Cheaters in Relationships

Relationships and Cheating

It's a sad reality, people cheat on their spouses. You can't hardly read a paper or watch t.v. these days without hearing about some politician or sports figure making a public apology for an affair. But can you avoid this type of relationship? Is it possible to have a relationship with no cheating, or do relationships and cheating go hand it hand?

The good news is that not everyone cheats. As a matter of fact, there are lots of people who will stay faithful to their partner for their whole life. The important thing to remember is that cheating is a choice, it's not some biological need.

Our society tends to have a double standard between men and women when it comes to sexuality, even in this modern day and age it's still there. While society tends to turn a blind eye to the indiscretions of a man and in some ways even condones that type of behavior, women are still made to feel as though they are a slut if they have multiple partners while men are referred to as studs. See, double standard is alive and well.

So if a man, or woman, tries to say they cheated because they couldn't help it, you know that is not true and there is just something wrong with that particular person. Once you realize that, you can end the relationship and move on to someone who has more respect for them self and for you and your relationship.

In many cases the warning signs will be there very early in the relationship and once they've been spotted you can save yourself an awful lot of pain by ending things right then and there. For example, if you are starting to date someone who you know cheated in their last relationship, what makes you think they won't do the same thing to you?

Many people will be very delusional at this point and convince themselves that their lover cheated in their past relationship because something was wrong in the relationship and since you are so wonderful and your relationship is so wonderful they don't need to cheat on you.

That line of thinking couldn't be more wrong. There's actually quite a bit of evidence to suggest that men are actually more prone to cheat on a wonderful loving women more quickly. Why? Simple, because on some level he thinks that she's so in love with him that he can do whatever he wants to and she will put up with it. And, unfortunately, that's often true.

People also tend to cheat because they aren't getting the feeling of love that they need. On of the best ways to greatly diminish the possibility that your lover will ever cheat on you is to pick someone who has a lot of self confidence. I don't mean a stupid, fake macho swagger which is really just a sign that that person is very insecure, but I mean someone who knows who they are and likes who they are. That type of person would be far less likely to need to have a harem of women telling him how great he is. He'd be much more likely to be content with just his wife telling him how great he is.

Just keep these tips in mind and remember that relationships and cheating do not have to go hand in hand. The best deterrent to cheating is finding the right partner.

Keeping Relationships Fun

Relationship Fun Keeps A Relationship Alive

We all know how to have fun, at least we used to. For many adults we seem to have lost the ability to just let go and have some fun, along with some great, big belly laughs. Unfortunately that lack of fun can have serious negative effects on us, our health, and our relationships. Put some relationship fun back in your life. You might save your relationship...and your mind!

Having fun with your partner can be virtually anything that the two of you enjoy together. And if it makes you laugh out loud, that's even better. You can go to an amusement park, check out the latest comedy at the local movie theater, stay home and play a energetic video game, whatever. One word of caution though when playing games together: don't let your competitiveness become a problem This isn't a competition between you and your partner, it's a chance for the two of you to share an easy going, fun, time together.

If you are the type of person that is overly competitive (which is almost always a sign of being very insecure and you may want to get some counseling to help you feel better about yourself so you don't always have to 'win') then you'd be better off sticking to non- competitive fun things with your partner, forget the games for now.

When you really let go and act like a twit that can be a scary thing. You might be afraid your partner will think you're weird and make fun of you. When you can share these times with your partner and you are both acting silly together, that actually builds trust between the two of you. That is just another bond between the two of you and your relationship is one step stronger.

When you first started dating your partner, and falling in love, the two of you probably laughed and acted silly all the time. But as we grow into our relationship, especially when we start living together and start sharing the responsibilities of a household, we seem to have fun with our partners less and less.

One thing you can do to determine how much fun is in your relationship, is over the course of a week keep a journal. Mark down how many things you do with your partner that are pleasant such as watch a movie together, talk, go for a walk, play a game, and have sex, etc versus how many non-fun things you do together such as take out the trash, talk about your financial situations, talk about troubles at work, etc.

If this ratio of good times vs. bad times is like most relationships it's probably way out of balance. Most couples will have many more of the mundane daily interactions than they will of the fun loving, building a bond interactions. The first step to changing it is to recognize it.

You can strengthen your bond with your partner by putting some relationship fun back into your everyday lives. It's not a hard thing to do and you'll both feel better about yourselves, about each other, and about your relationship...what could be better?

Do You Need Counseling

Relationship Counseling Advice

He said. She said. Pretty soon, what either of you said doesn’t matter because all you are doing is fighting. When should you go get relationship counseling?

Relationship counseling is the term for going to a therapist as a couple to work out differences. You can go to a counselor when you are having difficulties in your relationship that might cause you to break up or when you are ready to take the relationship to a new level.

Relationship counseling helps you to open up new lines of communication. The therapist can help you by posing questions, pointing out contradictions, and helping you stay civil as you work out your differences.

Relationships are about compromise, but compromise is difficult. Relationship counseling can be helpful in working out these important compromises that will make your relationship work.

Relationship counseling only works if both parties are willing and able to commit to it. If your motivation is not sincere, you are not likely to get much out of it. While the skill of the therapist is an important factor in determining how successful the counseling is, even the most skilled therapist cannot work miracles with couples who are not thoroughly engaged in the counseling process.

Here is a brief summary of how to get the most out of relationship therapy.

1.) Acknowledge there is a problem. Until both parties are willing to state that there is a problem and that they have the willingness to work at resolving the problem, there is no hope for relationship therapy to succeed.

2.) Be prepared to realize that you are part of the reason there is a problem. Too many times, one partner wants to go into counseling because they perceive that the other partner has a problem. But a relationship is a two way street. Unless you are willing to find out that you have contributed to the problem in big ways and small, you will not have a good therapeutic experience.

3.) Be willing to change. Acknowledging that you are part of the problem isn’t on its face enough. You have to be willing to grow and change. The therapist can help you realize how to change, but you have to be willing to do the hard work of implementing the change.

4.) Don’t expect the therapist to be a magician. Your therapist can’t waive a magic wand and “fix” your relationship. Counseling is a mechanism for you to solve your problems, but it only works if you work. That is, it is a means for you to do the hard work in your relationship. If you come into relationship counseling with unrealistic expectations, you are bound to be dissatisfied with the results.

5.) Know that it takes time. You won’t solve your relationship problems in one session or even five. You have to commit to making counseling work for you, even if it means going for a fair amount of time.

Relationship counseling is a commitment of time, money, and emotional energy. If your relationship is worth saving, relationship counseling may be the answer for you.

One Night Stands with Women

Not All Men are After a One Night Stand

But all the men who make a move to contact a strange girl (in a public place) are not after one night stands, as you, the reader, may not be. With many men the main idea is to meet an exciting new girl. What develops out of the meeting, they can't predict. But it might end up being a meaningful relationship.

Still other men are just being friendly, with no immediate intentions further than that.

These differing objectives of other men make your pick-up attempt less obvious. When you are approaching a strange girl, whatever your intentions may be, any person watching, or the girl herself, really does not know what your intentions are. They cannot know if you are interested in getting her to bed. Not for sure anyhow. You can make your intentions known to the girl when you choose. This takes a lot of pressure off of you. You are not appearing in public, proclaiming to everyone that you are out looking for sex. You are simply a friendly, courteous individual saying "Hello" to a girl.

Relationship Advice on Cheaters

Relationship Advice

Relationship Break Up Advice - How To Save Your Relationship Or Move On

Are you looking for relationship breakup advice? Then you're probably feeling as though this is one of the lowest points in your life. Now that may very well be true, but however badly you're feeling right now, this feeling will pass! You will get through this!

What you do now, depends on the outcome you're looking for. If you're ready for the relationship to be over and have no interest in trying to save the relationship, then then you will go one way. If on the other hand you're looking for a way to save your relationship, then you will need a whole different set of tips and strategies to make this happen.

Relationship breakup advice for those who want to save their relationship is based on how you handle yourself in the run-up to the breakup and immediately after the breakup. If you are at the point in your relationship where your partner has just announced they want to end the relationship, then my advice to you is to agree to the breakup. Your biggest mistake would be to try and persuade your ex to stay in the relationship and not to leave you.

Agree to the breakup, let your ex go and wish them well. Your plan now is to get yourself together. Yes you're devastated that the one you love has walked out, but you have to find a way to deal with that devastation and to deal with it in a way that will help you rekindle your relationship in the future.

So spend some time coming to terms with what has happened in the relationship. You need to do this on your own, without your ex. Make no attempt to contact your ex, instead find your friends and your family and let them help you through this upsetting time.

What you can also do is to make peace with yourself. We all make mistakes and depending on the level of your mistake, it is forgivable! So don't spend the next few weeks beating yourself up. When it comes to contacting your ex in a few weeks, you need to be emotionally sound and appealing to pull off the reconciliation.

If you have no interest in rekindling the relationship, then the relationship breakup advice you're looking for is about finding strategies about how to cope with the trauma. You need to be able to move on with your life, so above all, give yourself time. Treat the ending of the relationship almost like a death.

It really doesn't matter whether you wanted the relationship to end or not. The point is it has ended and there was a time when you had real hopes for the relationship. Acknowledge that and acknowledge your disappointment that it has ended and you'll come through this in time.

Relationship Advice on Break Ups

Relationship Advice

Relationship Break Up Advice - How To Save Your Relationship Or Move On

Are you looking for relationship breakup advice? Then you're probably feeling as though this is one of the lowest points in your life. Now that may very well be true, but however badly you're feeling right now, this feeling will pass! You will get through this!

What you do now, depends on the outcome you're looking for. If you're ready for the relationship to be over and have no interest in trying to save the relationship, then then you will go one way. If on the other hand you're looking for a way to save your relationship, then you will need a whole different set of tips and strategies to make this happen.

Relationship breakup advice for those who want to save their relationship is based on how you handle yourself in the run-up to the breakup and immediately after the breakup. If you are at the point in your relationship where your partner has just announced they want to end the relationship, then my advice to you is to agree to the breakup. Your biggest mistake would be to try and persuade your ex to stay in the relationship and not to leave you.

Agree to the breakup, let your ex go and wish them well. Your plan now is to get yourself together. Yes you're devastated that the one you love has walked out, but you have to find a way to deal with that devastation and to deal with it in a way that will help you rekindle your relationship in the future.

So spend some time coming to terms with what has happened in the relationship. You need to do this on your own, without your ex. Make no attempt to contact your ex, instead find your friends and your family and let them help you through this upsetting time.

What you can also do is to make peace with yourself. We all make mistakes and depending on the level of your mistake, it is forgivable! So don't spend the next few weeks beating yourself up. When it comes to contacting your ex in a few weeks, you need to be emotionally sound and appealing to pull off the reconciliation.

If you have no interest in rekindling the relationship, then the relationship breakup advice you're looking for is about finding strategies about how to cope with the trauma. You need to be able to move on with your life, so above all, give yourself time. Treat the ending of the relationship almost like a death.

It really doesn't matter whether you wanted the relationship to end or not. The point is it has ended and there was a time when you had real hopes for the relationship. Acknowledge that and acknowledge your disappointment that it has ended and you'll come through this in time.

Relationship Advice Online

Relationship Advice Online

Most of us at one point or another in our lives will find ourselves in a difficult spot in our relationship. It can be tough to know which way to turn. There is help though, seeking out relationship advice online is one way to go.

For most people when faced with a crisis, of any kind, the first thing they do is talk things over with family or friends. And often, that's all it takes. Usually our problems aren't so in depth that it takes much more than a shoulder to cry on and a little tlc.

Sometimes, however, our problems go much deeper and not only do we need good advice, we need good un-biased advice, and that is something you can not go to your family and friends for. They will have their opinion sure, but it won't be unbiased. More than likely they will take your side in most everything...even if you're the one who is wrong.

If you're trying to salvage a relationship, that is not what you need. You need an objective person to tell you the truth, even the things you may not want to really hear. The painful truths, often the ones we run away from, are usually just what we need to hear.

Hiring a professional counselor or therapist can be a good way to go too. But before you do, keep a few things in mind. Therapists are just like any other group of professionals, some are better than others.

You should be particularly careful when choosing a faith based counselor. Why? Because sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes they will encourage you to stay in your relationship at all costs. They may be more concerned with their own religious beliefs and their bias against getting a divorce than they are for your well being and happiness. And the really bad part is they may not even realize they are doing it.

Now, I want to be clear. Using a faith based counseling service isn't a bad idea, just remember that everyone has an opinion, even non faith based therapists will have their own opinions, just make sure whatever therapist you see isn't blinded by their own opinion to the detriment of helping you figure out the best course of action for you.

And, last but not least, you can always use the enormous resources of the internet to help with your relationship questions. You could find forums, chat rooms, blogs, etc on relationships and relationship advice.

As with any other type of counseling just make sure you take everything with a grain of salt. Using online resources can be easier for some people since many people have a hard time opening up about personal issues face to face.

It can sometimes be easier to 'spill your guts' anonymously online. That can be a huge benefit since total honesty will be necessary to make the necessary changes in your life and to help you in your relationship.

So, if you're facing issues in your relationship and you want to get help just remember that you don't have to rely only on the 'traditional' offline methods. There is plenty of very good relationship advice online that can help you sort out all of your relationship issues.