Misconceived Beliefs
of Shy Men
If I Ask a Woman to Dance and She Turns Me Down or If I Talk to a Woman and She Ignores Me, It's Because
I'm Not Worthwhile or Good Enough For Her.
This
irrational belief causes shy men to fear approaching a woman and produces
low self-esteem when they are
rejected. This fear of being rejected and turned
down prevents shy men from making contact with women.
If you're turned
down for a dance, it doesn't mean that you're not worthwhile or
not good enough for her. She just may
not feel like dancing at the moment. She may just be tired. She may not even
dance. There can be a number of reasons.
So don't take it personally. However,
what to do in a case like this is to ask her, "Would you
like to dance later?" If she says yes,
just ask her again later. Even
better, just ask her, "Well, can I join you for some conversation?"
In the mean time just ask other women to
dance. Also, I might
add, a lot of guys get turned down
to dance, so
don't feel that you're the only
man in the world that happens to. It happens to all men, even real
good-looking men.
If you
approach a woman
and try to start up a con- sation
and she
ignores you, don't
take that personally either. She
just may not feel like talking
or being
bothered. Perhaps she's
tied down to a boyfriend
or even married. Also, you just
might not be using the proper social
skills. So if she ignores you, move on to the next woman and you'll find someone who will respond to
your advances.
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