Once, a friend approached us for advice. He worked with a lot of girls and two of them acted quite friendly towards him. One of the girls was attractive; the other was in his word, "beautiful." He was attracted to both of them, but he wondered if he should make his play for the beauty or play it safe with the other. He was even a little afraid that the beauty was out of his league.
Our advice was that if he made his first play for the beauty he would lose in both cases. The beauty obviously gets many offers. By coming on to her he would only establish himself as being no different than anyone else, and he would get as far as anyone else - nowhere. If he then went for the less attractive girl after getting turned down by the beauty, she would be saying, "You come around now after striking out with her. No thanks." We told him to make his first play for the less attractive girl - ask her out, be friendly with her at work. Our prediction was that this would shock the beauty so much that she would start pursuing him.
Three weeks later we saw him. He was so excited that he could hardly talk. "It happened just the way you said.” He told us. He was now dating the beauty and she had admitted that what attracted her was that everyone else "comes on" to her, but he hadn't. Not only that, but she was very effected by the other girl being so attracted to him. She had gotten jealous, and went out to get him.
But actually this example gets a little ahead of ourselves. Most men don't have the problem of which two women to pick from. Surprisingly though, most men do have a problem in that they don't know how to pick a woman to pursue. Often, their choices of women is a cause of their failures. They are looking in the wrong places, picking the wrong women, and never even getting to first base. And this is a big problem that a lot of men are not even aware of.
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