Men sometimes do pull off a "moving" pick-up, with just a few words like, "Hi! Do you want to go to a party?" and other similarly direct approaches. But we feel you will ruin a lot of good opportunities that way, even if you might be successful sometimes. But it is up to you, the reader, to decide. Maybe you want to try such direct approaches a few times and see how you do. At least it is very simple and easy to do. We think that the chance of success of a direct approach depends more on the appearance of the man than other approaches. If a girl is very impressed by a man's appearance, she may well go along with it. But if a man is more ordinary looking, she may not. Such a man would do better to build up his case more slowly, in the more conventional way.

Probably all of us have known some man who is an absolute natural at picking up girls. Maybe it is a combination of boyish good looks, disarming charm, quick wit and super confidence. But he can walk up to any girl and she will like him right away, almost instinctively. He can approach a girl and, with just a few words, take charge immediately - make a date with her, take her off to a party, or whatever. He has instant momentum. He is not apologetic, but rather, positive or even aggressive with his opening lines. Of course you envy him.

But don't try to copy him, unless you have the same attractive assets he has. You probably don't have, or you would be using them already.

People like that usually have been successful socially for a long time; that is why they seem so natural. Probably as a child they learned they had good looks and started learning how to use them to get the things they wanted. They were developing their charm. For you to try and learn to compete with that type of "class" would be like a middle-aged man saying, "I'm going to learn to play tennis, and beat John McEnroe." Hyping up your confidence is one thing, but overreaching and falling flat on your face only destroys confidence. Be realistic. Don't waste your time trying to be someone you can't be. Settle for a little slower (and surer) approach. Develop a style that can work for you first. You may be able to improve your methods later.