Smoking and Drinking in Personal Ads

Should You Mention Smoking or Drinking in Personal Ads?

Face it, smokers are the social pariahs and lepers of today. They get cut no slack. Many people absolutely refuse to date a smoker. If smoking is a big issue with you, you will be doing yourself and smokers a big favor if you state in your ad or response that you don't smoke and don't want to meet someone that does. If you are running an ad and you smoke, I strongly suggest that you say so in your written ad. There is no good way to sugar coat the fact that you smoke. I also know that it will dramatically cut the number of responses that you get. At the very least, say very clearly that you smoke in your voice message. If you smoke and are responding to an ad, say that you are a smoker. If people are warned up front that you smoke it won't be a rude shock when you pull out a Marlboro and light up.

The same advice applies if you have strong feelings about drinking and/or drugs. If you had an alcoholic ex-spouse or parent and hate alcohol, specify in your ad or response that you are only interested in meeting someone who is a non-drinker. There are plenty of available people who don't drink and who share your sentiments. It is probably too much to expect that a drug addict or an alcoholic would "fess up to their addiction in an ad or response. But if you drink a lot, do not claim to be a "light social drinker." Your habit will become obvious after you order your sixth rum and Coke at your first meeting.

How to Win Back Your Ex Girlfriend

How to Win Back Your Ex Girlfriend When She Is Being Cold

It's never easy for a man to deal with a woman who is being cold, but when that wan just happens to be an ex girlfriend that you want to win back, well that can be downright hard. You want to be able to have one of those conversations that leads to her looking back at you with a longing in her eyes, but you know that's not going to happen when she is more frigid than an Alaskan winter. How are you going to be able to win back your ex girlfriend when she is being cold to you?

First off, you should probably try and identify exactly why she is giving you the cold treatment. Cause if you don't have a clue about why she is acting that way... it's almost impossible to come up with a way to get her warmed back up. So, that should be the first thing that you do. Once you have identified why she is acting that way, then you can start to put together a plan to win back your ex girlfriend:

And here is what you need to do:

1) If she has been cold for a while, then you really have to be sly about your intentions on winning her back.

Don't come right out and say that you still love her. Don't come right out and tell her that you want to date her again. When a woman is cold, she can shoot you down without giving it a second thought. So, if you approach your ex girlfriend while she is still in that state, you are going to be sealing your fate and ending any hopes that you have of getting that next opportunity to date her again.

2) You are going to have to turn up the charm and charisma a little more than usual.

The best way to warm up a woman, so to speak, is to use your charm to get on her good side again. Instead of her acting frigid, you want to see a bright smile on her face when she sees you. That way, she will begin to associate feeling good to being around you. This is where you really need to turn up both the charm and charisma, even when you don't want to.

3) You are going to have to show her that she can let go of that attitude around you.

This is another big piece to the puzzle. You need to use action to get her going, words alone are not going to cut it. She's going to have an attitude around you, that's a given. You have to be able to handle that attitude without getting all freaked out about it. If you do this, then you can easily warm her back up to you and THEN you can suggest that the two of you get back together again.

It might seem complicated, but it can actually be EASY to win back your ex girlfriend when you have a PROVEN system to make it happen...

Avoiding the Stigma of Meeting Through a Personal Ad

Should You Tell People You Met Through the Personals?

A few years ago I was visiting my parents with a woman that I met through a personal ad. My mom asked us how we had met. She wasn't prying. She was just curious. Neither of us was embarrassed that we had met through the personal ads, but it hadn't occurred to me that my mom might ask that question or how surprised she would be when we told her that we met that way. People in their 70's, especially if they have been married for 50 years, sometimes don't realize how creative you need to be.

I also went out with a woman who said that her daughters did not know how we had met. She told me that she would kill me if I ever told them. I didn't tell them for fear that she wasn't kidding. I also didn't see her many more times.

If you feel that you need to make up a lie about how you met, make it a very simple lie. Coordinate your story and get the facts straight. "We met in a checkout line at the supermarket" is simple and hard to mess up, unless your mom wants to know what her son was buying and you say broccoli and chicken and she tells the truth, you were buying Twinkies and Nestle's Quik.

Advice About Married Women Using Personal Ads

How to Avoid People Who Are Married in Personal Ads

Married people do lie and use the personal ads. The anonymity of placing and answering personal ads is probably the biggest attraction for married people. It may have happened to me but I don't think so. If it did, I wasn't aware when it happened.

I wish that there was some advice that I could give you that would guarantee that you could avoid married people or those in committed in relationships. There just isn't any that I know of. If you have a theory or technique that has helped you spot married people in the past in other situations, use it.

Some married people will place a personal ad and admit in the ad that they are married and out for a few "thrills." Others plead that they just need some "understanding." Some ask to meet someone that is married. Consider the following ads:

WANTED: MARRIED WOMAN FOR discrete, romantic relationship. DWM, 29...been described as gorgeous.

"GOLF" Tall, dark, handsome married man, average golfer, seeks lady golfer to burn up the links.

Let your conscience (and common sense) be your guide if you choose to respond. I suspect that the golfer has a lot of trouble with his "putter" at home. I have seen very few ads by women that admitted that they were married. I do not have any idea if that is because married women are less likely to run ads or do not admit they are married in them.

Some publications that run personal ads have a section for married people with particular "hobbies." If you are married and you want to run an ad, I really think that you should say that you are married and put your ads in one of those sections if is available. I don't have any advice for those of you that are married and want to answer ads. This article is an excerpt from our book, "Effective Personal Ads - How to Write Personal Ads or Respond to Personal Ads."

How to Massage a Girl With Your Fingers

How to Seduce Girls Using Your Fingers

If your girl, however, is receptive to the idea of a massage then I have one key tip to offer you. When giving a massage, use the pads of your fingers, not the tips. When you use the tips of your fingers, it often feels like someone is clawing into your back, and it can hurt quite a bit, especially the muscles are really tense.

When you use the pads of your fingers, it feels much more soothing and relaxing.

But hey, if your girl is into that kind of pain, then dig in :-) Most of the girls I've been with tend to prefer the soothing kind of massage, and shy away from the painful variety.

When massaging a girl's neck or back try running your fingers through her hair, up the back of his scalp, along the sides of her head, to her temples, all the while gently rubbing in a circular motion. This kind of "scalp massage" is a pretty unique experience for a lot of people, and I can tell you it feels wonderful.

If your partner is still fully clothed after you've worked on her neck and shoulders for awhile, and you want things to go a little further, try pulling her shirt out of her pants, or if it's already out slide your hands under her shirt.

It's a lot easier to give a girl a rub down without clothes in the way. If you have lotion in the house, ask if she'd like you to use it on her. Once she agrees she has to take her shirt off.

How to Use Massage as a Ice Breaker

Massage is the Best Ice-Breaker to Use on Women

It's true! How many times have you found yourself in a situation with a woman that you really wanted but you weren't sure what your first move should be, or even if you should make a first move.

Try offering her a back rub or a massage, or imply that you would like to get one from her. A massage can be non sexual just by itself, and it lets her, or you decide if you want to take things further. I know it's cheesy, but it works.

If it's someone you don't know very well, sometimes you don't even need to ask her. If you think that she's going to be receptive to it, then find an opportune moment where you can get behind her and put your hands on her neck and shoulders. Most people can't resist a back or neck rub.

This doesn't always work though since there are some women only allow a CMT (certified massage therapist), or their chiropractor to work on their back, and they will tell you that they don't want a massage. If that kind of a prissy attitude doesn't turn you off you may want to ask her if she's willing to give you a back rub even if she won't accept one.

Advice on How to French Kiss

How to French Kiss and Making Kissing Count with Women

French kissing involves the use of your tongue when kissing, often inside the mouth of the other person. They, in turn, use their tongue as well. Many people make the mistake of moving their tongue around too fast inside the mouth of the other person, being too aggressive, hard, sloppy or impatient. It is best to alter your pace and pressure over time. At times, follow the lead of the other person while at other times take control. Be careful, as heavy, passionate kissing can lead people to want or expect more in terms of physical intimacy or sex. It often creates desire in people that they may or may not be ready for or may or may not be able to control.

The problem that most people have is that they see kissing as a means to an end not a separate activity or entity unto itself. Men especially are often too rough, too fast and lack knowledge of the five P's of kissing: Patience, Passion, Pacing, Pressure and Practice.

A successful kisser has an innate sixth sense when it comes to being appropriately passionate. They react to their partner's lead and don't feel the need to dictate or control the action, but will if the situation dictates. They exhibit the perfect balance between tenderness and aggressiveness, between spontaneity and consistency, between sweetness and sensuality.

A passionate person does not begin by kissing or caressing the most sensitive locations first (such as the neck and ears). Rather they end up there after focusing adequate attention on areas that are often overlooked such as the corners of the mouth, lips (individually), temples, eye lids, fingertips and palms of the hand. Your tongue can be used during these kisses as well, just don't become get too sloppy. Plus, they refrain from over-stimulating other parts of the body while kissing as not to divert their partner's attention away from the kissing.