How to Keep the Fires Burning in a Relationship

Relationship Article Pointers To Keep Love Burning

In this relationship article I'm going to give you some pointers, that if followed, could help you keep your relationship strong and loving. I will include a list of three things you can do that will make your partner feel loved and respected.

One word of caution though: while this list focuses on how you can treat your partner, it's also vitally important that your partner does the same things for you. I'm not encouraging a one sided relationship. Those never work, or at least they don't work from the standpoint that one partner isn't getting their needs met so the relationship isn't a healthy one.

In a strong healthy relationship both partners should be getting the majority of their needs met. They should feel love, respect, friendship, understanding, and desire coming from their partner. They should be giving those same things back too.

So before you plow into the list I want you to take some time to evaluate who you are as a person. Make sure that you are able to give and take equally. This is so important because in most relationships one person is the primary giver and one person is the primary taker. That is not good. Ideally both parties should be fairly close to a 50/50 split between what they give and what they take. That's what I want you to strive for.

Don't be the one who does all the giving, or most of it. And don't be the one who does all the taking, or most of it. Try to balance yourself and encourage your partner to do the same. OK, now on to the list:

1. Ultimately we all want to feel like our partner actually likes us. So make sure you take time to have fun with your partner. Share your day with them. Tell them the good things, and the bad things. Have some laughs together.

2. Help build your partner up. You don't have to lie...if they ask you if they've gained weight, and they have, you don't have to say 'no' but you could say that they look good to you. (by the way, never ask a loaded, stupid, question like 'do I look fat in this"? No good can ever come of it!)

3. Too many relationships lose physical intimacy, and I don't just mean sex. When you and your partner were dating you most likely held hands, rubbed each other's hands or backs, basically you couldn't keep your hands off of each other. You just had to be close and touching as much as possible. Don't let that slip away. Never underestimate the power of a gentle touch and other physical contact.

And while sex is important, don't let all your physical contact become only sexual in nature. You should always enjoy touching your partners cheek or sneaking up behind them and putting your arms around them for a hug.

I know that if you use some of the ideas I've given you in this relationship article that you can be one step closer to maintaining a strong loving relationship with your partner. Just try to maintain some of the wonder, and love you had for your partner when you first met. By doing that you have a much better chance of keeping your relationship strong and happy for your whole life.

Getting Relationship Advice Online

Relationship Advice Online

Most of us at one point or another in our lives will find ourselves in a difficult spot in our relationship. It can be tough to know which way to turn. There is help though, seeking out relationship advice online is one way to go.

For most people when faced with a crisis, of any kind, the first thing they do is talk things over with family or friends. And often, that's all it takes. Usually our problems aren't so in depth that it takes much more than a shoulder to cry on and a little tlc.

Sometimes, however, our problems go much deeper and not only do we need good advice, we need good un-biased advice, and that is something you can not go to your family and friends for. They will have their opinion sure, but it won't be unbiased. More than likely they will take your side in most everything...even if you're the one who is wrong.

If you're trying to salvage a relationship, that is not what you need. You need an objective person to tell you the truth, even the things you may not want to really hear. The painful truths, often the ones we run away from, are usually just what we need to hear.

Hiring a professional counselor or therapist can be a good way to go too. But before you do, keep a few things in mind. Therapists are just like any other group of professionals, some are better than others.

You should be particularly careful when choosing a faith based counselor. Why? Because sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes they will encourage you to stay in your relationship at all costs. They may be more concerned with their own religious beliefs and their bias against getting a divorce than they are for your well being and happiness. And the really bad part is they may not even realize they are doing it.

Now, I want to be clear. Using a faith based counseling service isn't a bad idea, just remember that everyone has an opinion, even non faith based therapists will have their own opinions, just make sure whatever therapist you see isn't blinded by their own opinion to the detriment of helping you figure out the best course of action for you.

And, last but not least, you can always use the enormous resources of the internet to help with your relationship questions. You could find forums, chat rooms, blogs, etc on relationships and relationship advice.

As with any other type of counseling just make sure you take everything with a grain of salt. Using online resources can be easier for some people since many people have a hard time opening up about personal issues face to face.

It can sometimes be easier to 'spill your guts' anonymously online. That can be a huge benefit since total honesty will be necessary to make the necessary changes in your life and to help you in your relationship.

So, if you're facing issues in your relationship and you want to get help just remember that you don't have to rely only on the 'traditional' offline methods. There is plenty of very good relationship advice online that can help you sort out all of your relationship issues.

Saving a Relationship After You Catch Them Cheating

Simple Tips To Help You - Save Your Relationship After Infidelity

If you are trying to save your relationship after infidelity and wondering where to turn, then the good news, amongst the doom and gloom you're currently feeling, is that there is hope.

What you have to do first of all is make sure that you are serious about wanting to save your relationship. There is very little point in trying to save the relationship if you are not fully committed to what you are about to undertake.

Now, after infidelity a relationship is in a very fragile state. Trust has been broken and betrayal is often all that the wounded spouse can think about. If you are the spouse who has strayed and betrayed your spouse, then get ready to do some serious making up.

Obviously you will have to start by ending your affair. Once you have ended the affair and broken off all contact with your lover, then you have to convince your spouse that you have done this and done this once and for all. There really is no point attempting this reconciliation if you are still seeing your lover or still in contact with them.

Take some time thinking about what caused you to have the affair in the first place. Very rarely is it about wanting to sleep with someone else. Usually it's about an emotional need that was not being met in the relationship. Figure out what you were missing and sit down with your spouse and explain it to them.

Whatever you do don't make your spouse think or feel that whatever you were missing was because they weren't providing it. You have to take full responsibility for your mistakes and you have to do so in a constructive way.

After infidelity, you are going to have to work at getting back your spouse's trust. Now this will not happen over night, so don't get frustrated and angry if you feel you're being made to jump through hoops to win back your spouse's trust. When you first met and dated your spouse, trust didn't just appear on the first date, the first week or month. No, it took time to time to build and grow and now that you have severely damaged that trust, it will once again take time to return. So you're going to have to be very patient.

Make sure that after the infidelity, if the two of you feel that you need to seek outside expert help that you do so. There is no point in you both wanting to save the relationship, but neither of you have any clue about how to go about this and then not seeking help. You will do yourselves a great disservice if you decide to soldier on without help.

Relationships can be saved after infidelity has happened. The key though, is that one or both of you truly want to save the relationship.

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What to Do When You Have Success Using the Personals

The Personals For Seniors Worked - Now What

Most people have seen personals for seniors in a newspaper or magazine, but they rarely stop to think about whether they would use them. They are less likely to think about what would happen if they do work and result in contact with a prospective partner.

People post personals for seniors as a way of meeting new friends and potentially a new partner. There are many ways to meet new dates and personals is just one of them.

Senior citizens could also try

1) Senior dining club

2) Speed dating for seniors

3) Themed Single Senior Nights.

4) Senior dating group

5) Senior online dating service

6) Family and Friends

7) Introduction agencies or old style matchmakers.

In short, there are a number of ways you can use to find your new partner. So you have placed a personal ad, they have replied. Now what?

Do you initiate the first meeting? Well, I would suggest that you leave that to the man but then I have been told I am old fashioned. But most men of a certain age were brought up to believe it was the man's job to ask the lady out so now would not be a good time to test that theory. So if in doubt, let him do the asking.

Don't take offence if he asks you out for a drink rather than a date. If you have ever seen a Hugh Grant film, you will know that a lot of men see a huge difference between the two. Go for the drink and see where it leads.

Where do you meet? I would avoid a movie on the first couple of dates. You can't get to know someone if you are watching a movie, theater or concert. That can come later. For now, a quiet little restaurant or coffee house would fit the bill nicely.

I would suggest that you go somewhere you feel comfortable. In fact, if you are woman meeting a man for the first time, I would only go somewhere I was known for safety reasons. You can try out new venues later. For now, you will be nervous enough without worrying about whether you will get lost/abducted/arrive late etc.

If you cant think of anything to say, it is probably nerves and chances are he has them too. So it is fine to admit that you are nervous. It may actually put him more at ease. Try and keep the conversation light - talk about a book you have read, or a film you have seen. Encourage him to talk too by asking gentle questions.

Leave all emotional and financial issues at the front door of the restaurant/coffee shop and collect on your way out. Even if you hit it off, now is not the time to discuss your overbearing mother, unfaithful husband or drug addicted daughter.

I always try and finish the first date. Why? Well, mum always said that you became more attractive as you became more unavailable. Two, it can be unusual for a woman to make this move so you will help him to remember your date.

Now you know to make the most of personals for seniors.

If You Break Up Should You Get Back Together

Should You Break Up And Get Back Together

A friend of mine recently broke up with her boyfriend, but started having second thoughts about the breakup. She asked me if I thought they could break up and get back together. I told her that I thought it depended on a few things:

You often hear people say that relationships take work, and that is true, to a point. The reality is that many of us close our eyes when entering into a relationship. We totally ignore all warning signs that this just isn't going to work out, and we often cling to the sinking ship long after we should have jumped overboard.

A good relationship with someone you are compatible with will take work, but not as much as if you try to force something with someone you simply aren't compatible with.

You can't fit a square peg in a round hole and that's what many people try to do with their relationships. They know deep inside that this person isn't right for them but for some reason they feel the need to hold on tightly. Maybe it's the fear of starting over or being alone, but in the long run you risk being miserable instead of being happy with the right person.

So to answer the question of getting back together after a breakup you have to be honest with yourself about the reason you broke up.

Most often when a couple breaks up it's because things have gone so far that it's difficult, or impossible, to fix. If you could identify a problem and fix it right away before the resentments and anger grows you'd have a better chance of saving the relationship .

Most people are in denial and don't want to rock the boat so they ignore the small problems and before they know it those small problems have grown into huge problems, and by then it's usually too late.

If you've broken up over small generally insignificant differences and you're both mature enough and willing to openly discuss the issues then yes, by all means, get back together.

But if the problems have grown too big and the resentments have gone too deep then it's probably best not to break up and get back together. Just learn from your mistakes and move on. As painful as this might be in the long run it will be less painful than staying in a bad relationship.

3-28-99 Newsletter -Where and How to Meet Single Women, Personals

3 Things to Help You Survive a Break Up

Surviving A Breakup - 3 Things To Help

Surviving a breakup can feel impossible, especially if you didn’t really want the relationship to end. But even if you were the one who decided it was over, it can feel crummy to have such an important part of your life end. There are three important things you can to help with surviving a breakup.

First, let yourself be sad. It’s natural to not want to feel sad. None of us likes to be upset or depressed. But when a relationship ends, no matter who ended it, you lose a part of your life. If you haven’t been dating long, the sad period probably won’t last that long. But for a long-term relationship, you might be sad for a long time.

It’s important, as painful as it is, to allow yourself to feel that way. The tendency is to avoid those feelings and try to move on to something that feels better. But being sad is a necessary step in the healing process.

Letting yourself feel the sadness will let you deal with the emotions and the pain. Remember that surviving a breakup is more than just moving on. If you can deal with the bad feelings, you’ll be better to able to experience the good feelings that come when you’ve moved on.

Second, keep busy. You have to deal with the sadness and not deny it or push it aside, but that doesn’t mean you can or should let yourself wallow in it. If you feel like spending the entire day in bed crying, you can let yourself do that. But the next day, even if you feel that way again, make yourself do something else.

Let yourself cry for an hour, and then find an activity to help distract you. Even if it’s only watching a movie, at least you’ll be able to concentrate on something else for brief periods of time.

Keep in mind that no matter how “active” your activity might be, sad thoughts and memories will still creep in. Even if you’re solving a hard puzzle and concentrating to distract yourself, now and then a memory will pop up and your mind will be back on the breakup. This is normal.

You just have to deal with the feeling briefly and not let it sidetrack you. Feel it, cry for a bit if you need to, and then keep concentrating on your activity. Soon, the sad thoughts and feelings will pop up less and less when you’re doing other things.

Finally, decide to forgive your ex. Surviving a breakup isn’t just about leaving one relationship and looking for another.

You need to resolve things in the old relationship to help you be more emotionally healthy in the next relationship. If you were hurt in the relationship, forgive your ex for his or her part in that.

This might seem an impossible task. Start by realizing that it really does take two, and that surviving a breakup is more important than having someone to blame for it.