Often in forming an image of someone, people are very closed minded. They don't use all of the information at hand. They have a preconception of what they want that person to be, and they only look for things that will verify that. This is true of racial bigotry, of people bound and determined to hate the boss, of Democrats listening to a Republican candidate speak (or vice versa), and even in everyday social activity. How many men have ignored the fact that a girl is a bitch because she is large-breasted and blonde?

The point of all this is that how you see yourself may be different from how others see you. And in your quest for success with women, it is very important that you find out how others perceive you. In order to do this, you must become very honest with yourself. You must listen to what people are saying to you. You must observe how people react towards you. You must analyze the feedback you get from people. Is it positive and consistent with what you expect to receive, or is it negative and different from what you should be receiving?

In other words, you may think of yourself as being a pretty sophisticated guy. After all, you have a PhD in English literature. But since you dress in coveralls, everyone thinks you are a hick, and this discrepancy in who you really are and how people perceive you mean you will not receive the credit you are due from others. Now if you are a hermit living alone out in the wilderness, you don't care about others, you know who you are and that's all that matters - then fine. But, if you are in the real world, you want to receive respect and credit from others, and specifically, you want to achieve success with women, then you must be infinitely aware of how people perceive you, and how you can present yourself so that the image others have is consistent with the real you.

This article is an excerpt from our best-selling book, "A Man's Guide to Women" at: