Not listening to her. Nobody likes to be ignored. Failure to pay attention to her while she is talking is an insult. It is a form of rejection and nobody likes to feel rejected. Don't be pre-occupied with what's going on around you and tune her out. Don't focus on other topless dancers stripping while she's talking to you either.

If she's talking about a subject you have no interest in, don't spend your time trying to come up with ways to change the topic of conversation to something that you enjoy talking about. Hear here out!

Don't make this mistake either. Let's say she's talking about a subject you're really interested in and you get so anxious to put your two cents worth in and comments, you spend your time going over in your mind what you are going to say rather then listening attentively to her.

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You'll always find plenty of single, nice women at church.

Many churches have begun to sponsor activities for singles. These activities range from dances and trips to lectures and discussions, from seminars on communication to workshops on sexuality.

If the church doesn't have a singles group, you'll have to use the conventional approach. Pick out a church and start going there regularly. Each time you go make it a point to sit next to or near the woman of your choice. Try to be near this woman each time you go to church. You'll become old friends before too long. The first chance you get, ask her if you could talk to her after the service. She will probably say yes and you'll be on your way.

Men sometimes do pull off a "moving" pick-up, with just a few words like, "Hi! Do you want to go to a party?" and other similarly direct approaches. But we feel you will ruin a lot of good opportunities that way, even if you might be successful sometimes. But it is up to you, the reader, to decide. Maybe you want to try such direct approaches a few times and see how you do. At least it is very simple and easy to do. We think that the chance of success of a direct approach depends more on the appearance of the man than other approaches. If a girl is very impressed by a man's appearance, she may well go along with it. But if a man is more ordinary looking, she may not. Such a man would do better to build up his case more slowly, in the more conventional way.

Probably all of us have known some man who is an absolute natural at picking up girls. Maybe it is a combination of boyish good looks, disarming charm, quick wit and super confidence. But he can walk up to any girl and she will like him right away, almost instinctively. He can approach a girl and, with just a few words, take charge immediately - make a date with her, take her off to a party, or whatever. He has instant momentum. He is not apologetic, but rather, positive or even aggressive with his opening lines. Of course you envy him.

But don't try to copy him, unless you have the same attractive assets he has. You probably don't have, or you would be using them already.

People like that usually have been successful socially for a long time; that is why they seem so natural. Probably as a child they learned they had good looks and started learning how to use them to get the things they wanted. They were developing their charm. For you to try and learn to compete with that type of "class" would be like a middle-aged man saying, "I'm going to learn to play tennis, and beat John McEnroe." Hyping up your confidence is one thing, but overreaching and falling flat on your face only destroys confidence. Be realistic. Don't waste your time trying to be someone you can't be. Settle for a little slower (and surer) approach. Develop a style that can work for you first. You may be able to improve your methods later.

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TIP - Lower your standards. Some men go dateless for months because they are shooting for the beauty queens. The fact that they are not with women makes landing one of those beauties even more difficult. If they would lower their standards and start dating, it would get them in circulation and make their social life advance much more quickly.

Don't be afraid to be seen with less attractive women. Other women will not notice that you are out with a woman that is, say, overweight. They will notice, however, that you are out with a woman who enjoys being with you. Hopefully, you will spend the evening enjoying being with your date too, because people will notice that also.

SIN #1 - Trying to prove to her that you're more intelligent than her. If you really are a highly intelligent person , just keep it to yourself. Don't try to show how much smarter you are than her.

Now, I realize that a lot of topless dancers lack formal education, their mentality may have been altered by drugs, a dysfunctional family, or they are somewhat naturally stupid. Forget all this and relate to her on her level.

You will be able to communicate with her much better and if you can't carry on an intelligent conversation with her you are off to a bad start. Also, you may intimidate her by putting her intelligence down. She may not care to be around you and just get up and leave.

SIN #2 - Interrupting her during conversation. This is a quick way of becoming unpopular with her and even being disliked. Interrupting her when she's trying to say something is an insult and can hurt her feelings. If you are doing this, it stems from your ego problem of wanting to feel important, to be heard, and to be recognized.

Don't commit this deadly sin and just put your ego aside and concentrate completely on what she is saying. Focus all of your undivided attention on her and don't butt in. Hear her out. If you listen closely enough, you might even learn something of value.