Avoiding the Stigma of Meeting Through a Personal Ad

Should You Tell People You Met Through the Personals?

A few years ago I was visiting my parents with a woman that I met through a personal ad. My mom asked us how we had met. She wasn't prying. She was just curious. Neither of us was embarrassed that we had met through the personal ads, but it hadn't occurred to me that my mom might ask that question or how surprised she would be when we told her that we met that way. People in their 70's, especially if they have been married for 50 years, sometimes don't realize how creative you need to be.

I also went out with a woman who said that her daughters did not know how we had met. She told me that she would kill me if I ever told them. I didn't tell them for fear that she wasn't kidding. I also didn't see her many more times.

If you feel that you need to make up a lie about how you met, make it a very simple lie. Coordinate your story and get the facts straight. "We met in a checkout line at the supermarket" is simple and hard to mess up, unless your mom wants to know what her son was buying and you say broccoli and chicken and she tells the truth, you were buying Twinkies and Nestle's Quik.

Advice About Married Women Using Personal Ads

How to Avoid People Who Are Married in Personal Ads

Married people do lie and use the personal ads. The anonymity of placing and answering personal ads is probably the biggest attraction for married people. It may have happened to me but I don't think so. If it did, I wasn't aware when it happened.

I wish that there was some advice that I could give you that would guarantee that you could avoid married people or those in committed in relationships. There just isn't any that I know of. If you have a theory or technique that has helped you spot married people in the past in other situations, use it.

Some married people will place a personal ad and admit in the ad that they are married and out for a few "thrills." Others plead that they just need some "understanding." Some ask to meet someone that is married. Consider the following ads:

WANTED: MARRIED WOMAN FOR discrete, romantic relationship. DWM, 29...been described as gorgeous.

"GOLF" Tall, dark, handsome married man, average golfer, seeks lady golfer to burn up the links.

Let your conscience (and common sense) be your guide if you choose to respond. I suspect that the golfer has a lot of trouble with his "putter" at home. I have seen very few ads by women that admitted that they were married. I do not have any idea if that is because married women are less likely to run ads or do not admit they are married in them.

Some publications that run personal ads have a section for married people with particular "hobbies." If you are married and you want to run an ad, I really think that you should say that you are married and put your ads in one of those sections if is available. I don't have any advice for those of you that are married and want to answer ads. This article is an excerpt from our book, "Effective Personal Ads - How to Write Personal Ads or Respond to Personal Ads."

How to Massage a Girl With Your Fingers

How to Seduce Girls Using Your Fingers

If your girl, however, is receptive to the idea of a massage then I have one key tip to offer you. When giving a massage, use the pads of your fingers, not the tips. When you use the tips of your fingers, it often feels like someone is clawing into your back, and it can hurt quite a bit, especially the muscles are really tense.

When you use the pads of your fingers, it feels much more soothing and relaxing.

But hey, if your girl is into that kind of pain, then dig in :-) Most of the girls I've been with tend to prefer the soothing kind of massage, and shy away from the painful variety.

When massaging a girl's neck or back try running your fingers through her hair, up the back of his scalp, along the sides of her head, to her temples, all the while gently rubbing in a circular motion. This kind of "scalp massage" is a pretty unique experience for a lot of people, and I can tell you it feels wonderful.

If your partner is still fully clothed after you've worked on her neck and shoulders for awhile, and you want things to go a little further, try pulling her shirt out of her pants, or if it's already out slide your hands under her shirt.

It's a lot easier to give a girl a rub down without clothes in the way. If you have lotion in the house, ask if she'd like you to use it on her. Once she agrees she has to take her shirt off.

How to Use Massage as a Ice Breaker

Massage is the Best Ice-Breaker to Use on Women

It's true! How many times have you found yourself in a situation with a woman that you really wanted but you weren't sure what your first move should be, or even if you should make a first move.

Try offering her a back rub or a massage, or imply that you would like to get one from her. A massage can be non sexual just by itself, and it lets her, or you decide if you want to take things further. I know it's cheesy, but it works.

If it's someone you don't know very well, sometimes you don't even need to ask her. If you think that she's going to be receptive to it, then find an opportune moment where you can get behind her and put your hands on her neck and shoulders. Most people can't resist a back or neck rub.

This doesn't always work though since there are some women only allow a CMT (certified massage therapist), or their chiropractor to work on their back, and they will tell you that they don't want a massage. If that kind of a prissy attitude doesn't turn you off you may want to ask her if she's willing to give you a back rub even if she won't accept one.

Advice on How to French Kiss

How to French Kiss and Making Kissing Count with Women

French kissing involves the use of your tongue when kissing, often inside the mouth of the other person. They, in turn, use their tongue as well. Many people make the mistake of moving their tongue around too fast inside the mouth of the other person, being too aggressive, hard, sloppy or impatient. It is best to alter your pace and pressure over time. At times, follow the lead of the other person while at other times take control. Be careful, as heavy, passionate kissing can lead people to want or expect more in terms of physical intimacy or sex. It often creates desire in people that they may or may not be ready for or may or may not be able to control.

The problem that most people have is that they see kissing as a means to an end not a separate activity or entity unto itself. Men especially are often too rough, too fast and lack knowledge of the five P's of kissing: Patience, Passion, Pacing, Pressure and Practice.

A successful kisser has an innate sixth sense when it comes to being appropriately passionate. They react to their partner's lead and don't feel the need to dictate or control the action, but will if the situation dictates. They exhibit the perfect balance between tenderness and aggressiveness, between spontaneity and consistency, between sweetness and sensuality.

A passionate person does not begin by kissing or caressing the most sensitive locations first (such as the neck and ears). Rather they end up there after focusing adequate attention on areas that are often overlooked such as the corners of the mouth, lips (individually), temples, eye lids, fingertips and palms of the hand. Your tongue can be used during these kisses as well, just don't become get too sloppy. Plus, they refrain from over-stimulating other parts of the body while kissing as not to divert their partner's attention away from the kissing.

How to Surprise a Girl with a Kiss

The Surprise Kiss

A most charming manner of kissing is called the "surprise kiss." This is performed when one of the parties has fallen asleep, on the sofa, let us say. On entering the room, when the other sees his lover asleep, he should tip-toe softly over to her. Then, lowering his head slowly, he should implant a soft, downy, feathery kiss squarely on her lips. This first kiss should be a very light one. -But, thereafter, the intensity of the kisses should increase until the sleeping one has awakened. and, of course, even beyond that. The effect of such an awakening to a sleeper is almost heavenly. For, while in the midst of a dream, a pleasant one, most likely, for it will concern the other half of the couple, she feels vaguely, faintly, as though it were the touch of a butterfly's wing, a subtle kiss on her lips. Naturally, in the depths of her sleep, she imagines that it is part of her dream and the result. is a pleasant sensation, indeed.

Then, gradually, although still asleep, she feels the kisses continue. And the pleasantness continues. Then, as she starts to come out of her sleep, she realizes that the kisses are to real for a dream. But she is sure that she is dreaming. And so, immediately, a relapse from the happiness sets in and a twinge of sadness comes over her because she knows that', instead of being with her lover, she is only dreaming of him. Imagine, then, her extreme gratification, when, while thinking these drab thoughts, she feels the actuality of an intense, ardent kiss on her lips. Her heart flutters wildly. Her pulse runs riot. Perhaps she is not asleep, she argues to herself. Then she opens her eyes. And she sees the darling face of her beloved bending over her. And she feels the sensuous touch of his lips on hers. Truly, no awakening can be more pleasurable!

How to Approach a Girl and Kiss Her

How to Approach a Girl for Kissing

In kissing a girl whose experience with osculation is limited, it is a good thing to work up to the kissing of the lips. Only an arrant fool seizes hold of such a girl, when they are comfortably seated on the sofa, and suddenly shoves his face into her's and smacks her lips' Naturally, the first thing he should do is to arrange it so that the girl is seated against the arm of the sofa while he is seated at her side.

In this way, she cannot edge away from -him when he becomes serious in his attentions. This done, on some pretext or another, such as a gallant attempt to adjust the cushions behind her, he manages to insinuate his arm, first around the back of the sofa and then, gradually, around her shoulders. If she flinches, don't worry. If she flinches and makes an outcry, don't worry. If she flinches, makes an outcry and tries to get up from the sofa, don't worry. Hold her gently but firmly, and allay her fears with kind, reassuring words.

Remember what Shakespeare said about "a woman's no! However., if she flinches and makes an outcry, a loud, stentorian outcry, mind you, and starts to scratch your face, then start to worry or start to get yourself out of a bad situation. Such girls are not to be trifled with ... or kissed. It is such as they, in most cases, who still believe the story of the stork which brings babies because of the consequences of a kiss.

But if your arm is comfortably reposed across the girl's shoulders and "all's right with the world)" then your next step is to flatter her in some way. All women like to be flattered. They like to be told they are beautiful even when the mirror throws the lie back into their ugly faces.

Flatter her! Tell her she is beautiful!

Then, take a deep sniff of the perfume in her hair and comment on it. Tell her that the odor is like "heady wine." Tell her that her hair smells like a garden of roses. Tell her anything, but be sure to tell her something complimentary. This done, it is only a natural thing for you to do to, desire to sink your nose deeper into her hair so that you can get the full benefit of its bouquet.