Misconceived Beliefs of Shy Men

If  I Ask a Woman to Dance and  She Turns Me Down or If I Talk  to a Woman and She Ignores Me, It's Because I'm Not Worthwhile or Good Enough For Her.

This irrational  belief causes shy men to fear approaching a woman  and produces  low self-esteem when they are  rejected. This  fear of  being rejected  and turned  down  prevents  shy men from making contact with women.

If  you're turned  down for  a dance,  it doesn't mean that you're not worthwhile or not good enough for her. She just  may not feel like dancing at the moment. She may just be tired. She may not even dance. There can be a number  of reasons. So don't take it personally.  However, what to do in  a  case like this is to ask her, "Would you like to dance later?" If she says yes,  just ask her again  later. Even better, just ask her, "Well, can I join you for some conversation?" In the mean time just ask other women to  dance.  Also,  I might  add, a lot of guys get turned down  to  dance,  so  don't  feel that you're the only man  in the world that happens  to. It happens to all men, even real good-looking men.

If  you  approach  a  woman  and  try to start up a con- sation and  she  ignores  you,  don't  take that personally either. She  just may not feel  like talking or  being  bothered.  Perhaps  she's  tied down  to  a boyfriend  or even married. Also,  you just might not be using the  proper social skills.  So if she  ignores you, move  on to the next woman  and you'll find someone who will respond to your advances.

Centerfolds

These are the topless dancers right out of the pages of Playboy that you would die for and the kind of bodies men drool over.  I'm sure when you look at these girls you have all kinds of fantasies and your hormones are raging out of control.  Can you score with these dancers?  Yes.  Will it be easy?  No.  You're going to have to have something these dancers want and need.  And what can that be?  Material things, money, gifts, trips, something to further her career, cars, pay her rent, etc.

           

Will she date you if you have a lot of charm, good personality, and good looks or average looks, but not a man of financial means or material things to offer?  Well, maybe.  The main thing is to give it your best effort to get a date with these centerfolds.  So what if you get rejected.  It's not the end of the world.  Just move on to the next beautiful playmate.  Just look at it as a numbers game.  The more times you come to bat, the more chances you have to hit a home run.

TIP #1 - Flowers and small gifts, candlelight dinners, and romantic notes and cards are all great touches. Small in time and money it takes, but large in their effect. It is important that all of these are out-of-the blue and a surprise to her.

 

FOR EXAMPLE: Sneak over to her house and leave flowers and a note at her door. Again, use these romantic touches, but do so sparingly so that you don't come on too strong.

 

TIP #2 - Use imagination for your meetings - not just the same old date. Go for walks in the rain. Have picnics in the park. Go to showings of old classic movies.

 

TIP #3 - The easiest way to impress a girl is not with talk of your athletic prowess, financial wizardry, or social stature, but rather a simple compliment like, "You are dressed beautifully tonight." Make sure that you say it at the right time so that it doesn't look like you are just trying to give her a line.

Becoming physically intimate too soon can be fatal to a relationship. It can shatter the slowly developing friendship and trust between the two of you. It magnifies and distorts feelings, clouds judgment, and superimposes cruel reality on hopes and dreams ("Is that all there is?"). It narrows options and introduces tensions and pressures into what was a joyous and carefree acquaintanceship. It damns you for  lack of respect for the woman, and for lack of discipline on your part. It is begging for trouble.

Getting to know a woman, "touching" her is critically important in a relationship. Physical contact at the wrong time can intrude, hinder real understanding, block communication.

You can learn more about each other by joining your voices in song, by becoming one in music and lyrics and poetry, than by sleeping together. You can get a deeper sense of communion by sharing a meal than by sharing a bed. Just holding hands or a gentle kiss can easily be more explosively effective in linking the two of you than having sex.

Physical intimacy implies commitment, responsibility, a sense of permanence. It is a promise. The two of you should be fully committed to each other before you seal the bond with lovemaking. Sex should never be undertaken lightly, without a full understanding of its implications...and consequences.

For Shy Men Only

 

What  is  shyness?  Webster's  defines shyness as being "uncomfortable in  the presence of  others." For the  shy man  this refers  to being uncomfortable in the presence of the opposite sex.

               

Shyness  can be  a crippling  mental handicap and it's consequences can be devastating in the following ways:

 

1. Shyness breeds negative feelings like anxiety, de­pression, and loneliness.

2. It encourages you to think too much about  yourself and to be over-preoccupied with your own reactions.

3. It will limit you in  voicing your own opinions and values and speaking up for yourself.

4. Shyness hinders  your  thinking  and  ability  to communicate effectively.

5. It has an unfavorable bearing on how others will e­valuate your personality.

6. Shyness  makes  it more difficult for you to meet new people, make friends, or enjoy potentially good times. Thank goodness, shyness can be cured and overcome!

As an example of shyness, at  every nightclub you will find the  shy man. You'll see him just standing around all night, being afraid to approach a  woman and start up a conversation or even to ask a woman to dance. So what  happens? They  get frustrated and leave  the club.  They keep  coming to  the nightclubs and repeat the same routine. They stand around wishing they could meet someone, get frustrated, and then go home  frus­trated and depressed.

               

You  can overcome your shyness  and you "must" if you're going  to  nightclubs, etc.  This  kind  of  social setting  can be most threatening and anxiety-provoking if you are a shy man. This kind of setting will only aggravate your shyness condition if you don't take the appropriate steps to overcome your shyness.

               

In order for you to promote this change yourself, first you must believe  that change  is possible. You must  really want to overcome your shyness condition. Last, you must be willing to commit time and energy to take  action and  to risk  some temporary  failures in initiating change  procedures that  can lead to long-­term  success.  To  sum  it  up  you can change if you believe you can but it takes work...hard work.

This topless dancer really likes to party, drinks heavily and loves to get high on drugs.  Is this good for you?  It can be to your advantage because of her being a free spirit she may go party with you after she gets off work.   She's not likely to just party with any guy.  She's got to be attracted to you and feel safe with you.

If all you do all night is make sexual advances towards her, it's unlikely she will go party with you.  These girls are just like any other normal girl in that they don't want to be used for se

 

So many men get the wrong impression about topless dancers.  They think that just because she takes her clothes off in front of men that she will be an easy lay.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  I know their occupation is considered sleazy, but the girls do have their dignity.

The party animal is one of the most fun to be with.  She's very open-minded and very friendly.  Your chances of getting a date with this type of dancer is more favorable too.  If you do date her, don't be the possessive and jealous type.  She may date a lot of men, being that she's loose and carefree and loves to party.  You're going to have a problem with this if you're the jealous type, so be forewarned!  If you determine that she's the party animal type, this should be your strategy: Buy her drinks and get her loaded.  She will be more receptive to your advances.  If she's loaded enough she may even give you free table dances.  If not, perhaps you could negotiate a buy one get one free offer.

TIP- If she's loaded, always ask her to show you her bush while she's dancing.  Being that she's drunk, she just may do it for you.  When a dancer is loaded she may do things she would not normally do.  Always remember this and use it to your advantage.

As the dating continues, you must continue to apply every principle we discussed in the section on your image. Be elusive, mysterious, hard to get, exciting - everything.

TIP #1 - Seeing a girl that you have just started dating, more than once a week is pushing it. Any more than once and you may be appearing over anxious. Even if she is the one calling you and initiating the effort to see you more often, don't. If she is calling you, then you are in the driver's seat. Play hard to get and make her work for your time. She'll appreciate you more when she has it. And don't feel guilty about turning her down. Simply say, "I'd love to but I'm busy tonight." No more explanation should be given. Let her sweat it out. It is important that when you turn her down, you express the fact that you definitely want to do things with her, but you are just too busy with prior obligations to see her that night.

TIP #2 - Never hangs on the phone for hours as if you have nothing better to do. Call, be pleasant, get the purpose of the call over, and excuse yourself.