Although you may not want to hear this, a love that has been lost is usually not worth the effort to regain. One reason for this is that the individual himself, after finally regaining the love, finds his own love has to a degree waned or atrophied in the meantime. This peculiar situation is no doubt due to the fact that one is inclined to think, at the time, that he cares more for the one whose love he has lost than he actually does. Once given a chance to pause and catch up, to cast sentiment aside and reason the matter out in a common sense way, he begins to realize the unfairness and perhaps the deceptions the lady in the case may have practiced; he begins to see her as she is, her faults and short-comings loom large before his eyes.
It must be remembered that even though a man may care ever so much for a woman, this does not give her the right to trample upon and to take advantage of the affection he has for her. In nine cases out of ten, were a man to wait a few weeks or a few months or even a year before trying to regain a woman's love, he would, during that time, find someone more worthy, more caring, more beautiful and more suited to him in every way.
Where a man does cast sentiment aside and in the light of clear reasoning finds that he actually wants and cares for a woman, he should still not permit himself to brood and become melancholy over the broken romance; instead he should mix with friends and go about as though he meant to forget the affair altogether. He should appear as
happy and light-hearted as possible, and in many cases these actions on the man's part will bring the woman to her senses, however, he should not rush to her the very moment she indicates he is the least bit welcome, but should continue to show considerable indifference.
Until a very definite understanding has been reached he should let himself appear in the position of man who is torn by conflicting desires and emotions, of wanting the woman's love and of also wanting to see the wide, wide world, other friends, other single women and other loves.
There are cases where a man loses the love a good, true woman through faults which are purely his own. Such cases usually demand from him a complete explanation or a sincere apology, depending upon the circumstances. If the explanation or apology offered is not at first accepted, try, try again. If you can convince a real woman that you love her with a love that is true, she is likely to forgive you for almost anything you may do; most good single women realize that humanity is weak and that some men are weaker, so they learn to forgive and forget.
In some of the most obstinate cases, where a lost love is worth the effort to regain, a man may leave the scene of the love affair for an indefinite period of time and his absence alone may cause the love of the woman to return. However, while away the man should not be too prompt in communicating and by no means should he apprise the lady of his doings; she should be kept in complete suspense or made to feel that considerable mystery surrounds him in his new location. This lack of information; of keeping her in suspense serves to hold her interest, and interest alone often leads to love.
While away the man should secretly strive to improve himself mentally, socially and physically. Through these improvements it is possible for one to improve themselves to the extent that they become a different person, a better man in every way. After you have obtained the desired results in the upbuilding of yourself, you may return to the old love as a new man, full of fire, ambition and determination, literally sweeping her off her feet. Although the foregoing may sound slightly ridiculous to you, it has been done time and time again.
It must be said that we are too often judged only by what we are, by what we have actually accomplished, and not by what we are striving to accomplish. Many people, especially women, are inclined to admire only the finished product and not the rough diamond while it is in the course of being polished.
Therefore, whatever one may do to improve his appearance, to advance himself socially and to broaden his mentality, he should do secretly and without appearing to do so. You cannot surprise people and dazzle them with your accomplishments if they have long known that you have been studying, striving and preparing with those very things as an objective. When one has cultivated himself to the highest degree of splendor, he should leave the impression that any good qualities he may have are merely a part of his nature and as such are of little importance's; he should let it be known that far higher things are his ultimate goal, and since most single women are prone to judge a man by comparison, they will in doing this discover that he is superior to others of their acquaintance.
Once a single woman has known the friendship of a man of taste and culture, she finds it quite impossible to reconcile herself to those who are inferior.
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