If you are at leisure yourself, on a beach, in a restaurant, or on a park bench and an attractive girl walks by, you can take the opportunity to ask her to join you. You may want to put in some' 'filler'" talk if you don't get an immediate "Yes," (and she is wavering). Coaxing and kidding are good even if you get a weak "No."

"Aw come on, I need the company," etc., etc.

Dogs are wonderful conversation openers. Either the girl has a dog, which gives you the opportunity to admire it and ask its age, sex or breed. Then compare it with a dog you had. Introductions follow. Or, if you have a dog, chances are a girl will admire it. Even if she doesn't, you can reassure her jokingly, as you pass (or she passes you), that she need not be afraid, you will hold him tightly. Or he is very quiet (just like his owner). You can even solicit admiration of your animal. "Isn't he a beauty,” etc. Of course the advantage is that you have a common experience to share with the girl - the dog.

Outstandingly interesting cars, motorcycles, horses, or any other similar possessions can be used in the same way. Remember, girls are always interested (if they are available) in meeting new guys, and anything that gives them the opportunity is fine with them.

SENSUALITY TIP - It is very important that you are perceived by people as being sensuous and sexy - not as being a robot. You can do this through your voice, your body language, touching and eye contact. Get advice from your friends, observe others, or read up on the subject. It takes practice so don't be discouraged if you don't immediately feel comfortable projecting your sensuality.

CHARM

Charm is a pleasing presentation of your personality. People who are around someone with charm feel an excitement and an enjoyment of being with them. Women are most definitely drawn to a man with "charm."

HINT #1 - When you are with a girls make sure that your body language is open and comfortable to her. Make sure that your eye contact is on her and not darting around the room. Make sure your facial expression is one of enjoyment in being where you are and doing what you are doing.

HINT #2 - Keep the conversation directed at her. Avoid talking about yourself. Keep asking her questions about her job, her education, her love life, where she lives, anything to keep the conversation directed at her interests. She will feel comfortable with a topic that she knows something about and will be flattered by your interest in her.

HINT #3 - Notice things about her: Her new hairdo, her new clothes, her glasses, the books she is carrying - anything that will show her you are observant, sensitive, and interested in her and things that she is interested in.

Not listening to her. Nobody likes to be ignored. Failure to pay attention to her while she is talking is an insult. It is a form of rejection and nobody likes to feel rejected. Don't be pre-occupied with what's going on around you and tune her out. Don't focus on other topless dancers stripping while she's talking to you either.

If she's talking about a subject you have no interest in, don't spend your time trying to come up with ways to change the topic of conversation to something that you enjoy talking about. Hear here out!

Don't make this mistake either. Let's say she's talking about a subject you're really interested in and you get so anxious to put your two cents worth in and comments, you spend your time going over in your mind what you are going to say rather then listening attentively to her.

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You'll always find plenty of single, nice women at church.

Many churches have begun to sponsor activities for singles. These activities range from dances and trips to lectures and discussions, from seminars on communication to workshops on sexuality.

If the church doesn't have a singles group, you'll have to use the conventional approach. Pick out a church and start going there regularly. Each time you go make it a point to sit next to or near the woman of your choice. Try to be near this woman each time you go to church. You'll become old friends before too long. The first chance you get, ask her if you could talk to her after the service. She will probably say yes and you'll be on your way.

Men sometimes do pull off a "moving" pick-up, with just a few words like, "Hi! Do you want to go to a party?" and other similarly direct approaches. But we feel you will ruin a lot of good opportunities that way, even if you might be successful sometimes. But it is up to you, the reader, to decide. Maybe you want to try such direct approaches a few times and see how you do. At least it is very simple and easy to do. We think that the chance of success of a direct approach depends more on the appearance of the man than other approaches. If a girl is very impressed by a man's appearance, she may well go along with it. But if a man is more ordinary looking, she may not. Such a man would do better to build up his case more slowly, in the more conventional way.

Probably all of us have known some man who is an absolute natural at picking up girls. Maybe it is a combination of boyish good looks, disarming charm, quick wit and super confidence. But he can walk up to any girl and she will like him right away, almost instinctively. He can approach a girl and, with just a few words, take charge immediately - make a date with her, take her off to a party, or whatever. He has instant momentum. He is not apologetic, but rather, positive or even aggressive with his opening lines. Of course you envy him.

But don't try to copy him, unless you have the same attractive assets he has. You probably don't have, or you would be using them already.

People like that usually have been successful socially for a long time; that is why they seem so natural. Probably as a child they learned they had good looks and started learning how to use them to get the things they wanted. They were developing their charm. For you to try and learn to compete with that type of "class" would be like a middle-aged man saying, "I'm going to learn to play tennis, and beat John McEnroe." Hyping up your confidence is one thing, but overreaching and falling flat on your face only destroys confidence. Be realistic. Don't waste your time trying to be someone you can't be. Settle for a little slower (and surer) approach. Develop a style that can work for you first. You may be able to improve your methods later.

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