We believe that it is useful to consider that the operation of a pick-up consists of three phases:

Phase I. The approach, opening lines and introduction.

Phase II. Familiarization. Getting to know each other. Establishing trust and liking. Getting Personal.

Phase III. Getting intimate. The process of moving from friend to lover.

Each of these Phases is a progressive step toward your final goal. As in baseball, you get to First Base, then Second Base, etc., etc.

You can actually make a mental note that you have completed one phase and are into the next. This gives you the feeling of progress and improves your confidence considerably. Instead of flying blind, you are now following a plan.

Another important reason for being aware of the phase you are in is that you (usually) should use a different approach in each phase. In the FIRST PHASE, we have found it is usually best to be polite, apologetic and accommodating. This is the time for: "Excuse me Ma' am," "I hope you don't mind me talking to you like this," etc.

In the SECOND PHASE, the apologetic attitude should be dropped completely. Now you are trying to impress the girl with your stronger qualities, such as decisiveness and courage.

In the THIRD PHASE your attitude can be adapted to your own personal preference, or the girl's reaction. In some situations a tender, understanding attitude may be appropriate. In others, a more aggressive attitude is desirable. In others, a casual, humorous approach would seem best. You must decide this yourself.

Remember, if you make your moves step-by-step, phase after phase, you should be successful.

THE CARDINAL RULE OF LIFE

"Never stay where you are not appreciated."

This applies to all phases of life - jobs, sports, and social activities - but it especially applies to dealing with women.

If a girl is not interested in you, then that is that. Nothing you can do is going to change it. Don't waste time with people who aren't into you. Even if she looks like the girl of your dreams, it will lead nowhere so move on. By hanging around this girl, you portray an image to her and everyone else that you are a person who is found unattractive by women. And worse, you are used to it. After all, if you had other women who were attracted to you why would you be hanging around her?

When are you not being appreciated? When you are the only one putting energy into the relationship. You are the glue holding the whole thing together. She is neither showing nor giving any effort or energy towards being with you. She's not making herself available to get together. She lacks enthusiasm. In sum, when trying to get something to develop is a struggle. If you experience these symptoms and recognize the lack of "magic" present when two people are mutually interested, don't try any remedies - just leave. Don't make a speech, or a scene, or an issue. Simply bow out gracefully and pursue girls who are interested in you. You will be doing yourself and everyone else a big favor.

As a general rule, it is best to arrive early at a nightclub so you can check out the action. If you arrive late, sometimes most of the women will be taken up. Of course there are some nightclubs that do not get going until after midnight. Most women start coming in from 9-11 PM, as a general rule. The women who are shift workers start coming in after 11PM. Ideally, the best time to arrive is around 9PM. This way you can see what comes through the door and size up your prospects for the night.

Don't worry about getting a table in the beginning because you are going to be on your feet making the rounds. However, if there is a female prospect sitting at the bar, by all means go and sit beside her and strike up a conversation.

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When the action starts picking up, there's going to be favorable places to be standing while approaching the women.

A girl you are trying to pick up

is in a situation similar to the salesman's customer. She probably did not go out in a public place with the idea of getting picked up. In fact, if she were asked if she wanted to be picked up, she would probably truthfully say, "No." Nevertheless, most unattached girls have a vague underlying desire for romance and adventure. They probably would be intrigued by a pick up attempt, but at the start, some might not be convinced that they should agree to forming a relationship with you, a stranger. They would still need to be sold on the idea. It is like coaxing someone into a pool when the weather is just a little bit cool. You say, "Come on in; the water is fine when you get used to it.” The person probably knows that is true, but needs a little coaxing to take the plunge.

So, if you can continue to create a favorable image of yourself, by a continued exposure of your personality, you are progressively getting her more and more accustomed to the idea of becoming, at least, a friend. You are winning her respect and trust. You are selling her the idea of a relationship between the two of you. Remember, you are playing for time. The longer you can expose the girl to your personality, the better impression you make.

Being decisive is one of the surest ways to demonstrate your leadership and confidence. Women want the man to take the lead and make the decisions and they are judging men on how well they do it.

TIP #1 - Don't stand there hemming and hawing. Be ready with options, and be ready to pick one. Always remember that it is your responsibility to make the decision, so take that responsibility.

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TIP #2 - If plans change such as a sold out movie, don't stand there saying, "Gee, now what?" Make a decision quickly on what to do. If you need more time to decide, excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, make at all, or anything so you aren't just standing there looking indecisive.

TIP #3 - At a restaurant, choose your order quickly. At a bar, know what you want to drink. After the movie, know where you want to go.

The following is some advice on picking up topless dancers:

Yes, some dancers do drugs or drink alcohol to get high and use it as a crutch to make her more comfortable in taking her clothes off. The topless club scene lends itself to the drug scene. There are guys trying to score with topless dancers by offering them drugs, dancers sharing drugs with other dancers, undercover agents trying to sell drugs, etc.

Some clubs monitor the dancers for drugs and they will fire you if you're caught. Other clubs just don't care what the dancers do. Should you
reject a dancer that appears to be drunk or high on drugs? No, because she may be feeling rather loose and perhaps even horny and this can be to your advantage by making your prey easier to catch. Plus, you may be able to talk her into a free table dance.

That's why it's better to go to topless clubs just before closing time. Later in the night the dancers may be drunk or high and under these influences they may shed their inhibitions. Also, if they appear to be drunk or high while giving you a table dance, be sure and ask her to show you her bush. Legally she's not supposed to do that in a topless club, but being that she's under the influence she just may do it.

One final word of advice. If it's obvious that she's drunk or high don't come on real strong and be sexually aggressive with her. She may think you're trying to take advantage of her because she's loaded. Just be friendly with her and treat her with respect.

Psyching yourself up and making preparations before going to a nightclub are very important. Be sure and get a good nights sleep before you go out. At least seven to eight hours will be sufficient. Eat a good steak dinner with your choice of vegetables prior to going out. This will put a lining on your stomach if you do a lot of heavy drinking and besides that, it will make you feel good.

If you don't have any good dancing records, buy as many as you can afford. There is a reason for this. A couple of hours before you leave, play your favorite records, or if you have a favorite radio station, turn that on. The purpose of this is to get you in the mood for dancing and the nightclub scene.

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If you drink, while you are relaxing and listening to the music, drink some of your favorite wine or mixed drinks. Also, taking a hot bath is very relaxing. It's a lot cheaper to drink at home than it is at the clubs. So try to do most of your drinking at home if you want to save some money.

While you are relaxing, picture in your minds eye, meeting some hot and sexy lady

at the nightclub. Actually see yourself talking to her, dancing with her, feeling your body rub against her during a slow song, etc. Feel her body next to yours, feel her crotch grinding against yours. See yourself leaving the nightclub and taking her to your place or going to her place or just leaving to get a bite to eat.

You are probably wondering what's the purpose of creating all these images in your mind. These images will register in your subconscious mind and when you get to the nightclub your subconscious mind will give directions to your conscious mind to act them out. Don't be disappointed if this does not work the first time because it takes repetition for this to soak into your subconscious mind. Also, all day long on the day you're going out, keep telling yourself over and over, "I'm going to meet a special lady tonight." You will be amazed at the results. This will also help you develop a positive mental attitude and build up your self-confidence.