Advice, Tips for Men on Meeting Women Online

Advice on Meeting Women Online

We've traded mail and talked on the phone and things are going really well!! What do I do when we meet??

First off, calm down. I've been through this and talked to others who've been through it, and the first, most important thing to remember is, don't go building up big hopes and dreams until you meet!

Until you actually meet someone, it's very easy to build up big fantasies in your head about how the person looks, stands, walks, etc. You can't help doing just a little of this, but try not to, and keep in mind that what you do visualize will probably be very different from reality.

It's also very easy to think you've fallen hard for someone you haven't even met. Don't do this! Meet first! Don't go thinking that just because you've exchanged a lot of email and talked on the phone that you've found your dream love. Most especially don't go throwing your heart in and confessing True Love until you've actually met.

Many online relationships happen very quickly and very fast, and it's easy to sucker the other person, or yourself, into believing you have something there that you don't. Take your time and realize that when you do meet, it may not be there for you, or it may not be there for the other person.

On the other hand, if you meet and things don't go well, I also advise not immediately giving up. Sometimes it takes time to adjust to meeting this person "in real life" that you've gotten to know so well in email. Remember that person you got to know online IS still in there, but may not be visible at first.

So again, what's the thing to have, everyone? That's it, you've got it: PATIENCE!

Okay, how do we plan a first meeting?

I recommend picking a safe, neutral spot, and just sitting down over coffee, or perhaps a light lunch at a casual restaurant. Emphasize that your first meeting will be for just that: meeting. Don't expect much more than that you'll sit down, get used to what the other person looks like, maybe have a bite to eat, then go home.

For guys, you may want to invite her to bring along a friend. This will make her feel safer. The point is, make it somewhere public, safe, and neutral, and done in such a way that either one of you can bow out gracefully if things aren't going well.

And if it doesn't work out, or the other person decides at the last minute not to meet you, hey, that's okay! It happens to practically everyone. And who on Earth said you're the perfect someone for everyone you meet anyway? Who said that everyone you meet is the perfect someone for you?

At minimum, you should have made a new friend this way; maybe more will develop, or maybe it won't. Stay calm, don't expect much, but be open to whatever might happen. And, enjoy your new friend!

This article is reprinted by permission and is Copyright 1995 and 1996 by Dean Esmay.