance of a relationship will likely be lost.

Online Dating Tip # 9

If you plan to meet someone in person, do so in a public place. Preferably, the meeting time would be early in the day or the afternoon. It is never a good idea to meet a perfect stranger at dark or in a secluded area.

Online Dating Tip # 10

Be yourself. Don't pretend to like something or be someone that you are not just to please the other person. If they are the right one for you, there will not be a reason to pretend. 

10 Tips Dating Advice For Men

Whether you're an experienced dater, just getting back into the single swing after the break-up of a long relationship, or somewhere in between, here is some dating advice for men that you should keep in mind.

  

1. Make a good impression. This starts with your personal hygiene. Get a hair cut if necessary and shave. You don't have to wear cologne (in fact some women don't like it) but you must be clean. Make sure you are wearing nice looking clothes that you feel comfortable in and that fit you well.

2. If you smoke, you want to seriously consider giving it up. If you can't, make all attempts to get rid of your smoker's breath and cough. Ironically enough, even women who smoke can't stand the smell of smoke on their man.

3. Listen more and talk less. Ask your date a lot of questions about herself and listen to the answers. Women love to chat and if you can remember things she's told you and bring them up later, you will impress her.

4. Try to keep up with current affairs that you can discuss in conversation - this is one of the best pieces of dating advice for men that is often overlooked.

5. Take some time to learn about manners and chivalry. Women want to be treated with respect. Hold the door open for your date. Don't use rude or vulgar language. It can also help to know how and what to eat in a fancy restaurant, and a little about fashion, jewelry and flowers.

6. Keep your sports lingo in check. Most guys love sports and that's fine. But it shouldn't be all you talk and think about, at least while you are with your date. Some women love sports too. But they don't tend to talk about it all the time as men can do. Many women interpret an obsession with sports talk as a total lack of thought, creativity or inspiration.

7. If you don't dance, you might want to consider learning how. Women love to dance and the benefit for you is that it puts you in close contact with each other. Dancing is considered romantic and sexy. Worse than being a terrible dancer is staying seated when your date wants to dance. You could even take lessons together.

8. Don't expect sex on the first date. Period.

9. Keep your career goals as one top priority. Most women want a man who has some ambition in life and even if they pretend to think your job isn't important, they do.

10. Taking your date for a drink every once in a while is fine but don't make it a habit to hang out at bars all the time.

These is just an introductory guide to the many aspects that are part of dating advice for men. Heed these and you will be off to a good start!