Be sure your timing is good. Imagine you are being given an explanation of how to slow cook a roast. "Then you slow-cook the roast in a crock pot." If you don't know what a crock pot is, now is the time to ask. If you wait until the recipe is completed before asking, "What is a crock pot?" you come across as an uncaring listener.

Asking a question at the appropriate time shows you are listening to her and understand what is being said. In contrast, if you are told all about her trip to Hawaii and at the end of the story ask, "So where did you stay when you first got there?" you will come across as an insincere listener, someone who is asking out of politeness and not paying attention. Remember, if you listen carefully and concentrate on what she is saying, you will be able to ask the right questions at the right time.

I sincerely hope you're not one of those men who go to strip joints just to watch the exotic dancers. Most men do and they don't know what they are missing out on. These women can be picked up and are generally easy to meet. A lot of guys don't even try to pick them up and it's a shame because these girls need lovin just like any other girl.

How do you approach these women? Well, normally they will be approaching you, possibly to hustle you for drinks or a table dance. Don't hold this against them and think they're just trying to take you for a ride. They're just trying to make a living and they get a commission on these drinks.

You might as well face the facts that you just might have to buy them a drink or table dance to talk to them. These can be house rules.

Buy them a drink or two, it won't kill you. Just be nice to them and treat them with respect and you can get somewhere with them.

We all like to think of ourselves as living in a society where everything is in its proper place. Everything is taken into account. The people who do bad things are punished. The people who are clever, or who work hard, are rewarded. It is idealistic, but we try to organize every detail of our society into this system of order. We strive to have an answer to everything. We try to judge everything. Even if we do not have enough facts about something, we judge it anyway. We suppose our justification is that it is better to have an imperfect assessment of something than none at all. This is the basis of prejudice. It is also the origin of many questionable social customs and superstitions. Some social customs are in a kind of fringe area.

For example, striking up a friendship or conversation with a stranger in public, particularly one of the opposite sex, is still considered to be a little in bad taste. This is probably because of the uncertain factors involved. But on closer examination we find that it is indeed a very useful practice. The dangers and uncertainties are no greater than those in other forms of social contact. Customs and traditions still persist, however, and many people have vague misgivings about approaches by strangers.

Now let's get back to the statement of making yourself interested in a girl that may not be the girl of your dreams. Simply this: It is always better to involve yourself with women, even if your interest is low, than to be involved with no one at all.

1. As soon as you start dating one girl you meet her friends, and thus many more women.
2. Her friends are most likely going to find you attractive. After all, their friend does. And they will be comfortable around you. You are safe. Not some guy "on the make."
3. You put yourself in a position where you aren't so desperate.
4. If that "10" does come along, she will see that you are found attractive by other women, and that will help in your pursuit of her.

5. To not be involved with other women is social suicide. We have met many friends who are so particular that they sit around avoiding any involvement waiting for the perfect girl to come along. Unfortunately, when potentially perfect girls do come along, they perceive these as being boring. After all if he isn’t involved with other women, he must not have anything going for him.
6. If nothing else, it's good practice. And practice makes perfect.
7. The final word: Involve yourself with as many women s possible - the rich get richer. A girl that you may not find attractive may lead (directly or indirectly) to someone your do find attractive.

Keep Your Ears Open

An iceberg statement is a piece of free information in which 90 percent is under the surface, waiting to be asked about. These statements are hints of what she would really like to talk about. An example is "Oh, thank you. I got these earrings when I was working at a topless club in Dallas." The speaker wants you to ask a follow-up question: "When were you in Dallas?"

People are usually hesitant to compliment themselves. She may complain to you that none of her clothes fit anymore because they're too big. If you are a sensitive listener, you may realize she is really telling you she has lost weight and would like some praise. Be alert for such clues.

Adult Education Classes and University Extension Courses

Most good-sized communities in the United States offer adult education courses. The courses are varied and offer something for everyone. The classes are held at convenient times for full time workers and are available at no cost or for a small fee.

These courses are an excellent channel for meeting women.

The key to it all is to take courses that appeal to women. Let me offer some suggestions of courses that will be made up of mostly women: Interior decorating, arts and crafts, cooking, ballet, astrology, handwriting analysis, tarot, tennis, writing, etc. By taking these courses you will be one of the few men in the class. You will be surrounded by women and you will get all the attention and you will be in demand. The women will be literally fighting amongst themselves for your attention.

Let me tell you about my friend Bill who took a cooking class at my urging. This is what he told me about the class: "Well, there were fifteen women in the class and I was the only guy. Most of them were single and most of them were around my age. Now, I've only been to three of the classes and have three more to go and I've already dated four of the women...and I'm becoming a great cook on top of it. You know Don, this was a really great idea of yours. Probably none of these women would have talked to me if I had approached them in a supermarket or on the street, but no woman refuses to talk to you over a pasta."

A word of advice. Arrive at the classes early. Everyone sits around and shoots the bull and the atmosphere is very relaxed and there's no pressure to meet someone like in a singles bar. By arriving early you can make the rounds and converse with the women before class.

If you feel you are in command of the situation right from the start you can simply make your opening line, "Hi! What's your name?" This would be typical if you had some eye contact and positive response from the girl prior to your approach.

Another situation can involve a girl who just won't give you her name, although she will continue to talk to you. She may be teasing you, or she may be reluctant to introduce herself. In either case you should keep talking to her, but keep returning to the subject of her name and coaxing her to tell you.

Of course a lot can depend on the circumstances. Sometimes the situation is such that it is quite appropriate for a full introduction right away. Such would be the case if it were apparent that you and the girl were going to be engaged together in some activity, like a game of tennis, a ski run, a dance, or sharing a table (dining or drinking); or if the girl was particularly friendly.

It is good to know the girl's name as soon as possible, since calling her by name in conversation is a very important step in establishing friendship.

Sometimes, if you find yourself placed in a casual situation with a girl where you can start talking naturally (without any pressure) you may want to talk a while before an introduction. Such a situation would be if you both were in a waiting situation, such as a bus stop, waiting room, etc. The introduction can then be done casually. "By the way, my name is etc. etc."