These are the women that you'll see time and time again at the nightclubs. They are what I call "regulars." Their whole life revolves around the nightclubs. You can find them at the clubs two or three times during the week nights and just about every weekend.
Some of these women rarely date. Their whole social life is at the nightclubs with their friends. If she belongs to her own little group of friends, it may be difficult to meet this woman. She may just associate and dance with her friends only and consider you an intruder.
If you do determine that a woman is a regular, just don't let this discourage you. She can be met just as easy as any other woman. The key to getting in good with this woman is becoming a regular yourself. This has numerous advantages because you'll become a familiar face to the other regular women. Just keep going to the nightclubs as much as possible and make it a point to meet and mingle with the women you see there regularly.
After going to a particular club regularly, it will be easy to spot the female regulars. When you become a regular yourself, you'll get to know these women on a physical and intimate basis.
Many single men are hesitant to pick up a girl because they are fearful that they may be placing themselves in a situation where they might lose control of events.
Take a man who is a little unsure of his own strength of will. In a pick-up, he will make a personal commitment to a girl who is a complete stranger. She may be a very strong willed person who is capable of dominating him. He may not want to be dominated.
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Were he to meet that girl under other circumstances he might feel that he could make a better judgment of the girl before he committed himself in a personal way. But he should realize that he really can disengage himself from the girl at any time; if he wants to. Particularly is he has not made any specific promises to her.
Another situation might be that the man possesses a very sympathetic nature, and fears that if a girl became too dependent on him, she might be difficult to disengage. But, here again, he should make no promises that might tie him down later. And if he sees problems ahead, he should get out before he gets in too deeply.
Often in forming an image of someone, people are very closed minded. They don't use all of the information at hand. They have a preconception of what they want that person to be, and they only look for things that will verify that. This is true of racial bigotry, of people bound and determined to hate the boss, of Democrats listening to a Republican candidate speak (or vice versa), and even in everyday social activity. How many men have ignored the fact that a girl is a bitch because she is large-breasted and blonde?
The point of all this is that how you see yourself may be different from how others see you. And in your quest for success with women, it is very important that you find out how others perceive you. In order to do this, you must become very honest with yourself. You must listen to what people are saying to you. You must observe how people react towards you. You must analyze the feedback you get from people. Is it positive and consistent with what you expect to receive, or is it negative and different from what you should be receiving?
In other words, you may think of yourself as being a pretty sophisticated guy. After all, you have a PhD in English literature. But since you dress in coveralls, everyone thinks you are a hick, and this discrepancy in who you really are and how people perceive you mean you will not receive the credit you are due from others. Now if you are a hermit living alone out in the wilderness, you don't care about others, you know who you are and that's all that matters - then fine. But, if you are in the real world, you want to receive respect and credit from others, and specifically, you want to achieve success with women, then you must be infinitely aware of how people perceive you, and how you can present yourself so that the image others have is consistent with the real you.
This article is an excerpt from our best-selling book, "A Man's Guide to Women" at:
http://www.getgirls.com/manguide.htm
Unfortunately, you're going to run into this type in the topless clubs. Don't even think about trying to pick them up. You're just wasting your time. They have no intentions in dating any of the men that come to the club. They will lead you on and make you think that they are crazy about you, sit in your lap, kiss you and be all lovey-dovey towards you. It's all an act. You will think to yourself, "Wow! I'm going to get laid tonight." And in the mean time you're dishing out money buying her drinks and paying for table dances. She is just using you and all she sees when she looks at you is dollar signs.
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Be sure and read Chapter Eight on how to tell if a topless dancer is interested in you. This is a great guideline that will tell you if she's putting on an act or if she really likes you and attracted to you. This can prevent you from becoming a fool and parting with your hard earned money with nothing in return. If you determine that a dancer is just a teaser, she will be real easy to get rid of, just stop buying her drinks and don't buy any table dances. She will leave and move on to the next fool who will fall for her act and devious ways.
Unfortunately, these type of people exist in all phases of life and you will see your share of them in the nightclubs.
This woman is a stuck up snob and thinks she's hot stuff. She walks around the club with her nose up in the air. If you try to stop her and talk to her, she just ignores you and keeps on walking. This is very annoying to us men. It wouldn't hurt her to be friendly and talk to you. Also, out on the dance floor she will be constantly looking at herself in the mirrors, if there happen to be mirrors on the dance floor. She loves looking at herself.
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The egotists are difficult to approach because they think they are too good for you. Don't let this discourage you though. At least make an attempt to meet her and if you fail, there are usually plenty of friendly women to meet. Myself, I'll take a friendly woman over a snob any day.
You've tried a few pick-ups but have gotten rejected, or brushed aside, immediately, and you don't know why. Perhaps your opening moves weren't positive enough. Perhaps you accepted the rejection too easily; you have to be a little persistent. Perhaps you chose a girl who simply didn't want to be picked up; there are many like that. Don't worry; your performance should improve after you learn some more.
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The BIG Problem. Lack of Confidence. You just can't pluck up the courage to try. Probably your fears are based on the knowledge that you have problems in some (or all) of the five areas already mentioned. Or you may be affected by shyness or an unreasonable fear of rejection.
A person's image is a difficult thing to define. When someone forms an image of another person, it is a mental picture, conception, or impression of that person. This impression is formed using the information at hand. Your voice, the things you say, the way you walk, the color of your hair, your height, build, your clothes, your grooming, your behavior, anything and everything can be used by someone to form an opinion of you. But, any one man has many different images. Different people have different images of him, and all of these images may be completely different from how he perceives himself. For example, people who see Bob riding with his motorcycle gang on weekends have a different image of him than formed by people who see him at work as an accountant.
But let's discuss a more typical example. Let's put Ron at a party. He is, for the most part, average in looks and dress with respect to the other people there. At one point in the party, he is talking to three girls. They are interested in what he has to say and are standing around him. To other people at the party, Ron appears to be quite the lady's man. He must be an interesting, attractive, sexy guy or these women wouldn't be hanging around him. Women are thinking, "Gee, how can I meet him?" Later on, Ron has gone for a drink, everyone else is locked in conversation, and he stands by the fireplace alone, content to listen to music and observe the others at the party. At this moment, a late arrival enters the room and sees Ron. She is thinking, "Boy, everyone else is talking to someone, and this guy is standing here alone. He must not be found attractive by anyone. I'll take their word for it and decide he's unattractive too." The same person, the same clothes, the same night, and two completely different perceptions formed.
