What makes a great relationship? What are the ingredients for creating a happy, healthy, forever kind of partnership in life? I believe there are four necessities, things you must both provide in order to have a relationship that is as close to perfect as humans can make them.

I call those four necessities Pillars of Perfection, and these four pillars are the basic cornerstones underpinning every great, lasting relationship the world has ever known. What are they?

The First C is Caring: Both parties in a thriving relationship has to care about themselves, yes, but most especially about each other and about the relationship as a third, separate entity.

Why? Because a person will tend to only work on things they truly care about. So the first pillar in a great relationship is caring.

The Second C is Commitment: You must be willing to commit to forever. This means, good or bad, heaven or hell, war and/or peace, you're willing to stand up and fight for what you care about, which is each other.

You must be dedicated to your relationship, to creating a life and lifestyle that suits you both and then doing whatever it takes to maintain it for the rest of your lives together. So commitment is the second pillar in a great relationship.

The Third C is Communication: Communication is our way of getting our own thoughts, hopes, fears, and ideas across to someone else. If we do not communicate, our partners have no way of knowing what we expect, what we want, need, desire, or crave from our relationships.

You must be willing and able to talk, to communicate openly and honestly about your expectations in order to maintain a happy, healthy, long-term relationship.

The Fourth C is Compromise: From the mouth of John Michael Montgomery, from the text of the Bible, and from the lips of just about every person in the world, in some form or the other, come these fateful words: You do have to give if you want to receive.

There is a give and take in any relationship. Problems start when one person does more giving than taking (or more taking than giving). To avoid this, you must be willing to compromise in order to create a harmonic balance in your relationship. That is why the fourth pillar of perfection in great relationships is compromise.

Think your relationship is lacking one or two of these pillars of perfection? There is no time better than now to begin work on constructing those pillars you feel your relationship lacks. Why now? Because tomorrow may be too late, and you would hate to miss out on being able to look back on 50, 60, 70 years or more of contented togetherness, wouldn't you?

I wouldn't be willing to trade that for anything in the world.

So forget about the work involved, and just be happy you are able to put in the time and effort now to ensure your relationship is one that will last, one that can stand the tests of time and endure forever.

Entering into a marriage is a huge commitment. For many people, it is a lifelong commitment. Marriage is a sacred union between two people. They are professing their love for each other and formalizing things with a ceremony. They will share this time with friends and family and they will have everyone that means a lot to them present at the wedding.

Entering into this new part of your life is often a very huge step for people. There can be a lot of anxiety and uncertainty that goes along with the decision to get married. However, there are some things that can help make things go smoothly and help you to make a conscious decision about whether you are ready to marry your partner or not. By answering these five questions, you will get a clear idea of exactly what your relationship is built on and where it has the potential to go in the future.

1. Children - Yes or No?

The first thing to discuss is whether you and your partner have the same thoughts and feelings on children. Do you both want children? Are you both planning on becoming parents at some point in the future? If there is a difference of opinion here, then you need to seriously rethink your relationship. A difference of opinion on children can wreak havoc on a marriage later on. It is not fair to your spouse or to the children that you may have in the future; if they are not wanted.

2. Family Finances:

Your next issue is money and spending habits. Are you and your partner able to have practical conversations regarding your finances and how money is spent? If you have a hard time talking about this prior to getting married, you are going to have a much harder time talking about it after you are married and are sharing all of the financial responsibilities. This can doom a marriage to failure before it ever starts. Plus, the majority of all divorces are caused by financial issues.

3. Marriage Bed:

can you talk openly about sex with your partner? If you are not completely satisfied or see some things that need to be worked on, are you able to tell your partner this? Are you both open to listening and working out any issues that either of you have? If you are not able to have an open sex life with each other and talk about it, there is no way that you are ready to enter into a marriage together. Chances are that if you are already having issues related to your sex life, they are only going to get worse over time.

4. Mother and Father In Law:

You need to know how much the in-laws are going to be in your life. They may be the most wonderful people in the world. Perhaps they are very loving and caring. They may have deep feelings for both you and your partner. However, they cannot run your life. They are not in control of your marriage or your relationship. If there are no boundaries and in-laws are allowed to do as they please, you are both setting yourselves up for disaster.

5. Household Chores:

The last thing that needs to be discussed is chores. Ask your partner if they will clean the toilet. Now, this may sound crazy, but think about it. Do you want to be responsible for doing all of the housework? Do you think it is fair that you be solely responsible for cleaning up messes that both of you make? If your partners answer to this question is, No or isnt that your job? you need to take a long hard look at whether or not you are ready to enter into a marriage with this person or not.

Technology has always been there to make lives of people easier. In fact, thanks to technology the world of emotions has also been conquered. Dont try to think dirty here folks. What Im talking about is the love connection that can happen through online dating sites and chatting rooms or software such as ICQ, MSN or MIRC.

Thanks to these websites and chat software people have been given a better chance to find their partner. This is because people are given the chance to be connected wherever they might be. All different cultures and walks of life are able to meet with a simple click of the keyboard. In short a person has got a better chance to meet his or her partner because of the greater number of daters. It is also easier to meet people online thanks to online date sites and chat rooms.

After chatting for a while and getting to know one another, it would be natural to meet. It would be a pretty shallow relationship if both of you are happy to be forever just chatting. Both persons may just be really looking for someone to talk to.

Finding love through the internet offers the two sides to get intimate right away. This is because it is easier to be yourself when chatting online. Just imagine that you can say anything stupid and you wont see the other person thinking that its corny. Instead most chatters, even though you are pretty corny just type LOL (laugh out loud).

Because of the perception that you have built about yourself and the other person, meeting them becomes very hard. This is because of the perception you have given to him or her during chatting could not be really you. Both of you will then have higher expectations of who the real person really is.

Another problem that online chatting could present is the confidence of a person. Since it is easier to talk online, a person who is very shy or timid may have a hard time keeping up with who he or she really is. The person instead is like living both worlds.

When also meeting for the first time after long periods of chatting that could last in the wee hours of the morning, is being able to adjust. Both of you would have to figure out that it would be harder to talk on real life because of certain other factors involved. You are now both able to see the persons mannerisms. This will be the toughest part that you would have to overcome. Once you have gone past this, the rest will be easier.

It is suggestible though to meet sooner rather than later. When meeting earlier at the chatting stages, this prevents both person having higher expectations. This also helps both parties to decide right away whether they are just better of friends or continue to develop the relationship. This helps both parties prevent disappointment and heartaches.

 

Let's face facts. Finding your senior match can often be more difficult than dating for the first time at high school. Sure at school you were nervous but everyone around you was in the same boat. You were all teenagers and it was exciting and unknown territory.

But when you are trying to find love in later years, it is completely different. Not least because the majority of your peers are either still involved in happy couple land or else they are happily single. There are many different reasons why people look for love in their twilight years. They may have been recently bereaved or divorced or perhaps now for the first time, they have time to spend on dating and romance. Whatever the reason, it may be slightly more difficult but the good news is that it is possible to find romance if you know where to look.

The world of dating has changed in more ways than one. Whereas in the old days, you relied on friends, neighbors and your local dance hall to find dates, now you are limited only by how far you are prepared to look. The internet has broken down global barriers with some people finding new love in foreign lands. It is very socially acceptable to post a personal advert in your local newspaper or you could try joining a dating service.

Check out your local town to find out if they run singles clubs or speed dating nights. You will obviously want to check the age group that these activities are aimed at. You may feel young at heart, but a night with a bunch of teenagers or early twenty year olds is enough to put years on anyone!

If you are shy and retiring, you may prefer to join a singles dinner club. These places arrange nights out at local restaurants and organize groups of people to attend. It is all very casual and there is no pressure on anyone to pair off. It can be a very good way to broaden your social circle.

Don't forget to ask your friends to see if they know anyone who is in a similar situation. You may not be attracted to each other, but you could end up going to these single events together for some moral support.

Also join a few clubs and associations in your area. People meet new partners every day through shared interests so you never know what may happen.

Be open minded and look at every new situation in a positive light. Be safe though. If you are going out to meet someone new, always use a public venue and let your friends know where you are going, if possible who you are meeting and when you will be home. It pays to be safe.

Who knows when Cupids arrow may strike but one thing is certain, if you don't put yourself out onto the social scene, nobody not even Cupid will know you are available.

Good luck finding your senior match.

Finally Dating Advice For Men Over 40

Many men perceive being over 40 as a disadvantage when it comes to dating. But those of you who do will be happy to learn that most women actually like the idea of dating older men. You also many think that all the "worth-it" women are already spoken for, but this is also not the case. If you're over 40 and seeking attractive women to date, you'll like the following dating advice for men over 40.

First of all, instead of going out and trying to meet women by joining clubs or doing activities that attract women, start doing things that you genuinely like to do. While you may meet a lot of women at "women-based" places, unless you are really interested in these groups or activities, you will probably not get too far with the ones that you do meet. While you may have not had time to join certain clubs before, you do have the time now so take advantage of it.

Dress your age and wear clothes that flatter you both in fit and color. One of the many advantages of being an older guy is that you have the money to spend on clothes. You don't have to dress up in a suit and tie all the time (especially if that's required of you for work) but there are ways to look nice and show your style even if you're dressed casually. Women pay attention to sytle and this is one way to attract their attention.

Take a break. This is often overlooked in other dating advice for men over 40. But traveling is a fantastic way to meet new interesting people, especially when you're single. Go on an organized adventure like a cruise or jungle safari, something that fits your interests. You can even pick tours that suit your age brackets and tastes specifically. You might not necessarily find the next woman of your life on this trip but you will definitely have fun and come back refreshed and recharged.

Start going to the parties and events that you turned down in the past. It's time to start meeting new people. While old friends and family are always supportive and make you feel comfortable, you should make a conscious effort to develop new friendships (with men and women alike) as well. . .which can lead to new romances in a more indirect way.

Become a volunteer. Wherever you happen to live, there are surely chances for you to offer your own contributions to the society. Doing this will make you feel better about yourself while also helping others and meeting like-minded people along the way.

Definitely take advantage of the internet but make your own rules. Stick to dating sites which specifically cater to men and women over 40. Compose your online dating profile with care - be unique and sell yourself. Don't write the same thing that everyone else does. And most importantly, look for women with common interests and shared values, not just those who seem "ready to roll" on the first date.

And the last piece of dating advice for men over 40, remember that you can find the woman of your dreams no matter what your age!

When doing research for a book I wrote on how to pick up single sexy women in bars and nightclubs, I interviewed over 200 single women in nightclubs. One of the questions was, "What kind of man turns you off in a nightclub?" Here are some of their answers (most of the women had the same answers):
Robin - "One who comes right up in your face with bad breath. A man with bad body odor and wrinkled clothes. Takes things for granted and sits down without asking. One who comes on too strong."
Kerry - "One who thinks he's a good dancer, but steps all over your feet."
Erika - "The overly flashy type man. A man who treats me like a piece of meat."
Valerie - "A man that acts dumb. He shows off in front of everybody. He thinks he's real cute. Cares more about himself than he does about you. Also, he comes right up to you with bad breath."
Paula - "A show off, a man that thinks he's really special, a guy dressed tacky, or a bum, a fast mover."
Susan - "A drunk, stubborn man. Some men insist that you dance with them even if you say no. That turns me off."
Gail - "A forward, especially drunk, insistent man."
Debbie - "A fat, drunk man. A man who thinks he's macho."
 Free Dating Tips on How to Meet, Attract, and Seduce Women
Erin - "A foul-mouth man."
Sandra - "Too feminine and doesn't dress masculine. A fat man. A man who is not a good listener."
Karen - "If he's too suggestive, dresses too fancy (don't like suits), and too
drunk."
Kim - "A guy that's too pushy and brags too much on himself."
Nicole - "A guy that's too forward and obnoxious."
Barbara - "Gay and ugly men."
Nancy - "A drunk and untidy man."
Natalie - "A cocky snob (stuck up)."
Gayle - "Short and fat. Real conceited guys who think they are God's gift to women."
Peggy - "A man I don't even know that fondles me and paws at my body. A real drunk guy that stumbles up to me and trys to hustle me or dance with me. Obese men." Teresa - "The type that lie and sit around and brag about themselves. They think
they are hot stuff."
In conclusion, use these interviews as a guideline on how to conduct yourself accordingly at the nightclubs. You're not going to score with very many sexy single women if you do things to turn them off. These interviews can be summed up as follows:
1. Single women like to be approached in a respectable manner. They usually don't like the aggressive approach and don't like to be treated like a piece of meat.
2. Single women like well-groomed, well-dressed men, with a pleasing personality. 3. Single women dislike conceited, drunk, forward, and obese men.

The dating phase of a relationship is a very crucial aspect of relationship building. It is a time intended for learning, for sharing thoughts, hopes, dreams, fears and for bonding. If we skip this crucial phase, what then, are we bringing upon ourselves?

My 13-year-old son pretty much summed up what passes for the progression of relationships today like this:

Two people hang out together for a while with a bunch of other people, he said. Then, they decide they wanna get married, have some kids, decide they don't like each other and what they've gotten themselves into, get a divorce, and have to pay child support.

His description, sadly, is almost dead-on. Is this truly what we aspire to? What is happening here? Are we truly "skipping" the dating phase completely, leaping from introduction to engagement without ever really taking the time to get to know each other? Without any true bonding or relationship building at all? Have we, as a society, completely eliminated the true date and opted for merely hanging out instead?

Today, we hear couples say they are going on a date, and then usually the couple attends some group function or outing in a public place where lots of their friends are gathered. They all just "hang out" together, at the mall or at the movies, making what was supposed to be a time of sharing and getting to know one another more of a group social event than anything.

Perhaps something vital is being left out of most relationships today, and that something is the dating phase.

It wasn't always this way. Once there was a "pecking order" for all things relationship-py, and it went something like this: There was an introduction, which progressed to occasional meetings at adult-chaperoned events, and then came the dating phase.

The purpose of dating, then, could be described as a phase of time in two people's lives spent together as a couple in order to get to know one another better as individual people, on a one-on-one basis.

Time spent together out of the shadow of their peers, during which they could be themselves their real, true selves and decide if who and what each of them were as individuals would be better, stronger, more beautiful and capable merged into one entity, which it would be, if they came together as a couple.

If and only if this dating phase of a relationship went well (meaning the couple involved decided, based on time spent together getting to know each other on a deeper, more personal level, that the ingredients necessary for a long-term, forever kind of relationship were present between them), there was usually an engagement announced, and finally, a marriage.

Consider this the next time you're asked to go on a date. Are you truly dating? Or are you just hanging out? You'll know.