When doing research for my book, "How to Pick Up Women in Nightclubs" I interviewed several women who go to nightclubs to meet men. I asked questions about why they go to clubs, how they like to be approached, what kind of man turns them off and on, and what it would take for them to go home with a man.

These interviews can be summed up as follows:

1. Women go to nightclubs to dance and meet people.
2. Women like to be approached in a respectable manner. They don't like the aggressive approach and don't like to be treated like just another piece of meat.
3. Women like well-groomed, well-dressed men, with a pleasing personality.
4. Women dislike conceited, drunk, forward, and obese men.
5. A woman will leave the nightclub with you if you get her to like you.

All this may sound unimportant. You may think that you can easily think of something to say. Well, if you are quick-witted enough, you may be able to. But otherwise it is best to have your ammunition ready. If you are inexperienced in trying to pick up a girl there is a lot of pressure on you. It often happens that when you try to think of something to say your mind comes up with a blank.

We believe that this "filler" talk is more important than the opening line, particularly for a novice. It is easy to learn a good opening line, and just stop a girl and say it. But men who have tried pick-ups unsuccessfully always say that the big problem comes after the opening line, when the situation becomes awkward and it just didn't seem appropriate yet to introduce themselves. What you are grasping for at that point of the operation is common experience with the girl. After all, if you already knew the girl you would have no problem finding something to say. You would have plenty of common experience to talk about. But you don't. She is a complete stranger. So one of the best subjects of conversation is the common experience you are having at that moment –your attempt to meet her. Some philosophical discussion of that subject fits into the situation very well (at that instant, anyway).

Which women should you pursue? The answer is: The women that are interested in you. If a woman is not interested in you, then loving her from afar is not going to change that. Neither is calling her up every night asking her out, or being like a puppy dog, following her around, telling her how much you like her and that she is pretty. This kind of behavior is not what a woman is looking for in a man. Remember the eight elements. You aren't portraying an image of power. You aren't someone who is hard to get. Other women must not find you attractive, or you wouldn't be wasting your time with someone who treats you with disinterest. She doesn't need to use her powers of seduction on you. About the only thing you are to her is a pest.

The cardinal rule is: NEVER STAY ANYWHERE WHERE YOU'RE NOT APPRECIATED. If a girl is not interested, then that is that. Don't waste your time with people who aren't interested in you. Even if she looks like the girl of your dreams, it will lead nowhere if she's not interested. So move on to someone who is interested. By hanging around, you portray an image to her, and everyone else that you are a person who is found unattractive by women and worse - you are desperate.

What this all means is that, pursuing women who have shown an interest in you is going to increase your percent of success. It is, in fact, the only course of action that is going to lead to success. And that brings us to a very important skill that you have to develop. You must become perceptive enough to separate those women who are interested in you, from those who are not. This is a skill that is developed with a lot of practice and experience. Sometimes it is very difficult to recognize disinterest until you have experienced a girl who is interested in you. After all, most women try to spare men's feelings. People have to say no, and men often confuse politeness for interest. Believe us, if a woman is interested, she will make it very obvious. You will know for sure.

Here are some tactics to get the topless dancers to come to you so you can meet them:

1. See a dancer you are attracted to? Use your waitress to meet her. Write the following note on a piece of paper and have your waitress deliver it to her. "Hi, my name is_____, across the way in the blue sweater with brown hair and a mustache. I am attracted to you and would like to get to know you. Will you join me for a drink? I'll be disappointed if you don't. P.S. I'm not planning on buying any dances tonight, perhaps another night."

Does this work? You bet it does! Not 100% of the time, but if she comes over at least you know that you have captured her interest. It's up to you to capitalize on this opportunity.

2. If you see a dancer across the way that turns you on, motion for her to come over to your table and when she comes to you tell her this: "Hi you caught my eye earlier and I'd like to get to know you better. I don't plan on buying any dances tonight, but would you join me for a drink?" Always remember that if a dancer joins you for a drink you are not obligated to buy a dance from her.

Also, under no circumstances at any time are you obligated to buy a dancer a drink or a dance. But, if you don't at least buy them a drink, they won't spend much time with you normally and you've got to spend some time with them if you are going to get anywhere with them.

When doing research for my book on how to pick up women in nightclubs I interviewed women for this question: What Does it Take to Get You to Leave a Club with a Man?

Here are their answers:

Robin - "If I really get off to the guy and there's a lot of good vibrations between us."
Kerry - "I always take my car so I can drive over to a guy's apartment, if I like him."
Erika - "If he's good-looking, well-groomed, and has a good personality."
Valerie - "If I like him and he treats me like a lady, I'll leave with him. He must be a gentleman."
Paula - "I wouldn't leave a nightclub with a man unless I got to know him real well in the nightclub via conversation, dancing, etc."
Susan - "If he has what it takes! It depends. All men are different."

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Gail - "There is nothing in the world that could make me leave a nightclub with a man. If I wished to see the gentleman again and he wished to see me, perhaps we could exchange phone numbers, but definitely not the first night."
Debbie - "If I like the guy, I'll go home with him."
Erin - "I'll leave with him if he shows that he really likes me and not just using me."
Sandra - "To leave in separate cars."
Karen - "Trust. Either I have to know him for awhile or have a friend who says the guy is alright."
Kim - "If I like him a lot."

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Things like: "You know, a lot of people might be offended by someone trying to make friends (NOTE: Do not use the words "pick-up") with a stranger in public. But really it is just like meeting someone at a party," and" I like to think of it as a self-introduction. And why not? If you are impressed or attracted by someone, why shouldn't you come forward and say so?"

And "I've been around this area quite a while and I've noticed that people are a lot more casual in their way of talking to people. I mean, things are more open now. I suppose it is the permissive society we hear so much about." You should memorize the gist of some of these “filler" lines, or others like them. You probably can think of plenty others yourself.

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A few good filler lines that give you at least a weak additional excuse for stopping the girl are:

"Well, I just like to meet new people."

"You know, this is a good opportunity to meet new people," (beach, sporting event, or any occasion).

"I just like to talk to interesting people." (Then tell her why she interests you.)