Having your marriage break apart is an extremely difficult and painful thing to go through. When kids are involved it's just that much harder since you have to worry about them as well as try to deal with your own emotions. But there is hope. You can find the best ways to get your wife back and use the techniques you learn to save your marriage.

There is a lot of information available online. As you know not all of it is accurate. You don't want to waste time following bad advice. You want to make sure the advice you get has a real chance of working.

I have included a list of some things you should do to save your marriage and some things you should avoid at all costs. Follow this list and you'll be well on your way to saving your marriage.

DON'T

1) Don't whine, get angry, threaten, or seem needy. No one likes to be pushed around and manipulated and that's what you'd be doing if you do any of the above things. If your wife feels like you are trying to force her into something she will react like most people would when being pushed: she's going to push back and/or run away.

2) Don't obsess about everything, constantly replaying conversations over in your head, driving yourself crazy wondering what she's doing (and who she's doing it with).

DO

1) Do talk. I mean talk, not lecture. That is a big mistake so many men make, they try to talk over their wife. They don't really listen to what she is trying to explain. If you want to save your marriage and get your wife back you have to try very hard to put yourself in her shoes, to see things from her perspective.

Remember, perspective isn't right or wrong it's just how you see things. You are both entitled to your view of the situation. If you respect each other's opinions and feelings and are willing to listen, you might just find that you aren't as far apart as you think.

2) Try to remind your wife of what it was that attracted her to you in the first place. Be fun and try hard to live your life. No one wants to be around a boring, depressed person. Wallowing in your pain isn't the way to win her back.

Going out with your friends and trying to live your life to the fullest, even while you are working on getting your wife back, will not only make the situation easier for you it can also help her to see you in a new light. She can see you as the man she fell in love with and maybe some of those old feelings will re-ignite.

One word of caution though: do not hookup! If you truly want your wife back you don't want to cheat on her during this period. It might seem ok since you're not together but if she finds out, and she will, she will never be able to go back with you.

Think about it, how would you feel if the situation was reversed and your wife hooked up with someone so soon after your split. Wouldn't it hurt you deeply to think she could forget you and be with someone else so soon? That's how she would feel too. Plus, it's not fair to the other woman. You would essentially be using her to ease your own pain.

Relationships can be difficult, but that doesn't mean that it's not worth saving. If you follow the best ways to get your wife back listed above you will have a real shot at repairing, and maybe even improving, your relationship.

Who pays for the dinner date?

This is one of the biggest reasons to avoid the dinner date, at least to begin with. In addition to creating an awkward social setting with someone you barely know, you basically force all sorts of uncomfortable thoughts about the money involved.

Coffee? Who cares about a coupla bucks?

Shopping? You're not going to buy her something, are you? That smells of bribery worse than dinner, and you'll just make her uneasy.

Avoid putting yourself in situations where the issue of payment comes up, and you'll avoid this whole can of worms.

Create a World

That's a POWERFUL move. Say you want to tell her something (and have something to tell her). Maybe it can be about something you want to show her at your house, like an album or a book (done subtly, this is a great way to lead to a house call). Take her hand and LEAD her to a more secluded spot.

Don't put your hands all over her, you look desperate and pervy. But once you've led her somewhere, you've shifted the world a little bit, you are in it TOGETHER. Maintain strong eye contact. Speak in a quieter, confidential voice (the kind she wants to lean in to hear).

Set yourself up that way, and it should be much easier to get yourself moving to another spot right off the bat. The important thing is that you concentrate not on getting a woman to bed, but on moving to the next step.

Once you've got a connection, the next step is changing settings so you reaffirm and strengthen that connection.

This is good in so many ways. It gives you a chance to get to know the girl quickly which is impressive when it happens quickly, plus it let's you figure out if the lady is worth your time before you've invested much.

It feels natural ,something even the best dates fail at.

It's low-pressure fun, spontaneous, without expectations or commitments.

It's just great. Not to mention it allows YOU to set the pace you proceed at.

 

With what you've learned with me so far, you WILL be able to get numbers from women. Lots of them. Now I'm not saying you'll get the info for every lady that turns your head; plenty of women will be unavailable for various reasons. Some have boyfriends, some are taking a break, some are just in the wrong mood whatever, it doesn't matter. You know enough to not let the unavailable women get you down, affect your confidence, or change your playfulness. We're not worried about them.

And now that you can get the numbers of TONS of women, my job is done, right?

Wrong. This is just the FIRST STEP and you've got to remember that. Just because you've got a woman interested and even if you keep your relaxed confidence going there are plenty of places to stumble.

The Instant Date

Like what? This may surprise you, but you SHOULDN'T take women on dates. That might sound strange, so I'll phrase it another way.

If you take a woman to dinner and a movie, you're asking to be strung along like a knitting club's quilt. You set yourself up for all sorts of mistakes which I'll talk about in a second and you're just begging for uncomfortable silences and boring conversation.

Hey, you can make it work. You just make yourself work a LOT harder.

So what should you do instead? Well, best-case scenario you create an instant date. You go from meeting to GOING somewhere, TOGETHER. This can mean moving from the bookstore to a coffee shop, one club to another or often, to begin, just LEADING a woman from one part of a bar to another.

Criticism a man might receive from a woman:

TYPE #1 - She may be absolutely right. She is nagging you for not taking her out enough because you don't take her out enough.

TYPE #2 - She may be criticizing you for one thing when she is really concerned about something else. For example: She may be nagging you for not taking her out enough. But really, she is mad at you because you have been flirting and coming-on to other women. So why doesn't she just come out and say that? One of many reasons. 1) She may be afraid to admit that she is jealous. 2) She may not even have admitted it to herself so it is her subconscious reaction to your flirting. 3) She may be trying to bring the subject up in a round-about way because she isn't quite sure how to do it. Or 4) She's feeling very insecure in her relationship with you because of the flirting and she is really begging for reassurance (Taking her out more would give her that).