In our experience and observations, one thing has become clear: Women are much better at the game of seduction than men are. Women seem to be born with the instincts, or at least learn them at an early age, of how to play hard to get, how to tempt men, and how to master all the subtleties of male/female pursuit.

Men, on the other hand, seem to be very ignorant in these matters. The sum total of most men's expertise in pursuing a woman seems to be somewhat related to hitting her over the head with a club. And since this technique is no longer accepted, most men are completely lost and vulnerable to the manipulative instincts of women.

What do you wear to a topless club? You dress to impress, that's what. When a topless dancer first sees you she is impressed by how you look and what you're wearing. First impressions are very important and you want to make a good first impression. You can do this by wearing something that she is attracted to and you want to stand out from the other guys that are dressed like slobs or old men. So where do you find some up-to-date fashionable clothes to impress topless dancers? Your best source is from a catalog called International Male. Call them at 1-800-293-9333 for a free catalog. I ordered all my clothes for going to topless clubs from them. I always get tons of compliments on my clothes from the dancers. These fashions really impress the dancers and help to attract them like crazy. Believe me, there's a lot of truth to the old saying, "Clothes make the man." You can also get fashion ideas from GQ Magazine which is on your local magazine rack. Also, Esquire Magazine, and Playboy. Pay attention to how the male models are dressed that are 35 to 60 years old and try to dress like them.

Why do you need to be a sharp dresser? Because most of the topless dancers are young and they are infatuated with clothes. Her world revolves around clothes and she's always talking about them, shopping for them, and reading about them and she has an appreciation for a man who wears them well and looks his best.

Choose the colors that you look best in and if you don't know, ask women, they will know what becomes you. Don't go to a topless club over-dressed. You will appear to the dancers that you're stuffy. You want them to feel relaxed and casual around you.

You don’t want to make a fool out of yourself and turn the younger dancers off. They will secretly ridicule you behind your back. Dress for your age group. Here are some dressing taboos for topless clubs:

1. Avoid looking like her Daddy. Don't wear bright colors or anything polyester.
2. Avoid cowboy boots, ball caps, hush puppies, golf shoes, suspenders, sweaters with buttons on the front, pattern or plaid pants or jackets, bell-bottomed pants, loud ties, glasses, tie clasps or tacks, wear nothing that's a throw-back to the 60's and 70's, shirt pocket pen holders, Hawaiian shirts, or shirts unbuttoned down your chest.
3. A word about jewelry. Don't wear gold chains around your neck, gaudy watches and rings, gold bracelets, or calculator watches.

How and Where to Meet Well-to-Do Women

First off, remember men, you don't have to be a "10." Thisisn't about the numbers game, so I'm not going to waste your time telling you how to be what some narrow-minded women think you should look like in their eyes. What you have to offer a well-to-do woman is YOU along with your attributes and faults. Don't offer a phony coverup or pat conversation. For example, if a woman says She likes a particular hobby, lifestyle or whatever and it goes against everything you've always believed, it would be deceptive for you to tell her it's always been your favorite too, just for the sake of appearing to be the one for her. This whole idea most often backfires along the way, leaving the woman feeling betrayed and seriously jeopardizing your future credibility. When you meet these well-to-do women, above all be yourself!

This is not to say you shouldn't make an effort to improve yourself. Wear appropriate clothing when you are out meeting these ladies. Don't overdress, as you will stand out in a way that won't help your cause. If you're asked to a formal dinner, if at all possible, find out what the other men are planning to wear. If necessary, you can call the place where the dinner will be and ask the maitre d' what the men wear. If you're not certain what is proper etiquette, look around you and follow suit. If you're alone with the woman and you're not certain what drink to order or you don't understand the menu, ask her to suggest something or to surprise you. Also, you could tell her that you don't understand the menu and ask her to suggest something. Tell her you don't drink much and what would she recommend.

HERE'S A SAMPLE FORM LETTER TO USE WHEN ANSWERING PERSONAL ADS:

Hi!

I LOVE YOU DARLING! How often have you longed to hear these words? How often have you longed to be held in your arms by a man who is loving and affectionate - to be cuddled, caressed and kissed, warmly, sweetly, tenderly? Perhaps you are my sweetheart - who knows?

This letter is in response to your recent "personal" ad. A little bit about myself:

WHAT I LIKE TO DO: I love sad movies with happy endings and happy movies with no endings. Have been known to wander the beach late at night just to see the moonlight playing on the water...Addicted to the horse races in Louisiana, the French Quarter, and tubing down the Guadalupe River in New Braunfels drinking margaritas...My leisure activities include mountain-climbing, canoeing, fishing, camping, hiking, bowling, playing the organ and guitar, reading, and I love all sports...I love poetry, books, walks on the beach and cozy candlelight dinners (I'll do the cooking). I enjoy movies, love live comedy theatre, all kinds of music (I love to dance), the desert, the quietness of the mountains, the ocean, sunrises and sunsets, and dining out.

WHO I AM: I have never been a game player. I never want personal happiness at the expense of someone else. If we have a single date or a lifetime together, I will never lie to you, try to manipulate you or use you in any way. I am an incurable romantic who treasures, cherishes and appreciates sincerity, integrity, honesty and warmth. I enjoy picnics, laughing, talking, touching, affection and physical closeness. A good listener who enjoys mutual spoiling...I'm a person who feels a oneness with the earth, who is in tune with nature, who loves the outdoors, and all things bright and beautiful that the earth has to offer, including rainbows, waterfalls, bluebonnet fields, moon and stars, mountains, the ocean, and animals... Also, I have a very positive attitude and I'm a goal-oriented person. I know where I'm going in life and how to get there.

WHAT I AM LOOKING FOR: LET'S BECOME GOOD FRIENDS, then...HOPE FOR A VERY BEAUTIFUL RELATIONSHIP. I feel that before we can have a good relationship, we must put forth the energy and time it takes to first become good friends. Friendship is one of the most important building blocks of a good relationship. To me, friends are like flowers in the garden of life...I am looking for a special, loving relationship with a unique woman who is affectionate, attractive, slender, with a nice physique, sincere, easygoing, with interests and characteristics similar to mine - someone who wants a meaningful, serious, long-term relationship - not just a few dates. Are you that special woman?...I am interested in a woman who needs love, tenderness, sympathetic understanding, to share a long-lasting relationship with a one-woman man.

So, if you're disappointed in what you've had up until now and ready for a first class man to come into your life and extend to you first class treatment, please write or call me at 484-2525 WITHOUT FURTHER DELAY. Contact me today. DO IT NOW!

Sincerely, ADDRESS:
Jerry Gates
11540 Gullwood
Houston, TX 77029

Enough of the "Eager to Please"

When you sense that the girl is becoming friendlier to you, it is time to change your approach. In a FIRST PHASE approach you may have had to grovel a bit to get to meet her. You said, "Excuse me." and "I hope you don't mind" etc. This may have been necessary. After all, you were intruding in her space. But now it is different: she has accepted your presence.

Now you should act in a more self-assured fashion. You should no longer act as if you were only eager to please her. You should now act as a man who is confident that the girl is (or will be) attracted to him, because he has something worthwhile to offer. And you now expect to deal with her on an equal basis. Your attitude should no longer be so apologetic, but more as if you were taking her approval for granted. Your speech style should reflect this:

Do not say, "Would you mind if I took your picture?" Say, "I would like to take your picture."

Do not say, “Would you come with me? I'd like to show you something." Say, "Come with me. I'd like to show you something."

Do not say, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but what do you think..." Say, "Tell me! What do you think?"

It is better to sound a bit selfish and demanding than apologetic and unsure.

A friend of ours had noticed a girl around town for some time. They had no common friends. She kept to herself. And it seemed he had no opportunity to meet her. Finally, he found out her name and phone number through extensive detective work. From what he could tell, she seemed to have similar interests as himself, and felt confident that, given a chance to meet, they would hit it off. He was also reasonable sure that she was discriminating enough not to go for any kind of a "come on." Out of the blue, he decided to take a shot and call her. His premise was that a friend had mentioned her as possible being a good tennis partner and would she like to play. He reasoned that playing tennis would be a good opportunity to meet and see if she was interested in him. Most importantly, it would allow him to get to know her without it looking like a "come on."

In this case, she didn't play tennis and his ploy bombed, but we still gave him an 'A' for imagination and effort.

Often, the situation you are in lends itself to meeting a woman. You work with her. You belong to the same health club. You are in the same class. All these situations require is the ability to simply walk up and say, "Hi." Be warm. Be friendly. Be confident. Above all, appear to be someone who is just a very friendly person and not someone who is on the make. She will remember you and your foot is in the door.

The important thing to remember is that every girl and situation is different. So use your creativity, and remember the two principles of meeting a woman: 1) You must be distinctive and different, and 2) You don't want to appear to be making a "come on."

Sometimes you will have to be spontaneous, so be open and ready for anything. No matter where you are - at work, at play, school, the store - be at your best and ready to meet someone.

A final point in this chapter to remember is something you do either before you meet a girl or before you first start dating her. That is, if you see someone that looks like she is interested and you want to meet her, or perhaps you already know her and you intend on dating her, and then find out as much as you can about her. Literally, you develop a dossier on her. How do you do this? You become a detective and search for clues. What kind of a car does she drive? Where does she work? Where does she live? What kind of clothes does she wear? Jewelry? What classes is she taking at school? Does she have an accent? Who are her friends? What sports does she play? Look in the back of her car for clues - a tennis racket, a book, anything.

Every shred of information you can gather increases your chances of success when the time comes to spend time with her. You can tailor your approach to her according to what you have learned. The types of dates you would go on, the things you would talk about, the image you would portray, everything would be affected by what you might learn about her.

Treat Her With Dignity

I know topless bars have a bad reputation and the girls get a bad rap. Some people think topless dancers are nothing but a bunch of whores and prostitutes. If this is what you think of these women, you had better change your attitude in a hurry. The dancers will pick up on your attitude by the way you treat them.

The vast majority of topless dancers you will run into are not prostitutes or whores. They are only dancers making a living by taking off their clothes. Don't hold it against her because she's trying to make a living by taking her clothes off in front of a bunch of lust-hungry horny men. They have bills to pay just like you. What I'm trying to say is treat these women with respect and dignity. Always be a perfect gentleman. Believe me, she will notice these little things and it will make a good impression on her. Even though they are a topless dancer, they still like to be treated as a lady and not as a piece of meat or as a sex object. They still have a lot of pride.

Always treat them as you would like to be treated. Don't ever be rude to her even if she gives you cause to be rude to her. If she makes any smart or rude comments towards you, just ignore it. You're not there to make enemies, you're there to make friends and turn that friendship into a love affair or sexual encounter.

If you treat a dancer like shit, she will never forget it. Plus, she may tell the other dancers what an asshole you are. Also, she may tell the bouncer and have your ass thrown out of the club. Always be on your best behavior and charm. It always pays off in the long run.