In a speculative approach you ask questions and expect the girl to give answers or discuss a subject. You are conveying the impression that you really are interested in finding out something and that was the reason you approached her. In some cases you appear serious in your interest. In others, your interest is not to be taken too seriously; it is merely a play to start a conversation and you expect her to recognize this.

Examples:

"What do you think of...?" (You are in a "waiting" situation with her. Any
good topic is suitable. It helps if you are reading a newspaper or magazine.)

"Well, what's new around here today?"

"Hey, you must be tired from walking around so much. Why not sit down for a spell and tell me what you've been up to?"

"Are you a dancer? You move like one." (Quizzical look while asking; but only use this if she, in fact, moves gracefully).

"Hey, where are you rushing off to?"

"I see you are a ..." (or "I see you have ...") Refer to some feature about her which should require some additional explanation from her. We have already mentioned the use of this type of line in a casual way. But in this situation we mean that you should use the line more as a question that really requires an answer.

Women, like diamonds, are where you find them. The most obvious place for a man to go when he wants to meet a woman is out to a single's bar. But our observations have shown us that it is a particular type of woman looking for a particular type of man at the bar scene. We have found that if you are not the "macho" type, then your chance of success at a singles bar is probably not going to be very high.

So where do you go to meet women? Everywhere else:

At work - If you are in school and are looking for a part time or summer job, choose jobs where you'll be around a lot of women. The insurance industry hires almost 95% women. Restaurants hire a lot of women. You will run into a lot of women working at a grocery store.

At school - Some academic majors attract many more women than other. Sociology, psychology, art, and the languages for example. A friend told us that since he was majoring in engineering. He never met girls at class, so each term he always took an easy course in psychology or sociology just to meet girls.

At play - Take up tennis, jogging, biking, join a health club or a hiking club, and frequent the local pool. It makes no difference what it is, as long as women do it too. Someone told us that he joined an exercise class and the odds were 23 women to 3 men.

At the store - Grocery shopping, at the book store, at the library, at the department store. In other words, everywhere you go should become an opportunity to meet women.

Be open and ready for anything. No matter where you are at work, at school, at play, the store, be at your best and ready to meet someone. Even if you are not particularly interested in a girl, if she notices you, respond, smile, and say, "Hi." If nothing else, it is good practice. Go thru the routine of meeting her and responding to her. 1) She may have friends 2) It's good practice and after all, realistically, every girl is practice, and 3) It is important to get used to what it is like to be found attractive in order to develop the perception to read women's signals.

Before you'll be meeting new topless dancers, take an inventory of the things that are important to you, and that you'd like to talk about. What are you excited about now? What changes are taking place in your life? What have been the most important events or people in your life? What future plans are you most enthusiastic about? Why do you feel the way you do about things? What are your concerns? What is your vision for the future? What are your likes and preferences?

The answers to these questions tell her how you relate to the world around you. Be specific, so that your conversational partner gets a lot of free information to pick up on. Communicate your enthusiasm. Disclose some of your feelings and values.

Another technique to use is what I call the old "air mattress technique." Here is how it works: Sit your ice chest on the edge of the pool to where you have access to it while laying on your air mattress.

Now, get on your air mattress with a can of beer or mixed drink in hand (I might add that it would be a good idea to try and keep your hair dry. This way you'll look more attractive. A person with wet hair is not very eye-appealing). Maneuver your air mattress around the pool and park it across from a female near the pool. Then just simply remark, "You sure are getting a nice tan today." This breaks the ice and then follow up with, "I've got an extra air mattress. Would you like to join me?"

This technique will really work for you successfully and I highly recommend that you try it. Also, if there are other females in the pool on air mattresses, pull up beside them and feed them the same opening lines.

A Casual Approach (Can Be Humorous)

This is the low-key approach. No need to apologize, no big deal. It should be used when some small amount of common experience has been established, such as when a girl smiles and gives some encouragement to you. Or when you are waiting together for something. Or, if you have a humorous observation to make to the girl about herself, you, or any situation nearby. It is also a good follow-up approach after a request for help.

Examples:

"Hey! Where're you going?" (Said in a teasing manner).

"Is it O.K. if we walk along together?"

"Say! If I bet someone that I could get you to stop and talk to me, would I lose my bet?"

"Now there's a pretty picture," (dramatically, referring to the girl).

"Do you mind if I ask you something?" (pause) "If I'm real nice, if I'm a perfect gentleman, would you let me walk along with you?" (Or sit with you).

"It looks like you are (or have) ..." (Then comment on some obvious thing about the girl in a casual way).

Any humorous opening line is effective in a casual situation. Joking references to shortcomings in public services, transportation systems or any other commonly known feature are ideal. A good joke about any subject will work. TV and radio are a good source for humorous material.

Once, a friend approached us for advice. He worked with a lot of girls and two of them acted quite friendly towards him. One of the girls was attractive; the other was in his word, "beautiful." He was attracted to both of them, but he wondered if he should make his play for the beauty or play it safe with the other. He was even a little afraid that the beauty was out of his league.

Our advice was that if he made his first play for the beauty he would lose in both cases. The beauty obviously gets many offers. By coming on to her he would only establish himself as being no different than anyone else, and he would get as far as anyone else - nowhere. If he then went for the less attractive girl after getting turned down by the beauty, she would be saying, "You come around now after striking out with her. No thanks." We told him to make his first play for the less attractive girl - ask her out, be friendly with her at work. Our prediction was that this would shock the beauty so much that she would start pursuing him.

Three weeks later we saw him. He was so excited that he could hardly talk. "It happened just the way you said.” He told us. He was now dating the beauty and she had admitted that what attracted her was that everyone else "comes on" to her, but he hadn't. Not only that, but she was very effected by the other girl being so attracted to him. She had gotten jealous, and went out to get him.

This is a great example of reading a situation and picking the right woman according to the odds of success, and not just by primeval instincts. Even if the beauty had not come around, he would have been successful with the other girl. She would be amazed because he had pursued her, and not the beauty like every other guy. One course of action was a no win situation, the other had higher odds of success with both girls.

But actually this example gets a little ahead of ourselves. Most men don't have the problem of which two women to pick from. Surprisingly though, most men do have a problem in that they don't know how to pick a woman to pursue. Often, their choices of women is a cause of their failures. They are looking in the wrong places, picking the wrong women, and never even getting to first base. And this is a big problem that a lot of men are not even aware of.

Ask Her Open-Ended Questions

Some questions require only a yes/no or other short answer. Those are called "closed-ended" questions. The topless dancer answers. Then, unless more information is volunteered, the conversation goes nowhere. Generally, you elicit more interesting responses with "open-ended" questions. These essay-type questions encourage her to reveal facts, opinions, feelings. Focus on open-ended questions, which often start with "How....?" "Why....?" and "What?" If you ask closed-ended questions, you can invite the person to elaborate by following with questions like: "In what way?" "For example?" "How do you mean?"

Open-ended questions that often lead to rich conversations include:

"How did you get into this field?"
"Why did you decide to move here?"
"What do you like to do on your days off?"