Spiritual Comments to Help Men Succeed with Women
How to Get Women to Talk
Up until this point you have done all the talking; you have opened a conversation with her, given her a reason for your approaching her, and introduced yourself. Now it is time for you to invite her to do some talking. The best thing is to ask her about herself, e.g., "Anyway Joan, what do you do around here?" The usual mundane questions such as where she lives, where she works, are quite acceptable at this stage. You are really just marking time, and probing. An interesting train of conversation will often develop out of these ordinary subjects. But even if it doesn't, it serves good purpose. You are learning about the girl. You start to get hints of how she feels about things. Also, it makes her somewhat more at ease. Admittedly you are putting the spotlight on her by making her talk. But, she feels more appreciated if she is putting some of her own ideas into the encounter.
You may feel foolish asking a question like "Do you live around here?" I mean, it sounds like a corny line. But I don't worry, that is the way the game is played. It is an "accepted" conventional thing to say, such as when you say "Hello! How are you?" to someone.
The girl knows that it is hard for you to come up with anything pertinent right away. She can tell that you are trying to meet her. So, if she approves of you, she will cooperate with your efforts to get a conversation going.
You are trying to draw her out. But she may still be self-conscious and only give very short answers to your questions. In fact, the whole encounter, from your opening line to her telling you where she works, and where she lives, could take as little as 20 seconds, if she were playing you short, refusing to be drawn out. So then you have to try something else.
Key to Success with Women is Knowing What They Want
What Do Women Want?
This Question has totally wiped out many a man's mind since the dawning of time. Knowing what women want and how they like to be treated is the key to your success.
Women can be fickle creatures and their moods are easily changed. Luckily for men most women are greatly impressed by the smallest gestures of sincerity and sensitivity from men. The old cliche of bunch of flowers or box of chocolates will nearly always work for you in terms of setting the scene and creating a receptive atmosphere.
The way in which men and women think is totally different to one another. Even if we arrive at the same conclusions we will have taken very different paths to get there. This must be understood and accepted by you if you intend to have any success.
How to Read Body Language of Women
Reading Body Language of Women
Generally speaking, placement of the hands or legs in closed positions, standing back a little, placing the body or head sideways or at an angle, and averting the eyes all tend not to be indicative of positive commitment.
But reversals of these stances, such as arms and legs in open positions, arms used to gesture, standing closer, standing square on (most of the time), meeting the other's gaze (most of the time) indicate positive commitment.
It is not necessary to have all the significant movements and stances listed for you to understand them. If you think for a while you can visualize many of them. If you watch an actor on stage (or TV), and you are looking out for it, you will see body language used extensively.
In fact, in the craft of acting, body language is one of the most important skills. Body language is usually performed unconsciously in response to our feelings. So, an unskilled actor, not realizing this, and not having any real feelings relative to his role, neglects the body language. His performance thus seems clumsy and unconvincing. He speaks his lines without the appropriate gestures, actions and stances.
But a skilled actor either has the ability to consciously perform the body language, or he pretends he is actually living through the experience of the scene. This latter is sometimes called "method" acting. The actor then actually experiences the feelings of the role, and his body language comes naturally. He is thus more convincing in his role.
Dress for Success with Women
Perhaps the most important reason for being well dressed is the effect it has upon you. Certainly you are aware of how much better you feel when you are dressed up. Your confidence really soars. If you know you look sharp, your self-esteem is increased dramatically.
I have noticed that when I am well dressed, people definitely are friendlier and more receptive to me. Whether it is their favorable reaction to my appearance, or a reflection of my own confidence, I can't be sure. But the effect is very real, and a very important asset.
Nevertheless, you may sometimes find an opportunity to pick up a girl when you are in working clothes (and with some occupations you may get quite dirty). You should try anyway. Men are often quite successful in these situations. In fact sometimes the only opportunity you may get with a particular girl may be while working (or just after work). But we still feel that being well dressed and clean is an advantage; and you should strive for it if you have any choice in the matter.
Trying to Figure Women Out
Some men spend so much time looking and trying to figure out if the girl will give them a smile of encouragement (sometimes even without their making a move themselves) that they are actually staring at the girl. The girl does not like that at all, and gives them a hostile look, which can really scare them off.
Or, a man sees an good looking girl on a number of occasions. He smiles at her each time. She doesn't smile back, but he keeps smiling at her each time, and looking, looking, looking. She thinks, "Who is this creep that keeps leering at me every time I see him. I wish he would stop staring at me. " You should not do any of this. Simply decide you like the look of her, and approach her. Develop the idea of being a doer and not a watcher. While you are holding back, trying to be sure you won't be rejected by waiting for encouragement, you are only annoying her. Better to jump in and say something. The girl will like that a lot better. Shake things up. Something will happen!
There is an interesting experiment you can perform, which will show you some parts of this principle. Select a girl, in a public place, who is quite attractive, but who does not appear to want to be friendly. Let us say that when you look toward her with a slight smile on you face, she turns away looking quite serious. Then approach her with a simple request for help. Ask directions, or some other simple thing. That is all; you do not have to do more than that. Don't worry, you are not trying to pick her up.
Usually, her face will become very animated as she tells you the answer to your question. She will usually act in a much friendlier fashion. The "hands-off" sign will be taken down. No doubt, as you thank her and walk away, she will smile at you. You have shaken things up, a little. You have at least cracked that hard protective shell she placed around herself. You have at least become a person to her, and not a vague threat. It is a good idea to repeat this exercise a few times. It gives you a feel for approaching girls. It is quite educational.
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