I will describe what I call the "Nightclub Ego¬Man" that you will run into at nightclubs. If you're one of these men, resolve here and now that you're going to change your ways and discontinue being the Nightclub Ego-Man.
This is the guy you will see standing around, depending on his looks to meet women. He may be very handsome or he just thinks he is. He just stands around all night thinking that he's Gods gift to women and he waits for women to approach him. He keeps on waiting and waiting, never making the effort or going out of his way to approach and meet women. I don't need to tell you that this type of man is not very successful at meeting or attracting women.
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Believe me, you can't depend on your looks to pick up women. It just does not work that way. You have got to approach women and play the aggressor. You can stand around all night and most likely no woman is going to approach you and start up a conversation or ask you to dance. You have got to take the lead. I will agree that there are aggressive women who will approach a man, but there are very few of them. I just wish there were more of them because I love being approached by a woman.
You'll pick up as many women as you want by just being friendly and taking the initiative to meet them. It's really just that simple, so don't go walking around with your nose up in the air thinking you are so good-looking that women will literally fall over you. I had this problem myself until I wised up and realized what a jerk I was and why I wasn't meeting very many women.

Often men and women are at cross-purposes in romantic affairs. The man is out after a good time, and the woman is interested in meeting a prospective husband, or at least a permanent mate. But this situation often changes, and the man may develop a deeper interest. This, of course, applies to all kinds of relationships, whether they originate as an introduction, an old friendship, or a pick-up.
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But, this can be the reason why a girl will allow herself to be picked up. She may not want a one-night stand, but likes the look of the guy. So she goes along, to see what will develop, whereas the man may have his mind set on a one-night stand. A lot of men have met their future wives in such an encounter.

In conjunction with discovering how people perceive you, the question arises: What should your image be to women?
This is a difficult question to answer because everyone is different. We can, however, give you some strong guidelines:
1. Everything you do with respect to presenting an image should be done keeping in mind the eight elements of what women are looking for in men.
2. Pick out your strong points, your assets, your attributes, and accent them. Try to put your weaknesses in the background.
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3. Make it an honest portrayal. We are not advising you to portray a phony image. People will read it as phony, and you'll get nowhere. What we are saying, is that you must present your best side, and do it in a way that appeals to what women are looking for in men.
4. Make sure your total image is consistent. In other words, there should be consistency between what people see when they look at you and the things you say and do. If your behavior is in conflict with your image, it can be a "turn-off" to women - and everyone for that matter. Remember, what might work great for one guy may have a detrimental effect with women if you try it. An example of this would be if you are perceived by people to be sophisticated, then you will be attracting women who are attracted to sophistication. So if your opening remarks to a woman you just met are a series of rude, off-color jokes, chances are you will be turning her off. On the other hand, if your image is one of a "good-time Charlie," she will think those very same jokes are funny.
5. Evaluate the feedback you get from women. Be conscious of what things you do that give you positive response from women, and what things give you negative response. Let this feedback be your guide in determining how to present yourself.

These are topless dancers which are working their way through college, night school, etc. They are using the good money they make stripping to further their careers.

There are very few topless dancers that are students. Most of the dancers you will run into really don't know what they want to do with their life. Topless dancing is just temporary they will say. They're doing it just to make some money. One good thing about these types is they do have some intelligence and can carry on a conversation. You'll run into a lot of just the opposite types that are dingy, spaced out, and a vocabulary of just 15 words. So, it's a refreshing change to be around a dancer that's got some brains, ambition , and conversational skills.

Overall, I'd say pursuing student dancers is a positive experience. There's going to be one drawback and you're going to have to accept this fact. She's not going to have a lot of time for you. She has to work, study and cram for exams. Then there are the ordinary chores to do in everyday life that doesn't leave her much time for dating. This hectic lifestyle can work in your favor sometimes. These pressures can get pent up inside and seek a release. Thus, she can be in a mood to get loose, ready to party, and let loose her inhibitions. And you can be the lucky guy she lets her frustrations out on.

These are the women that you'll see time and time again at the nightclubs. They are what I call "regulars." Their whole life revolves around the nightclubs. You can find them at the clubs two or three times during the week nights and just about every weekend.

Some of these women rarely date. Their whole social life is at the nightclubs with their friends. If she belongs to her own little group of friends, it may be difficult to meet this woman. She may just associate and dance with her friends only and consider you an intruder.

If you do determine that a woman is a regular, just don't let this discourage you. She can be met just as easy as any other woman. The key to getting in good with this woman is becoming a regular yourself. This has numerous advantages because you'll become a familiar face to the other regular women. Just keep going to the nightclubs as much as possible and make it a point to meet and mingle with the women you see there regularly.

After going to a particular club regularly, it will be easy to spot the female regulars. When you become a regular yourself, you'll get to know these women on a physical and intimate basis.

Many single men are hesitant to pick up a girl because they are fearful that they may be placing themselves in a situation where they might lose control of events.
Take a man who is a little unsure of his own strength of will. In a pick-up, he will make a personal commitment to a girl who is a complete stranger. She may be a very strong willed person who is capable of dominating him. He may not want to be dominated.
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Were he to meet that girl under other circumstances he might feel that he could make a better judgment of the girl before he committed himself in a personal way. But he should realize that he really can disengage himself from the girl at any time; if he wants to. Particularly is he has not made any specific promises to her.
Another situation might be that the man possesses a very sympathetic nature, and fears that if a girl became too dependent on him, she might be difficult to disengage. But, here again, he should make no promises that might tie him down later. And if he sees problems ahead, he should get out before he gets in too deeply.

Often in forming an image of someone, people are very closed minded. They don't use all of the information at hand. They have a preconception of what they want that person to be, and they only look for things that will verify that. This is true of racial bigotry, of people bound and determined to hate the boss, of Democrats listening to a Republican candidate speak (or vice versa), and even in everyday social activity. How many men have ignored the fact that a girl is a bitch because she is large-breasted and blonde?

The point of all this is that how you see yourself may be different from how others see you. And in your quest for success with women, it is very important that you find out how others perceive you. In order to do this, you must become very honest with yourself. You must listen to what people are saying to you. You must observe how people react towards you. You must analyze the feedback you get from people. Is it positive and consistent with what you expect to receive, or is it negative and different from what you should be receiving?

In other words, you may think of yourself as being a pretty sophisticated guy. After all, you have a PhD in English literature. But since you dress in coveralls, everyone thinks you are a hick, and this discrepancy in who you really are and how people perceive you mean you will not receive the credit you are due from others. Now if you are a hermit living alone out in the wilderness, you don't care about others, you know who you are and that's all that matters - then fine. But, if you are in the real world, you want to receive respect and credit from others, and specifically, you want to achieve success with women, then you must be infinitely aware of how people perceive you, and how you can present yourself so that the image others have is consistent with the real you.

This article is an excerpt from our best-selling book, "A Man's Guide to Women" at:
http://www.getgirls.com/manguide.htm