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Your Courage Is Impressive

In the FIRST PHASE of a pick-up, you are trying to impress the girl. To help your confidence and understanding of what is happening, remember that the very fact you are picking her up is very impressive to the girl. Girls admire courage in a man. They like a take-charge guy. You are showing a lot of guts by defying convention and trying to pick her up.

She will also feel very flattered that you have gone to this trouble to meet her. She will be pleased and thrilled by your attention, although she may not feel it is proper to show her pleasure or offer you encouragement right away.

If I Ask a Woman to Dance and She Turns Me Down or If I Talk to a Woman and She Ignores Me, It's Because I'm Not Worthwhile or Good Enough For Her.

This irrational belief causes shy men to fear approaching a woman and produces low self-esteem when they are rejected. This fear of being rejected and turned down prevents shy men from making contact with single women.

If you're turned down for a dance, it doesn't mean that you're not worthwhile or not good enough for her. She just may not feel like dancing at the moment. She may just be tired. She may not even dance. There can be a number of reasons. So don't take it personally. However, what to do in a case like this is to use this pick up line to ask her, "Would you like to dance later?" If she says yes, just ask her again later. Even better, just ask her, "Well, can I join you for some conversation?" In the mean time just ask other women to dance.

Also, I might add, a lot of guys get turned down to dance, so don't feel that you're the only man in the world that happens to. It happens to all men, even real good-looking men.

EXAMPLE #2 - Alan was attracted to a girl that worked at a store that the often went to. From her name tag, he knew her name was Elise. At first he would just maintain eye contact and smile at her as she worked the cash register and made change for his purchases. Her manner was very positive, and he was sure that she was interested in him, but he avoided any long conversations. He was always friendly and positive towards her, but the lack of conversation or "come on" kept her guessing.

One day, knowing that the store closed in an hour, he walked up to the counter and said, "Listen, some friends are coming over for dinner at my house. Would you like to join us?"

I don't even know your name!" was the reply.

"My name is Alan. Will you join us?"

She was shocked that she hesitated, but only for an instant. He gave her directions to his house, and then went home to call some friends to see if they wanted to come to dinner, so that his story would have credibility to Elise. The dinner went well. They got to know each other, and began dating.

Alan did many things right: 1) He kept her guessing about whether he was ever going to ask her out. 2) He asked her to come to a casual get-together on the spur of the moment. If she declined, it wouldn't have been as embarrassing as if he asked her out on a real date. 3) The dinner was a very casual affair giving both of them an ideal opportunity to meet and talk with no pressure. 4) He was able to portray himself as a fun-loving, spontaneous person who enjoys having people over for an evening of friendly talk and good food.

Give Her Your Own Information

It isn't enough to give her plenty of opportunities to talk by constantly asking questions. It can become draining to be asked question after question without learning anything about her and it can begin to feel like an interview. When you ask questions, include some information about yourself. Rather than asking, "Where were you brought up?" You might say, "I was born in Nevada but I lived in California from the time I was a year old until I went to college. Did you grow up on the West coast?"

This ensures that you will both get something out of the conversation, while you show your interest and make the person who is being asked questions more comfortable.

Make it a point to pick out a strip joint and go there regularly at the same time and the same day of the week. You will usually see the same topless dancers. You'll become a familiar face and become friends with all the dancers. There's a lot of competition sometimes among the dancers for the boyfriends of the other dancers. They will actually try to steal each others boyfriends away from each other. Wouldn't you like to have a bunch of pretty exotic dancers fighting over you? Talk about heaven!

A word about spending money. Don't throw it around trying to impress the women, especially if you can't afford it. They are use to this and it doesn't impress them that much. When they keep pressuring you for drinks and you want to stop buying them drinks, just explain to her that you know the ropes of his business and you'd rather spend your money on her away from the club. She will understand.

In conclusion, don't sit around and drool and stare at these women anymore. Make an effort to meet and attract these women. Don't beat around the bush with them. Just come right out and tell her that you want to see her when she's off work.

Don't Wait For Signs

This brings us to what I believe is the most important point in this book: IF YOU FIND A GIRL ATTRACTIVE, APPROACH HER AND TRY TO MEET HER. DO NOT BE INFLUENCED BY ANY ENCOURAGEMENT, OR LACK OF ENCOURAGEMENT, FROM HER BEFORE YOU APPROACH HER.

A great fallacy, shared by many men, is that the best pick-up method is to catch a girl's eye, smile and maybe say, "Hi." “Then, if she responds, to follow up and meet her. This does work, of course, and any time a girl gives you a "come on" whether you made any friendly gesture or not, you should follow through, if you find her attractive. But the big mistake is to assume that because she didn't return your smile, she will not be interested in you. As we have already explained, many girls (if not most) do not believe in smiling back at strangers. This is particularly true with very attractive girls. In the past they have probably been bothered a lot by all kinds of guys annoying them. So they adopt an unfriendly, aloof attitude in public which acts like a "hands-off' sign to keep off unwelcome attention. Nevertheless, they may still be available, and receptive, to a nice, friendly approach by an interesting man. So, to follow up only with girls who smile back is really quite foolish.