EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEWS WITH NIGHTCLUB WOMEN

Why Do You Go to Nightclubs?

Robin - "To meet new people and to enjoy the music."
Kerry - "Because I love the music and I like to meet new men."
Erika - "Because I like the music and the people."
Valerie - "Because I like the style. I enjoy it very much. You learn new dance steps and I like to see how other people dance."
Paula - "I go to clubs to get away from everything and to have fun. It is a good way to let your emotions out."
Susan - " To have a good time, dance, and to meet people."
Gail - “Mainly to dance and enjoy good friends."
Debbie - "To meet men and to dance."

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Erin - "To meet men and to have fun."
Kim - "To meet new people and to be with my friends."
Nicole - "To dance, watch people, and meet men, but not for sex."
Barbara - "To party and have a good time."
Nancy - "To dance and meet people."
Natalie - "To dance and meet people, depending on my mood."
Gayle - "I love the beat of the music and I find it very exciting meeting and making new friends, both male and female."
Peggy - "To meet guys who dance good.
Teresa - "To get hustled by men. I enjoy all the attention."

The oldest, and still perhaps the best, tactic in existence is to ask for help. You can ask for directions (this is good because if you ask about a place along the way she is walking, you can walk with her). You can ask for other types of advice, like where you could buy some particular item. If you are very impressed by the dress (or shoes) she is wearing, ask her where she bought it. Or ask about women's clothing details (you are buying something for your mother, sister, or a friend). You can probably think of many other ways to ask for help.

The only problem is that having given the help you requested, she is ready to move on. But you have a small advantage -she is stopped and talking to you. It is not yet time to introduce yourself (unless she appears very friendly), but you must follow up on your advantage. It is a good time for one of those very commonplace, casual remarks like, "Do you work around here?" or "Do you live here in..?" After her answer you can say, "By the way, my name is ..., what's yours?" Never be afraid to tell her you only asked for help to meet her. But wait until after you have introduced yourself.

Asking for help definitely is the best all-round opener for a pick up. It works well, both in "stationary" and "moving" situations.

Lower your standards. Some men go dateless for months because they are shooting for the beauty queens. The fact that they are not with women makes landing one of those beauties even more difficult. If they would lower their standards and start dating, it would get them in circulation and make their social life advance much more quickly.

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Don't be afraid to be seen with less attractive women. Other women will not notice that you are out with a woman that is, say, overweight. They will notice, however, that you are out with a woman who enjoys being with you. Hopefully, you will spend the evening enjoying being with your date too, because people will notice that also.

There are many, many ways to suggest that you are involved with women and found attractive by women. You find them throughout the book.

This is an excerpt from our best-selling book, "A Man's Guide to Women."

Let's talk about smiles during your first meeting with a topless dancers. A warm and sexy smile can do wonders in getting a dancer attracted to you. A smile is your best way to break the ice with a dancer. It shows that you are a positive person. It lifts the spirits of the dancer and indicates that you're open to conversation. A warm smile communicates to her that you've noticed her in an approving way. Your smile says to her, "You look nice. Let's get to know each other." Be sure and examine your smile. You need to make sure that you're sending the right message when you smile at the dancers. Stand in front of a mirror. Smile naturally as if you were smiling at a dancer and check:

1. Does your smile look warm, friendly, and sexy?
2. Are your teeth shiny and white?

Work on the areas that need improvement and beware of a smile that looks more like a forced grin. You probably need to relax your face more. Watch out for half-hearted smiles. This may be caused by shyness but they come across as not very warm. Also, if you smile comes across as phony, it may have been on your face too long. After smiling for a minute or so your lips begin to get tired and freeze into a glazed look. To cure this and freshen your smile, rest a moment. When you're not smiling, don't let your mouth give off negative messages. Tightly pursed lips can suggest anger and you certainly don't want to come across as angry when meeting a topless dancer. Also a turned down mouth communicates sadness or disapproval.

Let me give you a few pointers if you're slow-¬dancing in nightclubs and by all means try to dance to every slow dance because of the physical contact involved.

Just as in fast dancing, immediately start introduction procedures. Open up by saying, "My name is_______ What's yours?

When slow-dancing, try to hold her as close to your body as possible. Gently now! Don't squeeze her like an octopus. When moving your right leg, gently brush her inner thighs. While dancing, gently squeeze her hand and see if you get any response. If you do, continue with the next step. Start rubbing her back with your hand. At this point if she starts rubbing your shoulders, neck, or back and starts grinding her crotch against yours, you are on your way.

At this stage of the game it's time to try and kiss her. Begin kissing her neck and work your way up to behind the ear, then the ear lobe, then kiss her on the lips. If you've gotten this far, chances are you're going to become intimate with her tonight, if not later for sure. If you have tried all these moves and you do not get any response, don't be concerned about it. Some women are reluctant to show any affection towards a total stranger. This is quite common, so don't jump to conclusions thinking that she's cold or not interested in you.

If she is busy, but there are no strangers within earshot, you can ask her name and introduce yourself, and ask her if she is busy later. This is suitable with waitresses, receptionists, office workers and some others. A date can be made then, or later.

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In both cases mentioned (with the girl busy), if she should say "No," you should be a little persistent.

You should say, "Oh! Come on now. I only want to talk to you for a minute or two. You can't be that busy, all the time." Her "No" may have been a knee jerk reaction, because you took her by surprise. She will usually relent, unless she has a strong feeling about not wanting to meet you.

It is a very good strategy to build up a number of female friends. These are women with whom, for one reason or another, you are not interested in a relationship that goes beyond friends. These are girls that feel comfortable and safe around you, and vice versa. Most all women enjoy having male friends, and so they will value you. The reason that this situation is such an asset to you is that:

1. The main reason. You will be seen with women which is good for your image.
2. One of the best ways to meet women is through women - especially women that like and appreciate you.
3. Sometimes there may be parties or social events that you would not want to attend stag. A female friend would come in handy for these situations.
4. Being around women who are friends will make you more at ease and confident around other women. Your actions and words around women will become natural.
5. There is always the possibility that one of these friendships may blossom.

When you first meet a topless dancer, do these important steps to create a bond. Be the first to extend your hand during your initial greeting. While shaking hands, give her a warm friendly smile and say, "Hi, my name is _____." That's the best way to open the channels of communication between you and the dancer. She will be impressed by you shaking her hand also because most men don't. You are showing her respect and making her feel special. It shows that you're a warm & friendly person and it helps to lower her defenses. It creates an atmosphere of receptivity between you and the dancer.

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When you shake hands, be sure your hand acts as your private diplomat. Use a firm grip to show strength and friendliness. A grip that's too hard seems aggressive. A grip that's too soft suggests that you're weak, retreating or indifferent. As soon as you feel her grip relax, break the handshake. If it's a very quick handshake it indicates an obligatory handshake. I'll bet you didn't think handshaking was such an art.