In fact, with some men, persistence and not taking "no" for an answer is their main pick-up tactic. When they approach a girl, unless she tells them she is married or attached, they will just not give up. They will follow her. They will keep asking her to stop and speak to them, or join them for a drink. They might say, "Now look, you might as well agree to talk to me. I'll keep bothering you until you do. I want to meet you and I won't give up until I do." When this approach is done in a pleasant manner it is quite effective. You must decide if you want to be that aggressive.

There is a psychological point in this. By refusing to accept her refusal, the man is engaging in a power contest. He is demonstrating strength of character, which women usually find attractive in a man. Having been impressed in this manner, she often will change her mind and decide that she would like to meet him, after all.

MAKE YOURSELF AVAILABLE

Now you are aware of the value of being perceptive enough to know if a woman is interested in you. This is a good time to mention that it is your job to give women an opportunity to make their interest known to you. As we said before, no matter where you are - at work, school, play, always be ready to make yourself available. This is more of an art than a science. You have to use imagination to be able to adapt to each situation. It is important that you appear to be genuinely friendly and not just another hustler.

The most basic approach, of course, is a warm smile and a friendly "Hi." If she is interested or intrigued in you, her response will show it. In the next chapter, we will give many examples of meeting women in creative ways.

Be Sensitive To Her Responses

If she gives you a brief response, she may not wish to discuss the topic for a particular reason. Be sensitive to unenthusiastic responses, and be ready to change to a new topic quickly when you feel you have touched on a high-sensitivity or low-interest area for her.

Avoiding Sensitive Topics

What do you do if she brings up a subject that you feel is inappropriate? These are subjects that are in poor taste or which may make you feel uncomfortable - a racial slur, for example. You can show that you don't share this opinion, but without making a fuss about it. You might simply say, "I don't really agree with that," or "I'm sure we can find more pleasant things to talk about." Now, since you made the suggestion to change the subject, it's up to you to do just that. Pick up the conversational ball quickly and open a new topic of discussion by making a comment or asking an open-ended question based on free information that heard earlier.

HOW TO READ DISINTEREST

We will dwell a little more on these signs, since most men find it hard to recognize or just plain don't want to recognize these signs:

1. She won't make herself available. Even though they may sound like valid excuses, if she were interested, she would make herself available to see you. If arranging a date to get together becomes a struggle and you are the only one working on the problem, move on.
2. Conversations will be awkward and forced. After all, you are the only one trying to keep it going.

3. Conversations and the tone in her voice will be neutral. Not necessarily negative, but they will be absent of that up-beat, positive mood.
4. The important thing to remember is that most girls don't want to hurt your feelings. So if they aren't interested, they will be just neutral in their tone and expect you to pick up the fact that there is an absence of a "come on" in their manner. Man y men will assume that since a girl hasn't come out and said "drop dead," then maybe she is interested. Don't forget, if you aren't sure whether or not a girl is interested in you, then she probably is not. When a girl is interested, she will let you know.

Conversation Pitfalls

When talking about things that excite and interest you, here are some pitfalls you'll want to avoid:

1. Don't dominate the conversation with your own enthusiasms. Be sensitive to how much time you devote to your own subject without hearing again from the other person. It's alright to let her know what turns you on, but be aware that she may not necessarily want to hear everything you have to say about that topic.
2. Avoid Jargon or technical terms when discussing topics with her and she isn't familiar with the subject. You can give her an inside look at what excites you about the topic, rather than overly specific details.
3. Be careful not to lecture or try to "sell" her on what you believe in, regardless of how strongly you believe in it or how important you feel it is.

She may want to learn more about a subject that interests you, but they don't necessarily wish to be converted to your point of view.
4. Don't tell personal secrets in the early stages of a friendship with a topless
dancer. Of course, it's flattering to her to be told something confidential, but if this is early on in a friendship, the person is likely to think, "If he tells me such personal things right off, he probably tells everyone." Wait until the time is right, and you've established trust.
5. Don't try to override her point of view with your superior knowledge of a subject. Be receptive to her point of view and listen to what she has to say. Then, when it's your turn to give your opinion, she will be more receptive and open to your ideas.

Take a real good look around you when you're at work. Depending on how large of company you work for and what type of work you do, you're going to see a lot of eligible women. Don't pass up the opportunities to meet women. You can make a lot of social contacts, being that you spend a lot of your time at work.

At a very large company you may actually have anywhere from a hundred to a thousand women to choose from. Talk about heaven on earth! Places of employment are hot beds for romance and behind the scenes activities.

How do you approach women at work? Just introduce yourself. Say, "Hi, my name is ______. I work in the _____ dept. Being that we work for the same company, I thought I'd intro-duce myself." Then carry on a conversation from there. Don't forget to charm and compliment her.

After you've gotten to know her and established some rapport, ask her out to lunch. Who knows, that could lead to an intimate relationship.

A word about any new women at work. Be sure and hit up on them right away. Don't let the other men beat you to the punch. Welcome her to the company and try and make her feel at home. Introduce her to your co-¬workers. Invite her to join your lunch group for something to eat.

Finally, don't pass up any company parties, picnics, trips, bowling or softball leagues, banquets, etc. These are great for meeting and mingling with your female co-workers.

A Dry Run

A great approach to pick ups (if you are a little shy) is to do a dry run. You can pretend to yourself that all you are interested in is meeting a girl. Your purpose is purely platonic. You take her somewhere for coffee, or make a future date. You don't have to try hard to impress her. You are only interested in her company on a friendly basis. You can even talk to her exactly as you would a man friend. This takes a lot of pressure off of you; you’ve made no commitment.

Then later, if you choose, when you know her better, you can bring sex into the picture. She will probably be wondering why you hadn't done it sooner. The idea is to meet the girl first, then decide if you want to move in on her. Maybe she will decide to move in on you, but don't count on it. Most women still look to men to be the leaders in sexual encounters, although she may give you some encouragement.