Perfect Relationships Do Not Exist

Perfect Relationships - Is There Any Such Animal

Don't hold out for perfect relationships because you'll only be disappointed. So many people sabotage their chances at love because they place their loved one and/or their relationship on a pedestal.

Until you change your definition of what perfect is you are doomed to failure again and again. You will also cause yourself and anyone you enter into a relationship with, a lot of pain.

No one is perfect, but someone can be perfect for you. There is a difference. The sooner you can make that distinction the sooner you'll have a real shot at having a great, loving relationship.

To get a better idea of what someone who is perfect for you would like, I've compiled a list of some of the most commonly desired traits in a partner. Of course your ideas could be different but these traits are fairly common and they provide a good place to start in examining what you consider perfect.

1.Understanding:

People are comfortable with someone who 'gets' them. If you sing in the shower, like weird food combination's, or just like to act goofy sometimes, you'll want a partner who can play along with you.

Everyone has their own little quirks and your perfect partner will, at the minimum, accept those quirks without making fun of you and at best will have the same or similar quirks. You won't want someone who will roll their eyes or ridicule you whenever you do these things. They should love you, and accept you, just as you are.

2. Good self esteem:

One of the biggest problems I see in relationships is when one party is insecure. This insecurity is often hidden and it can come across as many other things. Very often someone who is overly sexual or overly aggressive is actually just trying to compensate for and cover up a very strong sense of insecurity.

As you get to know someone keep a close eye out for their actions, this will tell you a lot. For example, how do they react when something embarrassing happens? Do they get angry, defensive? Do they lash out at you, this should be a huge, huge, red flag. Or do they laugh and shrug and go along with it good naturedly. If they do the latter it probably means that they are a secure confidant person, and that is a trait you want to look for in a partner.

3. Outlook:

Do they share similar views on things that are important to you? You don't have to agree on everything. It's possible some relationships can thrive even if both parties are very different in many of their views; though it will only work if both parties are mature and secure and don't feel threatened that the other one doesn't agree with them on various issues.

For the most part though, it will work better if you and your potential partner have a common ground on the main issues, your core beliefs. If you value honesty and fidelity, for example, you won't be happy with someone who lies and cheats.

Believe it or not, it's actually pretty easy to find perfect relationships, or at least perfect for you. The problem is that people see what they want to see and not what is really there. I know it can be hard, especially in the beginning, but it's important for the long term health and happiness of the relationship that you take off the blinders and see your partner as they really are, not as you want them to be.

Relationships Struggles and How to Deal with Them

Relationship Struggles Can Be Overcome

There are often situations where a relationship has its ups and downs. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. Every relationship will have rough patches now and then. The thing that determines how a relationship fairs through these struggles is how the struggles and roadblocks are handled. If you know what to do and the best way to go about dealing with things, you are much more likely to see your relationship blossom and continue to grow.

Communication is the key to any and all relationships. If you are not able to communicate effectively with your partner, you are not going to get anywhere. Communication lays the foundation for the rest of the relationship. The first thing that you do when you meet someone is have a conversation. It may be very short at first and very basic. There may be very few words spoken. However, you are conversing with a person. This is the groundwork of any type of relationship.

Honesty is also paramount in any relationship. If you are not able to be honest with yourself and with your partner, you are destined to failure. It is a sure bet that lies and deceit will ruin any chance at a healthy relationship. Your partner is supposed to be the closest person to you. They are the other half of your life. They are what make you whole. If you cannot be honest with each other and open, you should not even enter into a relationship.

Finances are a major source of discontent within a relationship. Most problems that come about and most arguments are centered on financial problems. People begin to struggle to make ends meet. If they have been in a relationship for a long time, the arguments and struggles can be worse.

Most new relationships find the people walking on eggshells. They do not want to upset their partner and they do not want to risk doing anything to make them mad. Therefore, they will avoid conflict and will not talk about concerns or issues that are creating problems for them.

However, as relationships continue on, this newness wears off. The couple begins to realize that they are going to have to discuss their issues and problems with each other. They have to work together and find solutions. It is not a situation where one person is responsible for all of the problems and all of the aspects within the relationship and the other person is just there. They have to work together. Relationships are 50/50. They are give and take. You cannot have an effective relationship if one person is trying to do everything.

If you are able to work together and communicate in a relationship, you will be able to handle nearly any situation that arises. You are capable of working together and dealing with your problems. There is no need to end a relationship when you are able to improve it and make it work. Some of the most lasting relationships have had many problems and struggles along the way. However, they have been able to work through things and stay together through it all.

Relationships Site are Not Always Helpful

Relationship Sites: Use Your Head And Heart

I believe that in some ways the internet has created problems for us as a society. Why? Because there is too much information and we don't know where to start? No. I believe it's a problem because we tend to rely too heavily on the information we get online. We stop using our own heads and hearts. Using online relationship sites to get advice about your relationship isn't a bad thing...as long as you never stop using your own head.

Everyone has an opinion. Some of them make sense, though you may not agree with them, and some just sound completely stupid. Sometimes I worry that with so many opinions floating around we forget to consider our own opinion. So before you start using online sties, this is my word of caution to you: not everyone who claims to be an 'expert' really is.

Not every 'expert' can possibly know everything about their chosen subject. The important thing for you to remember is to get various opinions, but at the end of the day stop, take some time and listen to what your head and heart are telling you. If you listen to yourself, honestly, you will hardly ever make a mistake.

There are many sites online that will have advice on relationships or even give you the opportunity to meet the person of your dreams.

If you want to find some help on your relationship issues you may want to do a search for forums on relationships. Find some and take a little time to 'lurk' in the forum without leaving a comment. Just get a feel for the type of people and topics discussed at the forum. If you like what you see you may want to start interacting by posing your question.

A lot of people will actually find it easier to open up online because of the anonymity they have. No one knows who you so it can sometimes be easier to open up about certain subjects. If that's the case for you than by all means, use a forum to provide you with the help you need. Just remember what I said above about using your own common sense.

Online chat rooms can be another resource that may be able to help you out. Here you will have real time conversations with other members. Just like with the forums you can still be completely anonymous if you choose. You can even make 'friends' in a chat room.

Of course, you do have to be careful since you don't really know who you're talking to. That middle aged woman from Tennessee could actually be a middle aged man from Chicago. Just make sure you don't give out any details that someone could use to locate you in real life.

But if you feel like the information and advice they are giving you makes sense, than by all means use it. One of the great things about these types of sites is that everyone has their own experiences to share. The odds of you finding someone who is in the same situation as you, or better yet, has overcome the same situation that you are currently in and can provide some real answers, is much better when you have dozens or even hundreds of people right there in the chat room.

There are all kinds of relationship sites online and they may be able to help you with whatever you're dealing with. Just remember to always use your own head, heart, and opinion first and you'll be fine.

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How to Improve Your Relationship Advice for Couples

Relationship Couples

I'm not that old, so I don't know for sure, but it seems like these days we make everything so much more complicated than it needs to be. That is especially true when it comes to relationship couples seem to find it so hard to figure out the problem and many times the problem is a small and simple thing.

One analogy I often use is that of a stone wall. Think of your relationship. Every time you do or say something that hurts or annoys your partner, it's like adding another stone to the wall. A couple stones here and a few stones there don't matter all that much, you can still easily step over the wall to be close to your partner.

And, if you apologize, and make permanent changes, to the behaviors that caused your partner pain or annoyance, you can even remove a stone sometimes.

But if you do like most couples do, and you continue to add stones after stones after stones, and you don't remove any, you will find it virtually impossible to connect with your partner. By that point it will be very difficult and maybe even impossible to tear down the wall and have a meaningful relationship with your partner.

The trick is to make sure your wall never gets too high. How? Easy, talk. Just talk, don't yell, don't shout, don't accuse...talk.

It's very important each person in the relationship remembers that the other person has feelings too. When you are hurt and upset it's very easy to make everything all about 'you'. That won't work.

If you take the time to realize that your partner has their point of view and remember, this has absolutely nothing to do with right and wrong, it's simply about recognizing that each person has their own view of what has happened and you need to let them express that view without getting defensive or upset, you might actually find that you are on the same page...just a different sentence!

I've had that very same experience. My spouse and I had very heated discussions but once we calmed down and actually talked, and listened, we realized though we were saying it in different ways we were both saying basically the same thing!

Once you come to that place it will help you take a stone out of your wall and it can also help you in the future if you can remember that you and your partner probably aren't all that far off from each other, you're just expressing yourselves differently.

For the most part no matter what your age, gender, religious, or sexual preferences, everyone wants to feel love, respected, appreciated, and understood. You want that and so does your partner, when it comes to relationship couples will be much better off if they never lose sight of that. If you try to deal with your partner with those things in mind, and they do the same for you, your relationship will be much smoother, and there will be a lot fewer stones in your wall.

Should You Stay or Go - Cheating Advice

Relationship Cheating Should I Stay Or Go

Getting over relationship cheating, while not impossible, will be very difficult, the first thing you need to do is determine why the infidelity happened in the first place and whether or not it's likely to only be a one time thing. If the answer to that question is 'no' than it's probably time to move on and end the relationship.

If you're involved with someone who is a 'serial' cheater, they will never change. It's best to make a break right now before you get even more hurt. If, on the other hand, your partner has always been committed and faithful and only strayed because of some extenuating circumstances, you may have a chance of making your relationship work...if they want to work on it too.

It's important for you to realize though, that even if you are both totally committed to making the relationship work it will still be an uphill climb. It's just not that easy to learn to trust someone after they've betrayed you, even if you really want to.

And if the person who cheated isn't 100% committed to addressing the issues that led to the cheating and willing to work on fixing them, the relationship is dead. One partner can't do all the work to fix the relationship, it has to be a joint effort or it will fail.

Most couples will need to rely on an objective third party for help, such as a counselor or clergy. There are a lot of intense emotions to sort through and having an objective bystander who can 'referee' and keep each party on track and not let it dissolve into a shouting match, can go a long way to finding a resolution and possibly even salvaging the relationship.

Sometimes the relationship simply can't be, or shouldn't be, saved. Many times people get together for the wrong reasons such as loneliness or the need to feel secure. When that is the basis of a relationship instead of love, friendship, and respect, it's going to be virtually impossible to save it after an infidelity. If this is the situation a counselor can also be helpful in helping both parties find closure, heal and move on.

If you find that you tend to get into a lot of relationships with the wrong types of people, a counselor can also help you figure out why you have the tendency to be self destructive. Whether or not people want to admit it, any time they find themselves involved with the wrong person it's almost always apparent very early in the relationship that the two of them simply aren't that compatible.

Most people will ignore these warning signs and then act surprised later when things fall apart. If you can avoid these types of relationships in the first place, you'll save yourself a lot of heartache in the long run.

Overcoming relationship cheating is possible, as long as both parties are really willing to work on it. Just remember to always be honest about the overall worth of the relationship and whether or not it really is something that should be salvaged or not.

How to Keep the Fires Burning in a Relationship

Relationship Article Pointers To Keep Love Burning

In this relationship article I'm going to give you some pointers, that if followed, could help you keep your relationship strong and loving. I will include a list of three things you can do that will make your partner feel loved and respected.

One word of caution though: while this list focuses on how you can treat your partner, it's also vitally important that your partner does the same things for you. I'm not encouraging a one sided relationship. Those never work, or at least they don't work from the standpoint that one partner isn't getting their needs met so the relationship isn't a healthy one.

In a strong healthy relationship both partners should be getting the majority of their needs met. They should feel love, respect, friendship, understanding, and desire coming from their partner. They should be giving those same things back too.

So before you plow into the list I want you to take some time to evaluate who you are as a person. Make sure that you are able to give and take equally. This is so important because in most relationships one person is the primary giver and one person is the primary taker. That is not good. Ideally both parties should be fairly close to a 50/50 split between what they give and what they take. That's what I want you to strive for.

Don't be the one who does all the giving, or most of it. And don't be the one who does all the taking, or most of it. Try to balance yourself and encourage your partner to do the same. OK, now on to the list:

1. Ultimately we all want to feel like our partner actually likes us. So make sure you take time to have fun with your partner. Share your day with them. Tell them the good things, and the bad things. Have some laughs together.

2. Help build your partner up. You don't have to lie...if they ask you if they've gained weight, and they have, you don't have to say 'no' but you could say that they look good to you. (by the way, never ask a loaded, stupid, question like 'do I look fat in this"? No good can ever come of it!)

3. Too many relationships lose physical intimacy, and I don't just mean sex. When you and your partner were dating you most likely held hands, rubbed each other's hands or backs, basically you couldn't keep your hands off of each other. You just had to be close and touching as much as possible. Don't let that slip away. Never underestimate the power of a gentle touch and other physical contact.

And while sex is important, don't let all your physical contact become only sexual in nature. You should always enjoy touching your partners cheek or sneaking up behind them and putting your arms around them for a hug.

I know that if you use some of the ideas I've given you in this relationship article that you can be one step closer to maintaining a strong loving relationship with your partner. Just try to maintain some of the wonder, and love you had for your partner when you first met. By doing that you have a much better chance of keeping your relationship strong and happy for your whole life.