You will probably have noticed that we are suggesting a lot of talking during the FIRST PHASE of "moving" situations (other than when requesting help). We believe this is best, since you are often in a tenuous situation. You have managed to stop the girl, but she may be uneasy, a bit embarrassed, and inclined to go on her way to prevent further embarrassment. However, as long as you keep talking, she feels compelled to remain and listen. Your talking has a soothing effect, and after a little while she will settle down and be more at ease. It is good for you to talk with a rambling style of sentence structure, inviting comments from her, and try to stimulate her to relate to what you are saying. This should be done after your opening line, but before you introduce yourself.

You cannot be a man of few words in this situation (not usually). You should be prepared to carry the initiative for a while. That is, keep it rolling. If you dry up after saying just a few words, there will be an awkward silence, and she will be gone. Words are the lubricant that keeps the FIRST PHASE of the pick-up operation rolling. You should have a good supply ready. Clichés are just fine for this purpose. Just about anything is O.K., but a good idea is to hover around the subject of justifying your pick-up attempt.

Things like: "You know, a lot of people might be offended by someone trying to make friends (NOTE: Do not use the words "pick-up") with a stranger in public. But really it is just like meeting someone at a party," and" I like to think of it as a self-introduction. And why not? If you are impressed or attracted by someone, why shouldn't you come forward and say so?"

And "I've been around this area quite a while and I've noticed that people are a lot more casual in their way of talking to people. I mean, things are more open now. I suppose it is the permissive society we hear so much about." You should memorize the gist of some of these “filler" lines, or others like them. You probably can think of plenty others yourself.

Stop Her to Meet Her

Another way is to state the obvious, by saying, "Excuse me for stopping you, but I noticed you walking along and decided I'd like to meet you. I hope you don't mind my being so forward, but I believe that if you want something you should come right out and ask. Don't you agree?" All this should be said convincingly and sincerely. This should not be hard; it is the truth anyway.

If you get any kind of satisfactory answer, you can follow up with, "Anyway, my name is..., what's yours?"

This type of approach can be applied with your “noticing the girl walking along" as she approaches you, and then with your speaking to her as you come together. But it also works very well if you let her get right past you and then double back, come up behind her, and make your approach. Sometimes you may not decide to make an approach until after she has passed. Don't worry, this is fine; you can go back and catch up with her. What you say is still valid – in fact it is even better. It allows some time lapse, and she feels gratified that she made such an impression that you had to come after her. The wording of your approach should be a bit different if you go back after her.

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You should say, "Excuse me, but I saw you walking by a minute ago and I decided right then that I had to meet you. I hope you don't mind. ...etc." It often happens that she gives you a friendly glance as she passes which prompts you to go back after her. Then you can be sure she will welcome your approach. But even if she doesn't give you a glance of encouragement, you should still follow up if you are attracted.

This is an overlooked place to meet women. These places are just crawling with women. With a little confidence, this is an excellent place to approach women. Here's some examples of approaches to use: Hang around the meat section and when you see a woman you'd like to meet, approach her and ask her, "How long do you broil chicken?" Then you can follow up with, "Gee, I wish I knew how to cook. How did you learn to cook? Did your mother teach you?" The main objective is to get a conversation going and see if she'd like to get together sometime. Another good place for the approach is in the produce department. Just pick out the vegetable of your choice and ask her how to cook it.

Another of the more difficult techniques is to approach the girl with a challenging attitude. This puts the girl into a defensive role. The man' 'takes charge" of the encounter. Many girls are impressed by men who can do this.

The man might challenge the girl with, "What's your name?" or, "Hey!

I haven't seen you around here before." And as they talk, continue to ask searching questions.

Some strong willed girls resent such an approach, and may answer, "None of your business."


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Men who use this technique are usually most interested in finding girls who will allow them to be dominant. So, their approach is also a selective process. They are not interested in the strong willed girls and are quite happy to back off when they encounter one. Luckily for them, there are plenty of girls around who actually prefer that the man take the stronger hand in a relationship.

Of course this type of approach requires that the man be very confident, self -assured, and able to handle the rejections he will get.

If you deliver your opening line to the girl knowing you have plenty to say afterwards (until you introduce yourself) you will be much more confident in both your initial approach and your opening line.

Now don't get the wrong idea here. We do not mean you have to ramble on at length before you introduce yourself. It should be a very short speech, at most 10-20 seconds. Sometimes it will not be necessary at all; it all depends on the girl's reaction. In many cases she will respond immediately to your opening line, in a friendly, warm way. You should then introduce yourself immediately. We are concerned more with the occasion where the girl is a little hesitant. You should only continue with the "filler" until she seems to be accepting the idea of meeting you.


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If your “filler" attempt makes you sound like you are struggling with the situation, it doesn't matter. If you are squirming somewhat, trying to justify your actions in trying to pick up the girl, this is fine. You are talking - that is the main thing -and she is listening. You are really not trying to convince her. She probably agrees with you anyway. When she shows signs of accepting your attempt to meet her, you should then proceed to introduce yourself. Your looking a little worried after your opening line is actually very good for your case. It makes you look more real, more believable. The girl tends to think, "This nice guy is worried about my being offended when he is trying to meet me. Yes! I do agree with him. He should be able to talk to me if he wants to." It tends to put her on your side, with the conventions of society the villain. She should then give you some encouragement, and you can introduce yourself. Unless she is unavailable, and she should tell you that quickly enough.

Really! Talk, talk, talk. Keep talking. That's what it's all about. So have your ammunition ready.

All this may sound unimportant. You may think that you can easily think of something to say. Well, if you are quick-witted enough, you may be able to. But otherwise it is best to have your ammunition ready. If you are inexperienced in trying to pick up a girl there is a lot of pressure on you. It often happens that when you try to think of something to say your mind comes up with a blank.

We believe that this "filler" talk is more important than the opening line, particularly for a novice. It is easy to learn a good opening line, and just stop a girl and say it. But men who have tried pick-ups unsuccessfully always say that the big problem comes after the opening line, when the situation becomes awkward and it just didn't seem appropriate yet to introduce themselves. What you are grasping for at that point of the operation is common experience with the girl. After all, if you already knew the girl you would have no problem finding something to say. You would have plenty of common experience to talk about. But you don't. She is a complete stranger. So one of the best subjects of conversation is the common experience you are having at that moment –your attempt to meet her. Some philosophical discussion of that subject fits into the situation very well (at that instant, anyway).

Things like: "You know, a lot of people might be offended by someone trying to make friends (NOTE: Do not use the words "pick-up") with a stranger in public. But really it is just like meeting someone at a party," and" I like to think of it as a self-introduction. And why not? If you are impressed or attracted by someone, why shouldn't you come forward and say so?"

And "I've been around this area quite a while and I've noticed that people are a lot more casual in their way of talking to people. I mean, things are more open now. I suppose it is the permissive society we hear so much about." You should memorize the gist of some of these “filler" lines, or others like them. You probably can think of plenty others yourself.

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A few good filler lines that give you at least a weak additional excuse for stopping the girl are:

"Well, I just like to meet new people."

"You know, this is a good opportunity to meet new people," (beach, sporting event, or any occasion).

"I just like to talk to interesting people." (Then tell her why she interests you.)

You will probably have noticed that we are suggesting a lot of talking during the FIRST PHASE of "moving" situations (other than when requesting help). We believe this is best, since you are often in a tenuous situation. You have managed to stop the girl, but she may be uneasy, a bit embarrassed, and inclined to go on her way to prevent further embarrassment. However, as long as you keep talking, she feels compelled to remain and listen. Your talking has a soothing effect, and after a little while she will settle down and be more at ease. It is good for you to talk with a rambling style of sentence structure, inviting comments from her, and try to stimulate her to relate to what you are saying. This should be done after your opening line, but before you introduce yourself.

You cannot be a man of few words in this situation (not usually). You should be prepared to carry the initiative for a while. That is, keep it rolling. If you dry up after saying just a few words, there will be an awkward silence, and she will be gone. Words are the lubricant that keeps the FIRST PHASE of the pick-up operation rolling. You should have a good supply ready. Clichés are just fine for this purpose. Just about anything is O.K., but a good idea is to hover around the subject of justifying your pick-up attempt.

{1) You dry up after starting a conversation. You can't think of anything interesting to say. What you should do is prepare yourself and have ideas ready. Before you even approach a girl you should have a whole array of subjects and activities in your mind and ready. Much suitable material is included in later chapters.

(2) You can't get girls to consider you as a lover, even though you can start a conversation and have no difficulty keeping it going. This is a very common problem. It is usually the result of being too timid in your actions and conversation. A bolder attitude should be introduced into your general manner, as early in a relationship as you can manage it. This is discussed at length later.

1. Use compliments whenever they are appropriate.
2. Try to be exciting, and not dull.
3. Get introduced and call her by name as soon as you can.
4. Be polite and apologetic in FIRST PHASE. Be more positive in SECOND PHASE.
Talk more in FIRST PHASE. Listen more in SECOND PHASE.
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5. Remember, you can ease into it, and put the pressure on later.
6. Be ready to respond if a girl gives you a "come on.”

They say the eyes are the mirrors to the soul. And you can use the power of your eyes to influence single women to be attracted to you. You can even literally seduce single women with your eyes. Follow these guidelines to use your eyes to capture the hearts of single sexy women for love, sex, and romance:
Use your eyes to attract single women. Gaze into her eyes as you smile at her. It will make your message much more personal. When you see single women who look interesting, turn toward them and let your gaze linger a little longer. A suggestion of a wink while you're smiling gives an unmistakable come-hither look.
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In conversation, look into the eyes of the woman you're talking with. Direct eye contact says, "I'm listening. I want to hear more." To show agreement and interest, occasionally raise and lower your eyebrows. When she's talking, listen with your eyes as well as your ears. If you look away, you may signify, "I'm bored" or "I don't agree." The result will usually be a short and unfulfilling conversation. However, to look away while speaking is natural. It's a sign that the topic is being shifted or that thoughts are being collected. A pause while glancing away usually means an uncompleted thought, signaling, "I haven't finished. Don't interrupt."

Make yourself comfortable. Put on some of your favorite music in the background. Soft music, music with a romantic undertone, as you prefer. Dim the lights (but not so low that you are unable to read your project book, wall chart, or index cards). Have a glass of water within reach. Take a deep breath and punch those numbers.
"Hello, I'm John Smith. No, I'm not peddling insurance, just my own sweet self. I'm the fellow who asked you for your phone number last night at the art gallery. Time to let her talk. Keep enough presence of mind to make the appropriate noises and grunts at the right times to let her know you're still there. Laugh at her funnies. Encourage her. Administer verbal strokes and smiles, as necessary.
Speak in your natural voice... you need not strain. Take care not to dwell overly much on yourself. I, I, I, I... talking about I and me constantly is boring, boring. Ask her about herself, question her *gently*. Let her talk. Listen. Listen. Respond. Pepper the conversation with humor, genuine good humor. Humor is the saving grace of human discourse.
There is an abundance, a veritable universe to talk about, to share:
1. Tell her about the time you almost skidded off the overpass because you were trying to juggle a soft drink and a baloney sandwich.
2. Share your most embarrassing moments growing up.
3. Explain why the sky gets dark at night (Olber's Paradox).
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4. Discuss the implications of not helping the refugees of Kosovo.
5. Discuss whether cats make better pets than dogs, or vice versa.
6. Give her your favorite exotic scrambled egg recipe.
7. Play her a song from your favorite album.
Avoid like the plague politics, religion, and conspiracy theories. There will be plenty of time to argue about these later in the relationship. Iffy topics include demonic possession and the occult, UFO's, and the weather. Subject that tend to arouse strong negative feelings or conversely, that evoke no feelings at all, are best left alone.
When the conversation starts to wind down, when you both run out of things to say - this is a signal to sign off. Tell her how much you enjoyed speaking with her, that her company, even at a distance, has enlivened your evening. Ask her, gently, if she would care to repeat the experience (assuming it has not been too painful for either of you). Hang the phone up and have a cold beer or glass of wine to celebrate.

The mildest form of sexual overture is to speak with double meaning. The following phrases are some of the many that can be spliced into the conversation innocently, but delivered with a slight suggestion of deeper meaning:
Can I tempt you?
Will you take me on?
Give me a try.
You know what they say; you've got to try it to see if you like it.
Come here! I want you.
Do you want me?
I'd like to see what you've got.
I'd like to see what you can do.
I'd like to see more of you.
Are you hot?
All the way.
Do it together.
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Will you, or won't you.
Does she, or doesn't she.
If I called to pick you up later, would you be willing?
I've been trying to think of something we could do together, where we could have lots of fun.
You're getting me all excited now.
Do you want to play?
Let's fool around a bit.
These sexy pick up lines are from our best-selling book, "How to Talk to Women." To learn more on how to talk to women please Click Here.

When talking about things that excite and interest you, here are some pitfalls you'll want to avoid:

1. Don't dominate the conversation with your own enthusiasms. Be sensitive to how much time you devote to your own subject without hearing again from the other person. It's alright to let her know what turns you on, but be aware that she may not necessarily want to hear everything you have to say about that topic.

2. Avoid Jargon or technical terms when discussing topics with her and she isn't familiar with the subject. You can give her an inside look at what excites you about the topic, rather than overly specific details.

3. Be careful not to lecture or try to "sell" her on what you believe in, regardless of how strongly you believe in it or how important you feel it is. She may want to learn more about a subject that interests you, but they don't necessarily wish to be converted to your point of view.

4. Don't tell personal secrets in the early stages of a friendship with a woman. Of course, it's flattering to her to be told something confidential, but if this is early on in a friendship, the person is likely to think, "If he tells me such personal things right off, he probably tells everyone." Wait until the time is right, and you've established trust.

5. Don't try to override her point of view with your superior knowledge of a subject. Be receptive to her point of view and listen to what she has to say. Then, when it's your turn to give your opinion, she will be more receptive and open to your ideas.

The power of confidence with single women...confidence in your voice, posture, manner, your total personality, has a tremendous power and glamour in getting along with single women, but it can't work if it's completely phony. It has to be sincere.

Yet, no matter how lacking you are in confidence you can gain it surely, firmly, genuinely. It is gained the same way learning and growing is gained. You learn...that is, you can learn...from a book, but not merely by reading it. You have to master it, live it, practice it, make it part of your blood, flesh, nerves. Then it is yours!

Every time you give yourself a modest, attainable goal, but one which does require some effort and some courage, and you accomplish it, you build another pound of confidence into your bones, flesh and fiber and nervous system - where it must grow and develop if it is to be genuine and durable.

How to you start? Give yourself a small immediate goal and carry it out. Then go on to bigger and better things. If you are afraid of and shy around single women, take out any woman, and every woman, as often as you can. Each time pat yourself on the back mentally and feel yourself grow more relaxed and secure in the company of single women. Set a goal of getting a date with that single woman you're attracted to at the office, that waitress you like at the restaurant you visit often, that bartender at the club you hang out at, that checker at the supermarket that gets you all hot & bothered, etc. and ask her! Whether she accepts or turns you down, at least be gratified that you were able to carry through the action of asking, of going out and trying to get a date for yourself, on your own.

If you have an address book with some single eligible women in it, call them up and ask them for a date. It does not matter if you saw her a long time ago and did not hit it off or a woman who refused you for a date, make yourself call her and ask her out again!

Set yourself a goal of talking to a strange single woman at the supermarket, laundromat, at a concert, while standing in line at the movie, women sitting at the bar, single women on the bus, single women standing in the street, single women in the elevator, just anywhere and everywhere today! Even if it never gets further than a few casual comments exchanged between you, it will build your confidence and
skill and prepare you for more ambitious goals next time. You build confidence by doing in small ways and forcing yourself forward to gradually bigger and bigger goals! Like meeting, dating, attracting, and seducing any single sexy woman you desire!

Do you freeze up when trying to talk to women? With the help of this book you won't anymore - you'll know exactly what to say and how to say it.

"How to Talk to Women...A Guide for Tongue-Tied Men" provides you with a plan in which the problems have been considered in advance. You will not be trying to figure out what to do (and say) as you go along. It has been thought out for you, and laid out clearly for your convenience. It is a packaged plan for the man with romance and sex on his mind.

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I describe this book as: Tons of powerful pages of information and know-how, on perhaps the most important subject to men of any age: "How to impress women."

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Here are some tips on making the first call to a single woman you just met:

Practice the simple techniques that strip a first call of most of its terrors. Take a blank notebook (this will become your "phone project" book) and begin outlining how you want the conversation to go. What would you talk about? What do you know about the woman -- her life story, her personality, her likes and dislikes, her beliefs and passions? What do you feel comfortable revealing about your own self? What is most important for her to know about you? What can you say that will purposefully lead to finding things you have in common, interests you share, activities you could do together...

Hopefully, you will have by now filled up the first several pages of the project book. At this point, transfer the information to a format that will better suit your purpose. Consider making a wall chart, a more or less elaborate diagram on poster board that will prompt you, guide and direct your conversation, when required. This will function as a sort of "talisman", or lucky charm, to boost your confidence as needed.

I would like to focus this week on some vocabulary habits that can turn single women off and hurt your chances for getting women attracted to you for love and romance.

Some women will judge you by how you talk to them and what you say. Unfortunately some men have a very small vocabulary and use certain words over and over again between sentences that can become very annoying to women.

What are these words that men mistakenly repeat over and over that are a source of annoyment and can actually make you appear to be stupid because you lack a vocabulary? Here are the main ones and you must try to eliminate them from you vocabulary when speaking to single women:

"'you know"
"you know what I mean?"
"you know what I'm saying?"
"do you understand what I'm saying?"
using the word "like" to begin a sentence
"I know that"
"I already knew that"
"umm"
"yep"
"nope"
"and dah"

These phrases are ok to use every once in awhile. What I'm talking about is repeating these phases in almost every other sentence. I'm sure you know people that have these annoying conversation habits. Maybe this is even you?

Also, I might add that you should never use cuss words in your conversation when you first get to know a woman. If she's offended by foul language, this can turn her off to the point that she will have no interest in dating you.

Please don't mumble your words either. Speak clearly and don't talk with your hand over your mouth. And of course, if you're out on a lunch or dinner date, don't talk with your mouth full.

P.S. - In all fairness, if the girl you're with makes these same vocabulary blunders you do, then you will share something in common and your blunders are not likely to turn her off.