Keep Your Ears Open

An iceberg statement is a piece of free information in which 90 percent is under the surface, waiting to be asked about. These statements are hints of what she would really like to talk about. An example is "Oh, thank you. I got these earrings when I was working at a topless club in Dallas." The speaker wants you to ask a follow-up question: "When were you in Dallas?"

People are usually hesitant to compliment themselves. She may complain to you that none of her clothes fit anymore because they're too big. If you are a sensitive listener, you may realize she is really telling you she has lost weight and would like some praise. Be alert for such clues.