Let's face facts. Finding your senior match can often be more difficult than dating for the first time at high school. Sure at school you were nervous but everyone around you was in the same boat. You were all teenagers and it was exciting and unknown territory.

But when you are trying to find love in later years, it is completely different. Not least because the majority of your peers are either still involved in happy couple land or else they are happily single. There are many different reasons why people look for love in their twilight years. They may have been recently bereaved or divorced or perhaps now for the first time, they have time to spend on dating and romance. Whatever the reason, it may be slightly more difficult but the good news is that it is possible to find romance if you know where to look.

The world of dating has changed in more ways than one. Whereas in the old days, you relied on friends, neighbors and your local dance hall to find dates, now you are limited only by how far you are prepared to look. The internet has broken down global barriers with some people finding new love in foreign lands. It is very socially acceptable to post a personal advert in your local newspaper or you could try joining a dating service.

Check out your local town to find out if they run singles clubs or speed dating nights. You will obviously want to check the age group that these activities are aimed at. You may feel young at heart, but a night with a bunch of teenagers or early twenty year olds is enough to put years on anyone!

If you are shy and retiring, you may prefer to join a singles dinner club. These places arrange nights out at local restaurants and organize groups of people to attend. It is all very casual and there is no pressure on anyone to pair off. It can be a very good way to broaden your social circle.

Don't forget to ask your friends to see if they know anyone who is in a similar situation. You may not be attracted to each other, but you could end up going to these single events together for some moral support.

Also join a few clubs and associations in your area. People meet new partners every day through shared interests so you never know what may happen.

Be open minded and look at every new situation in a positive light. Be safe though. If you are going out to meet someone new, always use a public venue and let your friends know where you are going, if possible who you are meeting and when you will be home. It pays to be safe.

Who knows when Cupids arrow may strike but one thing is certain, if you don't put yourself out onto the social scene, nobody not even Cupid will know you are available.

Good luck finding your senior match.

Finally Dating Advice For Men Over 40

Many men perceive being over 40 as a disadvantage when it comes to dating. But those of you who do will be happy to learn that most women actually like the idea of dating older men. You also many think that all the "worth-it" women are already spoken for, but this is also not the case. If you're over 40 and seeking attractive women to date, you'll like the following dating advice for men over 40.

First of all, instead of going out and trying to meet women by joining clubs or doing activities that attract women, start doing things that you genuinely like to do. While you may meet a lot of women at "women-based" places, unless you are really interested in these groups or activities, you will probably not get too far with the ones that you do meet. While you may have not had time to join certain clubs before, you do have the time now so take advantage of it.

Dress your age and wear clothes that flatter you both in fit and color. One of the many advantages of being an older guy is that you have the money to spend on clothes. You don't have to dress up in a suit and tie all the time (especially if that's required of you for work) but there are ways to look nice and show your style even if you're dressed casually. Women pay attention to sytle and this is one way to attract their attention.

Take a break. This is often overlooked in other dating advice for men over 40. But traveling is a fantastic way to meet new interesting people, especially when you're single. Go on an organized adventure like a cruise or jungle safari, something that fits your interests. You can even pick tours that suit your age brackets and tastes specifically. You might not necessarily find the next woman of your life on this trip but you will definitely have fun and come back refreshed and recharged.

Start going to the parties and events that you turned down in the past. It's time to start meeting new people. While old friends and family are always supportive and make you feel comfortable, you should make a conscious effort to develop new friendships (with men and women alike) as well. . .which can lead to new romances in a more indirect way.

Become a volunteer. Wherever you happen to live, there are surely chances for you to offer your own contributions to the society. Doing this will make you feel better about yourself while also helping others and meeting like-minded people along the way.

Definitely take advantage of the internet but make your own rules. Stick to dating sites which specifically cater to men and women over 40. Compose your online dating profile with care - be unique and sell yourself. Don't write the same thing that everyone else does. And most importantly, look for women with common interests and shared values, not just those who seem "ready to roll" on the first date.

And the last piece of dating advice for men over 40, remember that you can find the woman of your dreams no matter what your age!

When doing research for a book I wrote on how to pick up single sexy women in bars and nightclubs, I interviewed over 200 single women in nightclubs. One of the questions was, "What kind of man turns you off in a nightclub?" Here are some of their answers (most of the women had the same answers):
Robin - "One who comes right up in your face with bad breath. A man with bad body odor and wrinkled clothes. Takes things for granted and sits down without asking. One who comes on too strong."
Kerry - "One who thinks he's a good dancer, but steps all over your feet."
Erika - "The overly flashy type man. A man who treats me like a piece of meat."
Valerie - "A man that acts dumb. He shows off in front of everybody. He thinks he's real cute. Cares more about himself than he does about you. Also, he comes right up to you with bad breath."
Paula - "A show off, a man that thinks he's really special, a guy dressed tacky, or a bum, a fast mover."
Susan - "A drunk, stubborn man. Some men insist that you dance with them even if you say no. That turns me off."
Gail - "A forward, especially drunk, insistent man."
Debbie - "A fat, drunk man. A man who thinks he's macho."
 Free Dating Tips on How to Meet, Attract, and Seduce Women
Erin - "A foul-mouth man."
Sandra - "Too feminine and doesn't dress masculine. A fat man. A man who is not a good listener."
Karen - "If he's too suggestive, dresses too fancy (don't like suits), and too
drunk."
Kim - "A guy that's too pushy and brags too much on himself."
Nicole - "A guy that's too forward and obnoxious."
Barbara - "Gay and ugly men."
Nancy - "A drunk and untidy man."
Natalie - "A cocky snob (stuck up)."
Gayle - "Short and fat. Real conceited guys who think they are God's gift to women."
Peggy - "A man I don't even know that fondles me and paws at my body. A real drunk guy that stumbles up to me and trys to hustle me or dance with me. Obese men." Teresa - "The type that lie and sit around and brag about themselves. They think
they are hot stuff."
In conclusion, use these interviews as a guideline on how to conduct yourself accordingly at the nightclubs. You're not going to score with very many sexy single women if you do things to turn them off. These interviews can be summed up as follows:
1. Single women like to be approached in a respectable manner. They usually don't like the aggressive approach and don't like to be treated like a piece of meat.
2. Single women like well-groomed, well-dressed men, with a pleasing personality. 3. Single women dislike conceited, drunk, forward, and obese men.

The dating phase of a relationship is a very crucial aspect of relationship building. It is a time intended for learning, for sharing thoughts, hopes, dreams, fears and for bonding. If we skip this crucial phase, what then, are we bringing upon ourselves?

My 13-year-old son pretty much summed up what passes for the progression of relationships today like this:

Two people hang out together for a while with a bunch of other people, he said. Then, they decide they wanna get married, have some kids, decide they don't like each other and what they've gotten themselves into, get a divorce, and have to pay child support.

His description, sadly, is almost dead-on. Is this truly what we aspire to? What is happening here? Are we truly "skipping" the dating phase completely, leaping from introduction to engagement without ever really taking the time to get to know each other? Without any true bonding or relationship building at all? Have we, as a society, completely eliminated the true date and opted for merely hanging out instead?

Today, we hear couples say they are going on a date, and then usually the couple attends some group function or outing in a public place where lots of their friends are gathered. They all just "hang out" together, at the mall or at the movies, making what was supposed to be a time of sharing and getting to know one another more of a group social event than anything.

Perhaps something vital is being left out of most relationships today, and that something is the dating phase.

It wasn't always this way. Once there was a "pecking order" for all things relationship-py, and it went something like this: There was an introduction, which progressed to occasional meetings at adult-chaperoned events, and then came the dating phase.

The purpose of dating, then, could be described as a phase of time in two people's lives spent together as a couple in order to get to know one another better as individual people, on a one-on-one basis.

Time spent together out of the shadow of their peers, during which they could be themselves their real, true selves and decide if who and what each of them were as individuals would be better, stronger, more beautiful and capable merged into one entity, which it would be, if they came together as a couple.

If and only if this dating phase of a relationship went well (meaning the couple involved decided, based on time spent together getting to know each other on a deeper, more personal level, that the ingredients necessary for a long-term, forever kind of relationship were present between them), there was usually an engagement announced, and finally, a marriage.

Consider this the next time you're asked to go on a date. Are you truly dating? Or are you just hanging out? You'll know.

Dating Older Women

For a long time, older men have been able to capture the hearts of younger women. This may have been partly evolutionary. Younger women could still bear healthy children while older men had the financial wherewithal to support them.

But, in our affluent society where smaller families are the norm, some younger men have begun dating older women.

Older women who seek younger men out to date are known as cougars. There are some famous Hollywood couples who fit the younger man dating older women pattern. For instance, Demi Moores love is Ashton Kutcher. And, Susan Sarandon has been married to Tim Robinson for years.

One reason that many older women prefer younger men is that women peak sexually in their late 30s and into their early 50s. Men, on the other hand, peak in their late teens and early twenties. So, a sexually motivated woman may look to date a younger man whose libido more closely matches her own.

Additionally, younger men are more likely to understand the social needs of an older woman. While older men may be stuck looking at women in more traditional roles, younger men are more open to see a womans career strengths and earning power as a plus.

But younger men also have their reasons for dating older women. He gets the excitement of the sexual experience and the sexual self confidence of a woman who knows her way around the bedroom. Such a man will be able to relax knowing he doesnt have to take the lead all of the time.

He may also get the financial security out of dating older women that younger women get out of dating older men. He can take the time to pursue graduate school, develop his talents as a concert pianist or start his own business secure in the fact that he doesnt have to be the breadwinner.

This is not to say that the younger man dating an older woman is not without its downsides. Women worry that as they age, they will become less attractive to a younger man.

Another potential sticking point is that after a certain age, a woman can no longer bear children. While she may have children of her own from a previous relationship or not want to have children, a younger man may come to feel that he wants to father children. This is not possible when he is with an older woman whose biological clock has run out.

Older men have long faced the problem of dating women their childrens ages. But now women are facing the same situation. How do grown children feel when mom brings home a young stud their age? It may not be something they have ever considered possible.

While it certainly is still not common for a younger man to be dating older women, it is no longer out of the realm of common occurrence. If you are interested in dating older women, there are web sites which feature personals for cougars.

Copyright 2006 David Steele

In my work as a Marriage and Family Therapist most of my practice has been working with couples, because after experiencing divorce growing up as a child, and again after a ten year first marriage, I decided that my mission is to help people have successful marriages and families, and I thought the best way to do that would be as a marriage counselor. However, what I discovered over the years is that people generally make appointments with me when it's almost too late; they're on the verge of divorce or it might be a last resort, after there's been a lot of irreversible damage done.

How relationships work and how to have a successful Life Partnership have always been fascinating mysteries to me. One thing's for certain; times have changed and what used to work doesn't work anymore. The biggest change in the past 30 years impacting relationships that I can see is that we have developed a need to be "happy". This is a dramatic shift from our parents and grandparents who were quite satisfied surviving and achieving some measure of comfort and security. The need for happiness sounds very simple and innocent, but it's the primary reason for failed relationships today, and the high divorce rate, single parent families, mental and physical health problems, juvenile delinquency, welfare, and so on.

While we seek to be happy in relationships, we don't seem to know how. As a result I have seen many people make relationship choices and fall into traps that prevented them from getting what they want in their life, resulting in unhappiness and relationship failure. A trap is basically an unsolvable problem that results in unhappiness in a relationship. Getting out of the trap often means leaving the relationship.

When you're single you can do a lot more than you realize to avoid these traps and prepare for a successful and lasting relationship, as you'll see in this article.

1. Marketing Trap

Believing you need to make yourself more appealing to attract a partner and "selling" yourself with attractive packaging and presentation. High risk of disappointment and relationship failure as people discover that the excitement and promise of the "sizzle" conflicts with the reality of the "steak".

Solution: Authenticity. You will attract compatible people when you show them who you really are. At the risk of mixing metaphors, "Birds of a feather flock together", so don't try to look like a prize-winning chicken when you are your own breed of duck!

2. Scarcity Trap

Believing there is a limited supply of possible partners, so you have to take what you can get or be alone. Results in relationship failure when you settle for less and compromise your Requirements. A self-fulfilling prophecy when you get less because you expect less.

Solution: Define your first choice of what you really want and persevere. Trust that if you apply yourself you can get what you really want in your life. You must be able to say "No" to what you DON'T want, to be available to say "Yes" to what you DO want. You have the power to choose who, what , where, when, and how, and can get what you really want if you make effective choices aligned with your Vision and Requirements.

3. Compatibility Trap

Assuming that if you have fun together and get along well, you are compatible and a committed relationship will work. Results in relationship failure when discovering the vast difference between a fun-focused, recreational " dating" relationship, and a serious long-term committed relationship. Being so different, the process and criteria for choosing a recreational relationship needs to be very different from choosing a Life Partner.

Solution: When you are ready for a Life Partnership, define your Requirements and use them to scout, sort, and screen potential partners. Do not try to convert a recreational relationshipinto a committed one, unless 100% of your Requirements are met.

4. Fairytale Trap

Passively expecting your ideal partner to magically appear and live happily ever after without effort on your part. Believing that finding your soul mate will just "happen". Results in disappointment when the frogs that happen to jump into your life don't become princes.

Solution: Take personal responsibility for your relationship choices and outcomes. Have effective scouting, sorting, and screening strategies. Initiate contact and be the "Chooser", don't simply react to people that choose you.

5. Date-To-Mate Trap

Becoming an "instant couple" as if giving each person you date an extended test drive. Believing that if you develop an exclusive relationship with someone you are dating, a successful committed relationship will eventually happen. Other terms for this are "Serial Monogamy" and the "Mini-Marriage.. This approach is a costly use of time and emotional energy. The inertia in this trap is pressure to make the relationship work, attempt to solve unsolvable problems, and fit the round peg in the square hole because breaking up and being single again is an undesired outcome.

Solution: Date a variety of people and have fun without being exclusive. When you are ready for a committed relationship define your Requirements and use them as tools to scout, sort, and screen potential partners. Make a careful relationship choice and consciously use a "pre-commitment" period to determine if this is the right relationship for you.

6. Attraction Trap

Making relationship choices based on feelings of attraction. Interpreting a strong attraction to someone as a sign that the relationship is a good choice and "meant to be". This approach results in relationship failure when unsolvable problems surface because you ignored the red flags while infatuated. Unconscious choices usually result in repeating unproductive past patterns.

Solution: Balance your attractions by defining your Requirements and use them to scout, sort, and screen potential partners. "Choose your life's mate carefully. From this one decision will come ninety percent of your happiness or misery.(H. Jackson Brown, Jr. from "Life's Little Instruction Book").

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