Don't Wait For Signs

This brings us to what I believe is the most important point in this book: IF YOU FIND A GIRL ATTRACTIVE, APPROACH HER AND TRY TO MEET HER. DO NOT BE INFLUENCED BY ANY ENCOURAGEMENT, OR LACK OF ENCOURAGEMENT, FROM HER BEFORE YOU APPROACH HER.

A great fallacy, shared by many men, is that the best pick-up method is to catch a girl's eye, smile and maybe say, "Hi." “Then, if she responds, to follow up and meet her. This does work, of course, and any time a girl gives you a "come on" whether you made any friendly gesture or not, you should follow through, if you find her attractive. But the big mistake is to assume that because she didn't return your smile, she will not be interested in you. As we have already explained, many girls (if not most) do not believe in smiling back at strangers. This is particularly true with very attractive girls. In the past they have probably been bothered a lot by all kinds of guys annoying them. So they adopt an unfriendly, aloof attitude in public which acts like a "hands-off' sign to keep off unwelcome attention. Nevertheless, they may still be available, and receptive, to a nice, friendly approach by an interesting man. So, to follow up only with girls who smile back is really quite foolish.

90% of the battle of meeting women is a matter of putting yourself in the right position. This may sound too obvious to mention, but you will never meet a woman unless you put yourself in the right place to do so. There are many men out there who simply do not put out the time and effort to put themselves where they will find women. And when their social life never gets off the ground, they have only themselves to blame.

In the last chapter, we discussed "where to find women." And so if you've done your homework and you have put yourself in the right places, you now come to the next step - meeting women. How do you meet women? Any way possible.

The most common generality that women make about men is: "Men are all the same- either they are handing you a line to get laid or they want to get married." The quickest way to get a girl's attention is to make sure you don't appear to be doing wither of these. To be different from all the other men, don't ask a girl out the first time you meet her. Be friendly, interested in her and then walk away without a "come-on." She will be unsure of your intentions - which are just what you want. These are the basic principles for success when meeting women.

1. Be distinctive and different.
2. Don't be coming - on to her.

The methods of meeting a girl range from walking up and saying, "Hi, I wanted to meet you," to long drawn out elaborate ploys. With experience you will learn to read situations to be able to tell what would be the best method for that girl, that time, and that place. We have some examples of meeting women that we and friends of ours have used. They are all creative and spontaneous:

Be sure your timing is good. Imagine you are being given an explanation of how to slow cook a roast. "Then you slow-cook the roast in a crock pot." If you don't know what a crock pot is, now is the time to ask. If you wait until the recipe is completed before asking, "What is a crock pot?" you come across as an uncaring listener.

Asking a question at the appropriate time shows you are listening to her and understand what is being said. In contrast, if you are told all about her trip to Hawaii and at the end of the story ask, "So where did you stay when you first got there?" you will come across as an insincere listener, someone who is asking out of politeness and not paying attention. Remember, if you listen carefully and concentrate on what she is saying, you will be able to ask the right questions at the right time.

I sincerely hope you're not one of those men who go to strip joints just to watch the exotic dancers. Most men do and they don't know what they are missing out on. These women can be picked up and are generally easy to meet. A lot of guys don't even try to pick them up and it's a shame because these girls need lovin just like any other girl.

How do you approach these women? Well, normally they will be approaching you, possibly to hustle you for drinks or a table dance. Don't hold this against them and think they're just trying to take you for a ride. They're just trying to make a living and they get a commission on these drinks.

You might as well face the facts that you just might have to buy them a drink or table dance to talk to them. These can be house rules.

Buy them a drink or two, it won't kill you. Just be nice to them and treat them with respect and you can get somewhere with them.

We all like to think of ourselves as living in a society where everything is in its proper place. Everything is taken into account. The people who do bad things are punished. The people who are clever, or who work hard, are rewarded. It is idealistic, but we try to organize every detail of our society into this system of order. We strive to have an answer to everything. We try to judge everything. Even if we do not have enough facts about something, we judge it anyway. We suppose our justification is that it is better to have an imperfect assessment of something than none at all. This is the basis of prejudice. It is also the origin of many questionable social customs and superstitions. Some social customs are in a kind of fringe area.

For example, striking up a friendship or conversation with a stranger in public, particularly one of the opposite sex, is still considered to be a little in bad taste. This is probably because of the uncertain factors involved. But on closer examination we find that it is indeed a very useful practice. The dangers and uncertainties are no greater than those in other forms of social contact. Customs and traditions still persist, however, and many people have vague misgivings about approaches by strangers.

Now let's get back to the statement of making yourself interested in a girl that may not be the girl of your dreams. Simply this: It is always better to involve yourself with women, even if your interest is low, than to be involved with no one at all.

1. As soon as you start dating one girl you meet her friends, and thus many more women.
2. Her friends are most likely going to find you attractive. After all, their friend does. And they will be comfortable around you. You are safe. Not some guy "on the make."
3. You put yourself in a position where you aren't so desperate.
4. If that "10" does come along, she will see that you are found attractive by other women, and that will help in your pursuit of her.

5. To not be involved with other women is social suicide. We have met many friends who are so particular that they sit around avoiding any involvement waiting for the perfect girl to come along. Unfortunately, when potentially perfect girls do come along, they perceive these as being boring. After all if he isn’t involved with other women, he must not have anything going for him.
6. If nothing else, it's good practice. And practice makes perfect.
7. The final word: Involve yourself with as many women s possible - the rich get richer. A girl that you may not find attractive may lead (directly or indirectly) to someone your do find attractive.

Keep Your Ears Open

An iceberg statement is a piece of free information in which 90 percent is under the surface, waiting to be asked about. These statements are hints of what she would really like to talk about. An example is "Oh, thank you. I got these earrings when I was working at a topless club in Dallas." The speaker wants you to ask a follow-up question: "When were you in Dallas?"

People are usually hesitant to compliment themselves. She may complain to you that none of her clothes fit anymore because they're too big. If you are a sensitive listener, you may realize she is really telling you she has lost weight and would like some praise. Be alert for such clues.