A Few Pitfalls in Dating, Meeting Single Women
Why You Must Avoid Getting Involved with the Wrong Women
Meeting and dating women may be hazardous to your health, and in particular, your emotional well-being. Risks include making a fool of yourself, subjecting yourself to humiliation and ridicule, being exploited, and, of course, heartbreak. Worse yet, you may be done in by your very success and end up in a bad relationship. As a shy man, you are especially vulnerable, due both to your very lack of experience in the dating arena and your romantic nature. Proceed with caution.
"Here there be tigers."
Predators stalk the shadows. Here lurk "users" and "players", schemers who would take advantage of you, who would betray your trust, who would profit from your painful loneliness and desperate need for affection, who would turn your deepest longings against you, who would manipulate you for their own purposes. Women, even sweet gentle women, alas, bear within them the same sickness, the same depths of rage, the same capacity for corruption and depravity... as you and I.
- Cruelty, viciousness, as expressed in mockery, putdowns.
- Immaturity, as expressed in "games playing", blame laying, whining.
- Superficiality, as expressed in vanity, flightiness, pettiness.
- Lacking in intelligence.
- Lacking in wisdom and common sense.
- Lacking in integrity and basic honesty.
- Lacking in compassion and generosity.
- Lacking in inner strength (courage).
Becoming involved with the wrong person equals a prescription for unhappiness. The adage that "it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" is scant comfort to the man courting a woman who does not return his affections. This is the dreaded "one-way love" scenario. Nearly as nerve wracking to deal with is the woman who is not quite sure that she loves you, who plays up to you when you start to distance yourself, yet pulls away when you want closeness. Every variety of games playing, every deviation from honesty and integrity undermines a relationship at its very foundations and diminishes the people involved.
In the mirror image situation, should you not wish to pursue a relationship with a woman who is attracted to you, be kind to her. Show her compassion, remembering all the times you were in her place. By all means, be honest about your intentions, but respect her feelings, and let her down easy. While you do not owe her your company, at least treat her with respect.
Avoid entanglements with married women, for very common sense reasons. Not only might you be poisoning a family relationship, perhaps hurting children in the process, but you run the risk of encountering an angry, and possibly armed husband. While adultery is no longer a punishable offense in most jurisdictions, it remains immoral, unethical, and certainly dangerous conduct.
A woman on the rebound from a failed relationship presents a ticklish problem. True enough, she is needy of affection, of healing, and will be grateful for your presence, your solace. Still, her feelings for you will be flickering and tenuous, her moods changeable, her attachment to you shaky. She will alternately cling to you and push you away. She will sweeten your existence... and bring you misery. You will constantly be asking yourself whether it is worth it.
If you are over age 18, stay away from young girls. It is a crime for an adult male to consort with an underage girl, as well it should be.
In all your loneliness, take care in awarding your affections. You will find your partner and mate, your intended... in time, and likely after weathering disappointments and collecting a few bruises. Beware of imposters.
This article contributed by Leo Cooper at http://personal.riverusers.com/~thegrendel/cover.html.
