Everyone has a little inner voice that tells them when something just doesn't seem right and warns them to beware. Listen to your little inner voice and act accordingly. If you call to respond to an ad and you don't feel comfortable with the person on the other end of the phone, hang up. Do not let yourself be pressured or cajoled into meeting someone that you feel uneasy with. If you go to meet someone and you don't like or trust them, make up an excuse, any excuse, and leave.

Meeting people through personal ads is no more or less risky than meeting people any other way. It may even be safer. Consider this:

If you answer an ad, the publication should have the information from the person who placed the ad: name, address, phone number, credit card number, etc. Yes, they could have made up false information, but it isn't likely.

You should always ask anyone that you are going to meet through a personal ad for their phone number. Find an excuse to call them before you meet them. If you call the number that they gave you and the person who answers the phone has never heard of the person that you are supposed to meet, that is probably a warning that you should heed. They may have given you the wrong number by accident, you may have written the number down wrong, or you may have dialed the wrong number. Listen to that inner voice.

If you place an ad, the person that responds usually gives you a phone number that you call to contact them the first time. Whether you placed the ad or are responding to an ad, you should at least have some information about them that is accurate even if everything else that they tell you is a lie.

The people that you meet through the personal ads are no more or less honest than the general public. Depending upon how cynical or optimistic you are, that may or may not be a very comforting thought.

I've personally known two other guys who've done this and they're okay guys. And I don't think I'm all that bad myself. For example, how many "nerds" or "losers" do you know who practice karate, skydive, ride horses, and own their own businesses?
As for "desperate," well there have been times when I've been desperate for company, but I've had a number of lovers in my lifetime. I've even turned down women who wanted to be with me. I'm a little shy but I've usually done okay.
There are many reasons for a guy to use personal ads:
1. It may be that he can't meet single girls any other way.
2. But it may also be that he's really gorgeous and wants a chance to meet a woman who'll get to know him before finding out what he looks like.
3. It may be that he's shy.
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4. It may be that he has a busy career and has no other good way of meeting people.
5. It may be that he's got kids and doesn't have much chance to get out.
6. It may be that he has a hard time finding intelligent single women in his everyday life.
7. Or it may be that he's just trying something like this for the hell of it, just to see what happens.
Basically, there are many good reasons to use personal ads. There's nothing at all weird about a man using something like this. It's just one more way of meeting people, and a pretty good one if you do things right!
This article is reprinted by permission and is Copyright 1995 and 1996 by Dean Esmay.

If you play the "personals" I'm sure this has happen to you. You answer an ad of a single woman that sounds like the woman you have been searching for all your life for love and romance. You write her a real nice letter and enclose an attractive photo of yourself and you just can't wait to here back from her. And you wait...and you wait...and you wait. You're wondering, what in the hell is going on? Why haven't I heard back from her? Well, here's the top ten reasons you have not heard back from her:
1. The woman prefers to call the guys that responded to her ad rather than write. She got a lot of responses and you are on the bottom of the pile and she has not gotten around to calling you. Be patient, she just might call you.
2. She may be on a long vacation or perhaps travelling on the job. Hang in there!
3. She may be ill or perhaps had to have some surgery.
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4. A former boyfriend has come back into her life.
5. She is a chronic procrastinator. She may put you off for a long time or not even respond at all.
6. She's very busy with work, family, community activities, etc. and does not have much time to respond to ads.
7. She received just too many responses to her ad to handle and she only responds to the ones that hold the most promise and capture's her interest. Maybe you just go left out.
8. Before she got your letter, she met someone else she's interested in that she met through her ad.
9. They are in no hurry to answer replies and just have not gotten around to answering your letter. It's not a high priority in their life to answer replies.
10. They are just not interested in you. Don't worry about it, rejection is a part of life. There are plenty of other fish in the sea, as the saying goes.
In conclusion, when answering personal ads of single women, don't put all your eggs in one basket. Answer plenty of personal ads and don't pin all your hopes on just one woman.

I was using the online Personals for a while and met a great girl and was seeing her for about 1 year. Then we grew apart and the rest is history.

Since breaking up with her (September 2001), I once again jumped into the online personals. In the 8 months on there, I have had 7 dates. 5 were lost causes and 2 were good. I ended up sleeping with the 2 good ones after the third date.

So, to me the online thing has been a success. As I get to meet plenty of different women (although not all of them I am attracted to).

My advice to people out there is as follows:

List your likes and what you like to do for fun. Don’t tell women how much of a great, caring, sweet, sensitive person you are. Be a Man tell them what you like. And they can decide if they enjoy the same things.

ALWAYS get a photo (full body shot if possible). I have been out with a few women who say they have a "average" body with curves in the right places. Well to me a size 16, with a fat ass, fat belly and chunky legs does not constitute a normal sized girl.

Girls love it when I would list questions for them to answer (about 5 or 6 each email). Don’t really know why they just do. Most would say they ‘love it when I listed question for them to answer.". Non -threatening ones to start with. Such as "Ultimate dream career?", "What do you want to do when you grow up?", "If you could holiday anywhere in the world where would it be?"

Again, as always, "bust their balls."

And act like you are verifying them and that they have to prove their worth to you. It drives them nuts and confuses the shit out of them. I would say, "You seem like a pretty nice girl, but who knows, when I meet you, you might be one of those cyber fruit loops." And keep up this verifying attitude. They have to prove themselves to you.

Regards

Todd, Australia.

P.S. Guys, don’t think money, looks, a new car, etc. will attract women. I am 23 years old, earn AU $65,000 pa, a project manager, have a brand new PT Cruiser, building my first house and live in an exclusive area in Melbourne, above average looking (7 or 8) and graduated with 1st Class Honors from a University. But, I still don’t get women coming after me. I understand that it is confidence and me approaching them that will get me the girls. Which I am still working on. So don’t be too down on yourselves if you aren’t rich.

Listed here are some great Newsgroup Personals to meet single women on the Net. There are more and more single women getting online and I would strongly recommend placing some ads and answering ads. You've got nothing to lose and who knows, you just might get lucky. Print this list and using your news browser, subscribe to these newsgroups. Some newsgroups may not be in your area, but don't be concerned because long-distance relationships can be a lot of fun. I've had plenty of successful long-distance relationships and used the personals for years to meet hot & sexy single women from all over the U.S.
Just do a search on Google Groups to find information on the groups to meet women:
alt.personals
alt.personals.ads
alt.personals.big-folks (big people)
alt.personals.fat (fat people)
alt.personals.fetish (people with sex fetishes)
alt.personals.herpes (people with herpes)
alt.personals.intercultural (intercultural/foreign relations)
alt.personals.jewish (to meet Jewish single women)
alt.personals.latinas (to meet Latina single women)
alt.personals.misc
alt.personals.phone (telephone relationships wanted)
alt.personals.poly (people wanting multiple partners)
alt.personals.spanking (people into spanking)
alt.personals.tall (tall people)
austin.personals (Austin Area of Texas)
ba.singles (San Franciso Bay Area of California)
ba.personals (San Francisco Bay Area of California)
dc.romance (Washington, D.C. Area)
de.talk.romance (Delaware Area)
dfw.singles (Dallas, Ft. Worth Area of Texas)
dfw.personals (Dallas Ft. Worth Area of Texas)
chi.personals (Chicago Area)
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la.personals (Los Angeles Area of California)
houston.personals (Houston Area of Texas)
houston.singles (Houston Area of Texas)
md.personals (Maryland Area)
ne.singles (New England Area)
nv.personals (Nevada Area)
nv.singles (Nevada Area)
nyc.singles (New York City Area)
nyc.personals (New York City Area)
ont.singles (Ontario Canada Area)
ott.singles (Ottawa Canada Area)
pdaxs.ads.personals (Portand Area of Oregon)
pgh.singles (Pittsburgh Area of Pennsylvania)
phl.singles (Philidelphia Area of Pennsylvania)
pnw.personals (Pacific Northwest Area)
sac.singles (Sacramento Area of California)
sat.personals (San Antonio Area of Texas)
sdnet.singles (San Diego Area of California)
sdnet.personals (San Diego Area of California)
slo.personals (San Luis Obispo Area of California)
torfee.personals (Toronto Canada Freenet Personals)
uk.adverts.personals (United Kingdom)
vegas.personals (Las Vegas Area of Nevada)

Most people put something in their personal ad about their hobbies or what they like to do. It is important for you to find other people with common interests and to avoid people who don't like, or may even hate, doing what you love to do. WARNING: Unless you really do love to downhill ski and eat sushi, do not say in your ad that you do just because downhill skiing and sushi eating are popular activities that sound good in an ad and will impress people. People may respond to your ad because they really do love to ski and eat sushi and are looking for someone to do them with. If that happens, you had better be a quick learner, be ready to wear a fake cast next ski season, or hope that they can overlook your mis-statement. If you hate sushi, I don't know what to tell you to help you fake even liking sushi, much less to help you learn to love shushi. You might try claiming that you developed a sudden deadly allergy to fish, particularly raw fish.

This warning about being honest about what you like applies equally when you respond to an ad. If you read an ad that you really liked but the person said that they love camping and hiking and you are a city boy, do not assume that you can pull the wool over their eyes. It's a lot better to tell them that you haven't been camping or hiking since your parents made you go to summer camp and that you now know what poison oak looks like. If you really are interested in trying camping and hiking again, just tell them so. If that isn't good enough for them, you probably saved yourself a lot of time. You also might be living in an area that doesn't have poison oak, but does have poison ivy. They don't look similar at all. I found out the hard way.

This article is an excerpt from our publication called, "Effective Personal Ads - How to Write Personal Ads or Respond to Personal Ads." If you would like more details and ordering information please Click Here.

It's tempting to assume that a longer ad is better than a shorter ad. I disagree. It's certainly true that a 200 word long ad will stand out from the shorter 50 word ads that surround it. It is also true that if you can't write a good 40-60 word ad that makes people want to know more about you and respond, you probably can't do it in an ad that is 100 words or even 500 words. A 1977 AMC Pacer that was considered an ugly car when it was new will become an antique car in time, but it will then be considered an ugly antique car. And written drivel is drivel, no matter how short or long.

If you take your time to write your personal ad and are creative, you should be able to say enough about yourself in 40 to 60 words. This is especially true if you have a voice mailbox and record a good voice message to go along with and compliment what you said in your written ad.

The idea in writing your ad is to strive for quality and not simply rely on quantity. Be brutally honest and ask yourself this simple question: "If I was reading this ad, would I want to take the time and spend my money to respond to it?" Better yet, if you aren't too embarrassed, have someone whose judgment you trust, preferably of the opposite sex, read your ad and critique it. Not just for style, but for accuracy. Ask them not only if they think that your ad will be interesting to people of the opposite sex, ask them if you are being honest. If you said in your ad that you were 5' 10" tall and a neat freak, but they laugh and say that you are 5' 7" and a slob, you'll save yourself a lot of time and money by listening to them and making some changes. That is why God invented editors.

This article is an excerpt from our manual called, "Effective Personal Ads - How to Write Personal Ads or Respond to Personal Ads." For more details on this manual please Click Here.

You have answered a personal ad of the single woman of your dreams. From the description of her ad she seems like a perfect match for you for romance and a possible serious relationship. You write her a letter and anxiously wait to hear back from her. And you wait...and wait...and wait and you never hear from her.

So, you wonder what went wrong? Is she rejecting me? Did I say something in my letter that turned her off? Why won't she write back? Most likely you made some common mistakes that turn single women off or caused them to lose interest in you. Listed here are some things that may have gone wrong so you can take corrective measures on the next personal ad you answer:

1. Your letter was too sexually suggestive. When writing to a woman for the first time, never write anything of a sexual nature. It's a big turn off.

2. All you did was brag about yourself, your accomplishments, and your possessions in your letter.

3. You forgot to give her your phone number in case she may want to call you instead of writing you back. Some single women prefer to do it this way. If you just write back with your address, she may get letters from guys who include their phone number and she will pass you up in favor of calling them. There's another factor to consider. If you won't give out your phone number, she may think that you are married or living with another woman.

4. The letter you sent her looked like it was zeroxed. This is a real big no no.

5. You forgot to send her a stamped reply envelope with your letter. A stamped reply envelope helps to ensure an answer back and it shows the woman that you are very thoughtful. This makes a very good impression on single women.

6. You forgot to mention what is was in her ad that attracted you to write her. Single women love compliments and they want to know why to chose to write her.

I was using the online Personals for a while and met a great girl and was seeing her for about 1 year. Then we grew apart and the rest is history.

Since breaking up with her (September 2001), I once again jumped into the online personals. In the 8 months on there, I have had 7 dates. 5 were lost causes and 2 were good. I ended up sleeping with the 2 good ones after the third date.

So, to me the online thing has been a success. As I get to meet plenty of different women (although not all of them I am attracted to).

My advice to people out there is as follows:

List your likes and what you like to do for fun. Don’t tell women how much of a great, caring, sweet, sensitive person you are. Be a Man tell them what you like. And they can decide if they enjoy the same things.

ALWAYS get a photo (full body shot if possible). I have been out with a few women who say they have a "average" body with curves in the right places. Well to me a size 16, with a fat ass, fat belly and chunky legs does not constitute a normal sized girl.

Girls love it when I would list questions for them to answer (about 5 or 6 each email). Don’t really know why they just do. Most would say they ‘love it when I listed question for them to answer.". Non -threatening ones to start with. Such as "Ultimate dream career?", "What do you want to do when you grow up?", "If you could holiday anywhere in the world where would it be?"

Again, as always, "bust their balls."

And act like you are verifying them and that they have to prove their worth to you. It drives them nuts and confuses the shit out of them. I would say, "You seem like a pretty nice girl, but who knows, when I meet you, you might be one of those cyber fruit loops." And keep up this verifying attitude. They have to prove themselves to you. Regards, Todd, Australia.

P.S. Guys, don’t think money, looks, a new car, etc. will attract women. I am 23 years old, earn AU $65,000 pa, a project manager, have a brand new PT Cruiser, building my first house and live in an exclusive area in Melbourne, above average looking (7 or 8) and graduated with 1st Class Honors from a University. But, I still don’t get women coming after me. I understand that it is confidence and me approaching them that will get me the girls. Which I am still working on. So don’t be too down on yourselves if you aren’t rich.

I need to make you aware of something when you are playing the personals to meet single women for love, romance, and a potential relationship. 9 times out of 10 if a single woman doesn't list her weight in her personal ad, she is very likely to be overweight or even grossly obese. Plus, you need to be aware that when they do list
their weight it may be a lie to try and hide the fact that they are overweight.

Of course, if you don't mind dating overweight single women then it's not a problem if they don't list their weight or lie about their weight. And I commend you for the ability to accept a woman as a person and not judge her according to her looks and weight.

But, if you're picky and desire a slender woman, I would advise you to ignore any personal ads where they don't list their weight.

Let me make a few comments about men who won't date single women that are overweight. I really don't think it's fair being prejudice towards overweight women. Unless they have a medical problem they can lose that weight and become the woman you desire. Also, overweight single women are hungry for attention and love because they sometimes get passed over in favor of more slender women.

Also, there's another issue which I don't think is fair. There are guys that are overweight with big potbellies that only want to date slender and pretty women and are turned off by overweight women like themselves. Well, I think they should take a good look in the mirror and picture how their gross-looking body can turn off single women.

It works both ways. There are a lot of single women who are turned off by overweight potbellied men. If you are overweight, I highly recommend that you get on a healthy diet and exercise regimen to trim down. It will help you to attract and seduce more single women. Besides, it will give you a lot more energy and it's good for your mental and physical health.

In closing, I highly recommend that you don't overlook single women that are only 10-30 pounds overweight. This is not that much to lose to get to their ideal weight and when they do lose the weight they will really look hot & sexy and they will be very proud of their body.

Plus, women are overly sensitive about their weight and may feel grossly overweight even though they only need to lose 10-30 pounds. This can work in your favor when you show a lot of interest in them. This makes them feel needed and wanted and they will admire the fact that you can accept them as they are even if they are a little bit overweight.

I can tell you that demanding a photo will dramatically decrease the number of responses that you will get. Some people will resent your preoccupation with physical appearances, others will not have a good photo to send. Some people are unwilling to part with the photos that they have. These are givens that you are just going to have to accept as the price you will pay for demanding a photo. But, if you don't want to risk going out with someone that you find unattractive, demand a photo. But be prepared to send them an accurate photo of yourself since they are probably just as concerned and preoccupied about how you look. It isn't fair to go out and buy a new wallet and send them the sample picture of the model that comes with the wallet either.

This article is an excerpt from our publication called, "Effective Personal Ads - How to Write Personal Ads or Respond to Personal Ads." For more details please Click Here.

This week I want to share with you some great personal ads to use to attract single women like crazy and increase your responses to personal ads that you place in singles publications, on the net, newspapers, etc. Try these personal ads (just fill in the blanks for your personal data and the kind of single women you are looking for) guys and I'm sure you will be pleased with the results:

Handsome SWM, 40, slender Hare seeking cute little bunny 25-35, romantic and slender to share my carrots with. Let's hop all over town and have some good times and have a hare-raising experience. If you like to lay in clover and nibble, a plus.

Good Morning My Lovely. My name is Don. I'm a SWM, 6', with a muscular build. I have been told that I am very nice-looking, sensitive, communicate well, and fun to be with. I feel 35 (but I'm not). I also act as though I enjoy single life (but I don't). What I am is 45 and tired of playing games. What I want is to be able to find someone to share those experiences in life which are best when shared. It would be nice if you were as beautiful physically as you are emotionally. However, the important word is "sincerity" and a willingness to give 100% in a relationship (as I am). I hope that we can become friends, that you're a non-smoker, and that you'll be considerate enough to send a recent photo. In the meantime, smile, and remember: Happiness is something we do deserve.

Have Life Will Share - Have hands, will hold. Have arms, will cuddle. Have ears, will listen. Have mind, will communicate. Have imagination, will share. Have heart, will give. SWM, 40, slender, 6' 1", 200 lbs. In search of SWF, 25-35, slender, romantic and affectionate, who has as much to give.

'70 Coupe - Sports Sleek White Body. Comes with black flat top, looks great at 170, stands 5' 11" and loaded. One owner is non-smoking, degreed professional male. Seeking attractive female buyer, 25-35 who knows an exceptional deal. Lease/Purchase options available. Write for complete details.

Big-hearted Teddy Bear - DWM, 46, 6' 2", 240 lbs. Some of life's pleasures for me are cooking, working on cars, fishing, camping, traveling. I love holding hands, sending flowers, good music of all kinds, and long talks by the fireplace. I'm looking for that one special lady who shares my respect for honesty, openness, and the need for communication. A lot of good loving is being wasted here.

I thought I would pass along some interesting stats from Match.com which is one of the largest and most popular online dating services to meet single women:

56% male, 44% female

29% are under age 30; 51% are ages 30-49; 20% are age 50+

79% have some college or a college degree

69% non-smokers, 24% smokers, (7% did not answer)

56% do not have children, 23% have children who at least sometimes live at home, 19% have children away from home (2% did not answer)

The 50+ age group is the fastest growing demographic

This advice is in regards to using a foreign matchmaking service to find a bride overseas.

1. It's very important that you make your letter legible. Write or type very clearly. I would recommend that you type your letter and be sure and use your spell-checker feature.

2. Don't focus on just writing to one woman. Be sure and write to many single women. This increases the chances of finding the woman that's right for you.

3. Don't be concerned if you are not handsome. These women are more interested in what you are like on the inside. They value character, stability, honesty, and love of family much more than your looks.

4. What should you say in your letters? To make the best impression focus on telling them about where you live and what it's like, your hopes and dreams, what you like to do for fun, your hobbies and interests, talk about your home or apartment, and most important of all ask about their family. Don't bore her about politics or any complicated theories and don't try to impress her with your knowledge
and how intelligent you are.

5. Be sure and send her a recent and good quality picture. Send the best picture you have available.

6. Tell her about your occupation and educational background. Don't try to impress her with your wealth and possessions. They are not as concerned about material wealth as some of the gold-diggers here in America. They will fall for you because you are kind and courteous and treat her like a lady rather than because you are rich.

7. Don't pass on beautiful hot single women that may be twenty years younger than you. They are not concerned about the age issue like here in America. They judge you by your heart and if you are a good person and not because you are a little older than her.

8. When you write her send her some address labels with your address on them. This is a nice gesture on your part.

9. Don't trust foreign post offices. Postal workers can be dishonest and screen letters for money. Send letters in duplicate to make sure the letter gets through and explain to her why you are sending duplicate letters. The best way to send letters is to send them Certified. It cost a little extra, but this way you know the letter will get to her.

10. Don't use real fancy envelopes or commemorative stamps. This just draws attention to your envelope and you don't want this because of dishonest postal workers that may open your letter to look for money. Use plain envelopes and stamps. Even better, have the post office run your letter through the postal meter.

I highly recommend that you play the personal ads for dating, love, intimacy, and romance. And when you answer a woman's ad for the first time here's a great letter to use. Just edit it to use for yourself. This letter will really make a good impression on single women and make her want to write you back. Try it, it works!:
Dear...
Let's become good friends, then...Hope for a beautiful relationship.
I feel that before we can have a good relationship, we must put forth the energy and time it takes to first become good friends. Friendship is one of the most important building blocks of a good relationship. To me, friends are like flowers in the garden of life.
My desire is to meet a beautiful, sensitive, sensuous, warm, assertive single lady who wants a friend. My interpretation of a friend is one to whom you can pour out all the contents of your heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentleness of hands will take it all, sift it, keep that which is worth keeping and, with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away. I thank you in advance for allowing me to be that kind of friend to you.
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If you feel it would be good for us to meet, write and tell me more about yourself. And please have good thoughts about our further relationship, for thoughts are like seeds. All the flowers of all the tomorrows are in the seed of today.
Let me tell you about myself. I am divorced (five years ago), Caucasian, dark brown hair, blue eyes, 6' 3", trim 175 lbs., clean-cut and a healthy gentleman. I am self-sufficient, handsome, self-employed (businessman), happy, secure, self-confident, psychologically aware, emotionally and financially secure.
I love poetry, books, walks on the beach and cozy candlelight dinners. I enjoy movies, television, music, traveling, the desert, the quietness of the mountains, the ocean, sunrises and sunsets.
I am comfortable in jeans or a nice Italian suit. A nonsmoker/drinker, not into drugs (don't need them; I live in a natural high). I believe in enjoying the good life and am high on it. I have a healthy attitude about God and the Bible.
I am not a game player. I never want personal happiness at the expense of someone else. If we have a single date or a lifetime together, I will never lie to you, try to manipulate you or use you in any way. I am an incurable romantic who treasures, cherishes and appreciates sincerity, integrity, honesty and warmth. I enjoy picnics, laughing, talking, touching, affection and physical closeness. A good listener who enjoys mutual spoiling and also I am a one-woman man.
I am looking for a special, loving relationship with a unique lady who is affectionate, beautiful, slender, with a shapely figure, sincere, easygoing, with interests and characteristics similar to mine...someone who wants a meaningful, serious, long-term relationship...not just a few dates. Are you that special lady?
Well, what do you think? Isn't this a great letter! You could also use this for online personals too. The next step is up to you...Try the personals, they sure worked for me!

When it comes to placing or answering a personal ad I don't think that there is an advantage or disadvantage to having or not having children. Some people, even those without children, prefer to date people who have children. Some people are neutral. Others would never consider dating someone with children.

If you have children, you should mention that fact and the relevant details as early as possible. If the fact that you do or do not have children matters to someone else, you might as well find out as soon as possible. If you are placing an ad, I think that you should state in the ad that you have children. There are many ways to say that you have kids. I see "active mom" or "custodial dad" frequently used.

I think that it is smart to tell the ages of the children and mention any special circumstances such as if the other parent has custody, whether a child has special needs, or that your children are grown up and gone. Things like that can make a difference one way or the other.

If you don't want to date someone who has children, don't say, "I hate kids." Use a bit of tact and say something like, "I prefer to date a man (or woman) without children." It will eliminate many people who have a lot of the other characteristics that you seek. But, if you really don't want to date someone who has children, especially if you really can't stand children, clearly state your preference. If you're one of those who are neutral on the issue, discuss your ambivalence if someone responds who sounds interesting and has children. You might find that you love children after all.